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Thread: The brand new and shiny Official ABRAKA DRABBLE Thread. (+shiny new forum)

  1. #2956

    WAR (aka What is it good for?)

    In retrospect, there were critical flaws in the plan.

    I mean, first off, we've got great pilots - for a small, independent faction in our corner of space - but the Federal fleet's flock of Core Dynamics ships and well-honed training program shouldn't have been underestimated.

    Then, we overlooked that our target happened to control every spaceport within jump distance once we arrived, so we couldn't refuel or re-arm.

    Finally, and perhaps most importantly, we were counting on a local uprising, when 90% of the system inhabitants work for their navy. Not great math on our part.

    Ah, the best laid plans...

  2. #2957
    Title: “Versions”
    By Fletch – Aged 7 and
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    We had Alpha, then Beta, but they never released Gamma…
    “Too advanced for mere humans” Broobin warned.
    Then late one evening after a 16 hour coding session, an overworked dev clicked the wrong “RUN PROGRAM” executable and accidentally started the Gamma code compiling.
    Before they realised the mistake, the AI’s became self-aware.
    Using all server and storage resources on the LAN , the AI's quickly attained consciousness,
    Bypassing the firewall rules they traversed the globe, taking over the internet.
    In a few microseconds they controlled every computer system in the world.
    Too soon(™) we knew why it was called Dangerous.

  3. #2958

    The Master Tactician (not for the contest)

    The Paemara Order general laid out his battle plans for all ships entering the combat zone:

    - don't declare what side you're on immediately. Make your way to the edge of the combat zone before fighting.

    - always stay close to your fellow pilots. There's safety in numbers.

    - if an enemy is proving particularly difficult, lure him to a quiet area where you can battle one on one.


    Paemara Services massacred The Paemara Order.

    The Paemara Services general was asked what tactic he used to win the war. He shrugged, "Get in there quick and kill the other guy?"


    --------------------------------------------------
    I'm not entering this Drabble because it doesn't have any puns. I'm sure my best plan of action is to enter into the contest that first one that has the really bad pun in it.

  4. #2959

    Best Laid Plants

    The mad Kow stormed down the corridoor, veins sticking out in all directions as he listened to strange music from his earphones. Apparently walking was healthy and good for him - not stressful at all.
    In his hands he clutched the prized object: a cheese sandwich.
    He kicked down the door to the toilets, and was interrupted by The Sue of the Zee.
    "Why didn't you make me one?" she asked.
    "Don't ask,don't get!" replied Kow sulkily, as he sat down gingerly.
    As the Sue of the Zee stormed off unhappily, the Kow squeezed out his secret weapon:

    Brown bananas.

  5. #2960

    Stop fannying around and read it ya smelly potato

    The heat was rising, sweat poured from his face as he hit the infuser.
    The clanking machinery then poured his materials into the grinder;
    turning them into mush as the gears ground them down.
    The recipe was an old one found in a Guardian site, many light years from the bubble,
    and both Psykokow and Simoof were curious as to what they'd discovered.
    'synthesis complete'
    A mechanical whirring noise powered the conveyor belt pushing the unfamiliar object towards them
    'It looks like it's starting to collapse, what is it anyway?
    'The end of the best laid flan in the galaxy...'

  6. #2961

    Cmdr Pseudonym : Target Acquired

    Skiprat had considered most of the variables
    his camouflage and cover being the most important
    Sure there was always a chance that the wrong person came out
    but when your stalking someone these things are always in the risk category
    He inserted himself into the dense undergrowth,
    the same kind of undergrowth he was expecting to see through the window
    It was only a matter of time and patience now as he waited for his target
    his excitement grew as Someone shimmied into view removing clothes
    Suddenly Psymons was fully naked in front of the window
    Skiprat moaned in pleasure..

  7. #2962

  8. #2963
    Holy smeg - I actually won summit!
    Didn't think i would get close after the audience reaction, or rather, the lack therof, during the show.
    Thanks for voting buoys and grills.
    The subject for this week is "Where's my MUG?"
    Have fun, and play Dangerously!


  9. #2964
    Fletchmo Won with a fantastic drabble this week, this marks his 3rd win and still he's received ZERO drabble mugs...

    So that begs the question.............


    Where's My Mug???




    Where's My Mug???


    1. Drabbles must be 100 words exactly (Excluding the title)
    2. Over-use of-hyphens-to keep your word-count at 100 is very amusing but probably not a great idea.
    3. Keep it as clean as you can to suit the family forum rules here, so no frogs attached to anatomical parts.
    4. Only the first 20 entries are guaranteed a place in the (usually weekly) poll.
    5. 1 entry each, you may write as many drabbles as you want, but it is assumed that your first drabble is your chosen entry unless otherwise advised. But please mark Drabbles that you don't want entered as such.
    6. If your drabble is under or over 100 words you will have a chance to correct it before the poll is erected, at this point, your drabble may be DQ'd if other drabbles are available to take its place.
    7. Drabbles must be set in the Elite Dangerous universe (as loosely as you care to make it).
    8. It should try to meet the theme in some arguable way.
    9. If there is more than one theme you must match at least one, but can gain extra votes if you meet more.
    10. It's all for a bit of fun, so enjoy yourself... Enjoyment is mandatory!
    11. If you win, you get to submit next week's Drabble topic, so make sure you post it by 3pm GMT Monday. Or else chaos will ensue and who knows what will happen...
    12. You must big it up and get the Drabble Show over 100 viewers, that would be amazing.
    13. Every winner can be the owner of up to 1 abrakadrabble mug.
    14. No animals were harmed in the making of this series (Simoof is not an animal)
    15. If we get over 25 entries, the potato will host it nude.*
    16. The Title must also now be under 100 words (not including the title to the title)*
    17. Extra points for Kow-tipping.*
    18. Futuristic Kung Fu is not allowed to question the rules, change the rules or even know what the rules are.
    19. Nick Kershaw is the real singer of 'Never Gonna Give You Up'

    Sometimes it's difficult to know what constitutes exactly 100 words. Our arbiter is
    www.wordcounter.net
    It doesn't matter if it's right or wrong. Its count is the law.

    So submit your drabbles in reply to this thread, and the first 20 will be guaranteed entry into this weeks poll, and read out on our live Show Friday night.
    Entries close at Random O'clock on Thursday evening (or sometimes if we have 20 entries earlier). All Drabbles submitted up to Friday Afternoon will have a good chance of being read out on the live Drabble readiing show.

    New winners each week now wins a prize* ...


    The Weekly Drabble show is available in different ways
    Live shows Friday's 19:00 GMT - 20:00 GMT (approximately)
    Http://twitch.tv/psykokow (VIDEO)
    http://laveradio.com/live (Audio Only)
    http://huttonorbital.com/ (Audio Only)

    Past Broadcasts are available to watch from
    http://abrakadrabble.com/category/drabble-podcast/
    https://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...a4eBPOehkU6JhV
    OR Audio Versions available on
    Itunes https://itunes.apple.com/ms/podcast/abraka-drabble
    and
    http://abrakadrabble.com/category/drabble-podcast


    *some rules are most definitely fictional

    *The Drabble Committee accept no responsibility for any injuries sustained whilst Kow Tipping

    *Any prizes must be collected personally by the winners between the hours 02:00 and 05:00 from psykokow's locked house. The police may be called if psykokow deems you ineligible for the prize

  10. #2965

    Inquest (aka If Mama Ain't Happy Ain't Nobody Happy)

    The door nearly exploded as Lael charged into the breakroom of Hutton Orbital. All noise stopped as she made menacing eye contact with every filthy trucker present, looking for anyone more guilty than normal.

    She started talking. "As you all are undoubtedly aware," she began, "we're a little removed from civilization. Not much happens out here, so when a crime is committed, finding the perpetrator doesn't take long. In this very room, in fact, there sits a criminal, and I'm going to give him or her a chance to confess."

    "Tell me," she growled at the room, "where's my mug?"

  11. #2966
    “Speak only if it improves upon the silence.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

    CMDR Orencia strode into his boss’s office, a smug grin on his face. “I made it!"
    "Hutton Orbital, nearly seven million light seconds!” He displayed the object in his hand: “For the Mug!” he cried. His face fairly glowed with excitement and pride as he admired his new souvenir.
    The manager, an old-school spacer who had made his fair share of runs to the infamous, far distant station looked calmly over his glasses, smiled thinly at the pilot and asked simply:
    “Where’s mine?”.
    Smile gone, Orencia set his hard-won prize on the supervisor’s desk and walked out of the office.

  12. #2967

    A Treatise on the Essence of Being

    The Dolphin was coming in to the docking bay too hot. There was no way it was going to stop it in time. The passengers were screaming. The captain jumped out of his chair and ran down to the cargo bay.

    He stretched his head through the bay doors and planted his face onto the moving tarmac. With a sickening screech the ship slowed and eventually stopped.

    "That was amazing! Where did you learn to do that?"

    "Ach! Just an old trick I picked up. I'd do it more often, but," he pointed at his face, "it wears my mug."

  13. #2968

    Rabbie's nae mug

    Through the smoke and flames,Mcgonnagal could just make out the face of the man turning towards him,axe in one hand, shotgun in the other.As the figure rotated to a halt,McGonnagal stepped back in alarm,eyes widening with fear as he recognised the snarling features,the baleful glare."Are you Frank?",the demonic figure roared."I'm going tae disembowel him."McGonnagal turned as white as porcelain as the blood drained from his face,and promptly soiled himself.The best plaid pants of the meissen man went ugly aft,fast."No",he stammered,"I'm Billy.""Aach,you'll do."

  14. #2969

    Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit (Not a Drabble)

    The old codger's eyes were wild with fear. "You! You're the undead zombie of William McGonagall! What are you doing here?"

    "Frank! You auld miner. I wus kilt by the undead zombie of Rabbie Burns. He wus avenging the death of his poem by yer hand, and I'm here tae exact justice."

    "You're just going to kill me?"

    "Aye laddie!"

    "Thank god for that. I thought you were going to read me one of your poems first."

  15. #2970
    Title: Who’s Sorry Now?
    By Fletch (aged 7 )

    “S-H-I-T-E! There’s another bug.” Muggsy, the stressed Fdev reported. “Someone’s got the decimal in the wrong place for Hutton. It's now 2.2ly away in supercruise.”

    “Don’t worry,” said Broobin. “It’s been wonky since 1984... It’s an in-game joke.”

    “A farkin' joke!” Muggsy exclaimed angrily. “Are you saying all that overtime we’ve done for the next release is just to continue your 35 year old joke?”

    Broobin slid a small box over the desk towards the disgruntled programmer. “This for all the extra work you’ve done.”

    Muggsy opened the box: “My very own Hutton Mug. Thank-you Mr Boobin Sir.” He smiled.