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Thread: The brand new and shiny Official ABRAKA DRABBLE Thread. (+shiny new forum)

  1. #2806

    Kows Pants - kow smells. But not as much as Midden

    All these fancy pancy ships with special bits here and there and here's me stuck in the first ship I ever saved up for. It looks good and it does the same it always has done.
    All these youngsters are out there with these engineered gizmoids they've drawn attention to space bugs.
    Space bugs and pirates! Scum.
    So the extra heat from that stupid neutron highway pish caused my special decoy cargo to explode.
    So now my ship smells more than Kows pilots seat on a hot summers day.
    How do I remove a smell from my eyeballs? It burns.

  2. #2807

    Plaguey Rythms

    'Plague yer eyes and blast yer nipplenuts' muttered the pirate engineer,ripping a nut from the stripped thread,to an accompanying squeal of feedback.'The speakers warbled.'You might at least have shut me down before you started repairs.It doesn't help that i can see the violation you are committing upon me in great detail.'He chuckled'I voided that warranty a long time ago.Hello,what's this?'He tugged and withdrew a small wedge of paper.'Hey,don't read that.Its private!Personal correspondance!'Ignoring the protestations of outrage,he unfolded the soiled missive and began to read.

  3. #2808

    Message in a Bogroll

    Auntie Kow read the odd missive that had just excreted out of her pink fluffy receiver. "How do I remove a smell from my eyeballs? It burns."

    "Weirdos! Why do I attract them like flies to a turd?", she quickly checked the "On Air" light was still off. "I used to advise the Emperor, now I get imbeciles".

    Scrunching up the printed excretion she threw it into her extremely rare floating Lavian-grubb bag. The preserved bloat sac gave a happy chirp.

    Switching live she crooned, "Aunties signing off now. Nothing but trash in the garbage disposal, fly safe my lovelies".

  4. #2809

    The Machine of a Dream. Such a Clean Machine

    Dear Psykokow,

    I got a new heat dispersion plate through the mail from Hera Tani the other day. She did an excellent job of wraggling the spigot. I managed to fit it in myself with just an 'R' spreader.

    My girlfriend is getting annoyed at all the money I'm spending. She says it's either her or the Krait.

    Please tell me what should I do? I was thinking of a new split nose from the ship kit, or should I go for one of those fancy spoilers? They say the spoilers are cosmetic but all the Buckyball racers have them.

  5. #2810

    Help I've Contracted A Word of the Week!!!

    Dear Kowdrie

    I have been having a little trouble with my little trouble after I spent a week in dongkum
    having took all the necessary precautions with electroplating and hermetically sealing my knob,
    I still managed to contract what can only be described as Dongkum Dysentery.
    Now I've had a case of the ole squiteroos before now as food poisoning is rife in any McThargoid,
    I felt the grumbling echo deep inside,
    Different....
    Yes I had to shuffle to the bathroom from the knees down but shooting poop out of trouble? How can I get rid of this rampant syndrome?

  6. #2811
    That's it then

    https://forums.frontier.co.uk/showth...the-agony-aunt

    If there are any late stragglers Midden can deal with them

  7. #2812
    Congratulations Galactic Midden. Don't think of it as a poor turnout. Think of it as 100% of the votes!

  8. #2813
    Originally Posted by Frank View Post (Source)
    Congratulations Galactic Midden. Don't think of it as a poor turnout. Think of it as 100% of the votes!
    I can't believe it! In fact I refuse to. I demand a recount!

    If that doesn't work then I give you all the topic... Destiny's Child.

    That'll learn 'em

  9. #2814
    Could someone please take over the job of posting the poll on Thursdays?

    I got an infraction last week for posting objectionable content and so I want to be a little careful about what I'm posting. That might be difficult if I'm pasting text from the Simons <grin>

  10. #2815
    Originally Posted by Frank View Post (Source)
    Could someone please take over the job of posting the poll on Thursdays?

    I got an infraction last week for posting objectionable content and so I want to be a little careful about what I'm posting. That might be difficult if I'm pasting text from the Simons
    I can't help sorry as I'm working away from home this week. Can anyone else oblige?

  11. #2816

    There can be only one - hurgggh!

    The ambasador stood red-faced - "So you're not the chosen one?"
    "No!" chuckled Midden "What gave you that idea?"
    "This photo." The ambassaador held it forward - it was a photo of a young Midden.
    In the photo the youngster is seen fighting several burly men. The docks are full of ships and their unloaded cargo. Drug dealers and prostitutes look on.
    On he back is written "Child of Destiny"
    "Ahhhh" laughed StupidMidden, "Yeah turn it back over"
    "See that old ugly hag, the big fat walrus smelly tramp hooker?"
    "Surely she is not the chosen one?"
    "No. Thats Destiny. My mum."

  12. #2817
    Title:_ Aliens are not evil creatures

    "All aboard our Beluga, Destiny's Child"
    "Sit down and take your places on this luxurious space liner"
    "We are in the top 1% of cruise liners and our destination today is Maia"
    Destiny's Child launched from Minnies Port in Wolf 25
    After a few interdictions by space pirates that didn't know the difference between a space liner and a type-9.
    A few jumps later they entered Thargoid space.
    Then they was hyperdicted by a scout.
    An alien voice came over the tannoy.
    I'm lost can anyone tell me where preston is.
    Cow said "It's next to Blackpool on planet Earth.

  13. #2818

    Homecoming

    Sasha Fierce had always known that she was different. Never quite fitting in anywhere, even her origins were mysterious. She had been found as a baby in an old escape pod. Some twenty years later, with the help of Ram Tah she had finally partially solved the mystery of where she had come from..

    After weeks of searching she finally found the signal she had hoped to find. Dropping out of supercruise, her Krait was dwarfed by a vast megaship. It seemed to still be active and scans revealed it to be the Generation Ship Destiny. Finally she was home.

  14. #2819

    Soon to be published by Not-So-Fantastic Books...

    Destiny’s Child singers Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams do not feature in the following!


    There once was a singer Beyonce,
    Who drank cases and cases of beaujolais.
    She wore her lingerie
    In total disarray
    Which made for an entertaining caberet.


    The girl group called the Child of the Destiny
    Sang songs that would count as a felony.
    They sang as a threnody
    Which far from being heavenly
    Was as pleasant as having a splenectomy.


    A rapper with the strange name of Jay-Z
    Retired and undertook philanthropy.
    He campaigned with Bono
    Took water to the Congo
    Thus dispelling allegations of superficiality.

  15. #2820

    Des's Teeny Child

    'Get that beam out ya backside' Midden screamed at another zero G athlete, He shook his head.
    ' I haven't seen this many blown men since I accidentally walked into a bar called 'Eltons' on my 21st birthday.
    Can we at least try on the next rotation to keep the privates rotating in the pants and not hanging from a metal ring 30ft above the ground?
    It crippled your landing. And if there's anyone who knows about crippling landings it's me. Gawd this day couldn't get any worse'

    A P.A announcement drowned him out

    'Next on the Uneven bars, Susan Boils'