View Poll Results: Pick three of these stories

9. You may not vote on this poll
  • 01 - Listeri69 - How Do They Do That? : Thermal Paste Edition

    2 22.22%
  • 02 - phong - A humbling experience

    2 22.22%
  • 03 - RoyalHankey - The Ranking Up Ball

    2 22.22%
  • 04 - Spaceman83 - The winning drabble:

    3 33.33%
  • 05 - Galactic Midden - Mamma mia, here I go again

    3 33.33%
  • 06 - Frank - This is not a pun

    4 44.44%
  • 07 - cleonymus - Blue blood can really cause a mess in the bathroom

    2 22.22%
  • 08 - Cmrd Pseudonym - Ranking faster

    3 33.33%
  • 09 - Simoof - A short lived poopy victory

    2 22.22%
  • 10 - Alien - Yes Kow, You Have To Put Your Fingers In Your Mouth, Go On, Do It

    1 11.11%
  • 11 - psykokow - Out Of The Fire

    3 33.33%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Thread: Drabble Short Story Contest #217: Ranking up with style / Bling

  1. #1

    Drabble Short Story Contest #217: Ranking up with style / Bling

    This is a Drabble contest. Please vote for your favourite Drabble. Well done to RoyalHankey and phong and their most excellent stories.

    their choice was "Ranking up in style" and/or "Bling"

    Psykokow hosts the Abraka-Drabble live reading show and "comedy" hour at 7pm BST, Fridays on...
    HUTTON ORBITAL RADIO! (audio only)
    LAVE RADIO! (audio only)
    TWITCH! (audio & visual)
    and will also be uploaded to his You-tube channel & anywhere else he can inflict the world with our drabblings!

    Come back on Sunday night to see how well your Drabble has done. At least come back before Monday 15:00 to check if you're the one that has to provide us with a topic.

    Please vote. And a plea to all of the contestants, Don't vote for yourself.

    01 - Listeri69 - How Do They Do That? : Thermal Paste Edition

    Dongkum thermal paste isn't the most expensive rare in the galaxy, but it's uses are wide and many.
    Some say the slave milking practices are cruel,
    and battery farming slaves, force feeding them out of the sunlight, should be an illegal practice.
    The most converted premium paste however comes from Ranking Jobi-Bling slaves,
    gin is rubbed into their skin and they are fed only the finest snake producing a thick healthy extra cool paste which can take some vigorous ranking to produce.
    Bling slaves are raised free range from birth and each one fills a one pint jug a day.

    02 - phong - A humbling experience

    Morris Less tapped his mathematickeelasstoethon ever so gently and the tumbler dropped into place
    with a soft click.He breathed out quietly,only now becoming aware that he had been holding his
    breath,and the faint whirring of the device strapped to his wrist whirled and clicked in distant
    harmony/counterpoint as the shackles separated and fell open about him.He marvelled again at the
    bizarre technology that seemed to have fallen through the cracks of some oddly shaped parallel
    universe,fruits of an unexpected encounter with...oh,S'he'it.

    03 - RoyalHankey - The Ranking Up Ball

    This was an event where one commander gets a free rank gain in the Empire.
    <Fanfare sound>
    An announcement "All bow your heads" as King Hankey walks in.
    Everyone except Simoof bowed.
    King Hankey shouted "OFF WITH HIS HEAD"
    <Everyone Cheer>
    Simoof replied ".............................Wait a minute, wait a minute....... I'm not ready yet".
    The King then looked around and saw Winnard in a corner trying to hide.
    "WINNARD!!!!, This is a Ranking Up Ceremony not what your thinking, learn to read".
    King Hankey said "Nice Bling Psykokow, you got a great hairstyle, you will gain your rank when your computers fixed in 10 years ".

    04 - Spaceman83 - The winning drabble:

    Ranking up with the empire was a tedious task, no question about it. Apart from the regular buisness of transporting goods X to station Y, you also had to contend with the famed Imperial bureaucracy.

    "What do you mean you want me to transport Information? It's 3303 for goodness sake. Use the Interweb" Lenin groaned

    "That's not secure enough for our needs, sir" Faceless Imperial Drone #18 responded flatly.

    "So putting it in a box and giving it to the space hobo is better?"

    "And if you can get it there within 10 minutes there's another 200K credits for you"

    05 - Galactic Midden - Mamma mia, here I go again

    Bling looked at sidewinders the same way most adolescent young men looked at a provocative young mother moving in next door. Bling was known to be a bit odd.

    Serving aboard station with docking bay security, a position he'd had for over 15 years, he was now only trusted to "mind the sideys". Today he'd chosen to "mind" the yellow one. He beamed at the raging slick luminescence of it's undercarriage as he ran his exposed skin along it's hull. His palms sweated in excitement from within his overalls.

    He checked it's owner's ranking, even that brought up a smile.

    06 - Frank - This is not a pun

    As a reward to himself for ranking up, Jake had bought a gaudy gold paintjob for his T9. But the first time he took the newly decked out ship fuel scooping, the heat from the star caused the paint to blister.

    He took the ship to his local body shop. Shaky Bill explained "Well that's yer problem there... shoddy workmanship. Yer supposed ta gild the metalloy with real gold then apply a heat resistant nano-coating. The cowboy what painted yer ship used a cheap gold paint. It boilt in the heat of the star.

    All that blisters is not gold."

    07 - cleonymus - Blue blood can really cause a mess in the bathroom

    The design married ideas of style, innovation and practicality. The Imperial flagship builders had viewed it with avarice, excitement and amusement. They had immediately banned sales throughout empire space, which meant the design could be used in only one place, by one person.
    While this meant a huge one-off payment, it also stopped the even bigger profits from the open market.
    This resulted in a small change from the smooth round low temperature diamonds in the brochure to a much sharper design in the manufacturing plans.
    The newly invested Lord of the Latrine hoped the emperor enjoyed his new seat.

    08 - Cmrd Pseudonym - Ranking faster

    Cmdr Skiprat chewed on his dongkum branded Panamanian petting nuts,
    He'd been a little under the weather with Dongkum Diphtheria the last few days.
    Fortunately his romantic poem had found him getting together with Soo Doku, and she'd been looking after his every need these last few weeks.
    'you wan more panaman nut mr skippy?' she asked in a thick mandarin accent 'I can bling you many nut'
    Cmdr Skiprat coughed and blew his nose 'I was thinking of something a little more pleasurable' he said nasally
    'for you anyfin Mr skippy, you wan me rank you off in style?'

    09 - Simoof - A short lived poopy victory

    The little girl start wailing as her mother awkwardly shielded her eyes from the form known as Midden. He really was a misshapen hideous eye-sore of a gargantuan pile of dog excrement, with less charm.
    Hankey was excited.. last thing he'd won was a square medallion with some words, he had used his mouth to remove it from a funny tasting sausage.
    He was so excited that every time he took a step he let out a little peep.
    He stopped walking but the peeps didn't.
    He turned to see how far the trail went but slipped and actually died.

    10 - Alien - Yes Kow, You Have To Put Your Fingers In Your Mouth, Go On, Do It

    "Man Moo Mays Mopick Miz"

    Simoof interrupted "What are you doing?"

    Psykokow took his fingers out of his mouth "I'm reading Alien's drabble" He put his fingers back in his mouth
    "Moo Mays Mopick Miz Ranking Mup Min Mile"

    "You sound silly, do it properly"

    "My Mam Mooing Mit Mopperly ... Mister Mankey Mows Mooday's Mopick Man Mo Mid Mong Moo Mows Ming Mit Mon"

    Simoof had to interrupt a third time "It still sounds silly and besides Cmdr Pseudonym did this joke two drabbles ago"

    Just then Skiprat joined in "Ullo my saucy sausages, you're now at level two BLALALALALALALALALALALALALALA"

    11 - psykokow - Out Of The Fire

    Expectent he stood, gleaming pearlescence,
    Weighted by preciousness, stone and metal.
    Gun drawn and ready, a stance for the fighting
    He waited, with patience thinning and sharp.
    The other was shaken, and hurt, blood beading.
    In search of the prize, this pirate was seeking,
    Aware of the ticking clock of his ending
    And stalling, important, vital to stall.
    The darkness absorbed, a light pearcing deeply,
    The pirate surprised, light footedly fleeting,
    To ship where he launches, dogs to their fighting
    Explosions, ship destroyed, groundwards now slipping.
    The victim of one, would be victim of seating
    Under was crushed, rescuer beaten

  2. #2
    Aw,gremlins.Was looking forward to hearing kow's drabble rendered in perfect kow.

  3. #3
    Well done on a fine pun and a brilliant victory.Tough choice this week.Shame about the gremlins.Mr hankey's drabble says it all.

  4. #4
    Congratulations to Frank, I'm just wondering what happened to the people that entered drabbles but didn't vote.

  5. #5
    Thanks for all the votes. I suspect some of the people who take part in this contest are quite old, and sometimes they intend to vote but forget, or fall asleep.

    ...not that I know anything about that sort of thing. I'm merely speculating about likely causes.