So this is where my PVP side of me comes out, which at this point, this doesn't reflect to the views of Frontier Developments. This is over two decades worth of me playing FPS, RTS, MMO's, etc...
If a commander's ship is blown up by legitimate methods (read: by not using some silly app/script to hack the game client to magnify/aimbot the damage), be it open, or group, or whatever the mode... and they're crying about a one off event, that is not griefing, that is of one or more of the following...
1) Learn to play.
2) Know enemy player ships and loadouts.
3) Learn how to combat it.
4) Learn the alternatives to what just happened.
This goes without saying, if you've joined some persons private server (a private group in ED's case), it's generally requested that players stick to the guidelines given.
Whether as part of an official statement or otherwise, it's honestly disappointing to hear a Frontier employee publicly using the veiled derisive language of anti-social players.
-snip-
I can't rep you again. But +1 for saving me typing a similar post