View Poll Results: Pick three of these stories

Voters
9. You may not vote on this poll
  • 01 - Polygonal Spaceship - Post Well, Iím Not An Exo-ornith

    4 44.44%
  • 02 - Fletchmo - Tittle-Tattle

    0 0%
  • 03 - Galactic Midden - Love Letters Straight From Your Fart

    1 11.11%
  • 04 - Frank - Carry On Commander

    4 44.44%
  • 05 - Alien - A Rhyme About Boo Bees

    0 0%
  • 06 - psykokow - The Big Orbs

    1 11.11%
  • 07 - Simoof - Dr Hammond and the Temple of Your-a-sic Pork-

    1 11.11%
  • 08 - cleonymus - It's not a film

    4 44.44%
  • 09 - Listeri69 - Get them out for the lads....

    1 11.11%
  • 10 - Cmdr Pseudonym - A right pair

    2 22.22%
  • 11 - RoyalHankey - The Raiders of the lost potato planet.

    2 22.22%
  • 12 - insanephoton - Death from above

    5 55.56%
  • 13 - phong - Alright,just the one.

    1 11.11%
Multiple Choice Poll.
Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Drabble Short Story Contest #226: Boobies

  1. #1

    Drabble Short Story Contest #226: Boobies



    This is a Drabble contest. Please vote for your favourite Drabble. Simoof won the glory last week. Congratulations

    His choice was "Boobies"

    Psykokow hosts the Abraka-Drabble live reading show and "comedy" hour at 7pm BST, Fridays on...
    HUTTON ORBITAL RADIO! http://streaming.radionomy.com/HuttonOrbitalRadio (audio only)
    LAVE RADIO! http://laveradio.com/ (audio only)
    TWITCH! http://www.twitch.tv/psykokow/ (audio & visual)
    and will also be uploaded to his You-tube channel & anywhere else he can inflict the world with our drabblings!

    Come back on Sunday night to see how well your Drabble has done. At least come back before Monday 15:00 to check if you're the one that has to provide us with a topic.

    Please vote. Everyone is welcome to vote.
    And a plea to all of the contestants, Don't vote for yourself.
    Anyone caught voting for themselves will be boobied





    01 - Polygonal Spaceship - Well, I’m Not An Exo-ornithologist But They Look Like Boobies To Me...

    Bitter wind swept across the beach, carrying the cries of the blue-footed seabirds that skimmed above the waves, diving for fish. Carter, standing guard by the boarding ramp, appreciated his heavy parka. Hunkered down by the tideline, Grace held up a chunk of rock. "Check out the cleavage on this!"

    Carter squinted. "Gneiss, isn't it?"

    "Nah," replied Grace, tossing the rock away as she rose, "it's a load of old schist." A gust tugged her windbreaker open, revealing a too-tight, well-worn t-shirt that hugged, and accentuated, her figure. Its peeling, faded print read, 'CAUTION: Contents under pressure. DO NOT PUNCTURE!'.





    02 - Fletchmo - Tittle-Tattle

    In the 34th century, an age-old problem for female commanders has finally been solved by “Some Clever Git” inc.

    They have released a brassiere that guarantees support in all atmospheres, from zero-G to 6-G’s (7+ is not guaranteed for larger cup sizes).

    As an additional marketing feature, the new range of lingerie also includes a storage and playback device that can hold up to one petabyte of music data and comes with built in speakers.

    This is considered to be a major social breakthrough as ladies have always complained about men staring at their b(o)(o)bies and not listening to them!





    03 - Galactic Midden - Love Letters Straight From Your Fart

    Dismissed again for stuffing sausages inappropriately at the 'Get Stuffed' pork 'n' fowl factory, Simon and his less annoying colleague waited alone in the office.

    "I'm leaving the boss a love message from you" Eck scribbled a distinctly phallic shaped doodle on the boss' expensive calf leather desk protector.

    "Ya wee turd!" Simon slobbered, "here's a sweet message fae you" he said tapping 5318008 into the console and flipping the screen upside down.

    "YOU WANNA SEE A REAL TURD!?"

    Simon barely had time to register surprise as the boss forced his face down so hard tit left an impression behind.





    04 - Frank - Carry On Commander

    "Look at the [redacted] on that!"

    "I couldn't hear what you said because of the forum's swear filter. I just heard a birdsong sample instead. Could you not say something more family friendly, like 'boobies'?"

    "But that's a completely different type of bird."

    "All women should be treated equally, and you shouldn't refer to women as birds."

    The two gentlemen raised their hats to a passing pretty lady with a massive pair of jugs. She put down the milkjugs, looked down at her milk bottles that have had their silver foil caps pecked off by bluetits, and said "Oh [redacted]!"





    05 - Alien - A Rhyme About Boo Bees

    One upon a time in a lab, Dr Toxic was there
    The station was worried, klaxons did klax and sirens did blare

    Gurgle things gurgled and bubble things did bubble
    And I am sure whatever he was doing, it was going to be trouble

    Experiments on creatures, any he found
    Those poor animals, that happened to be around

    He made dogs that meowed and cats that did woof
    And pigs that did fart, just like our Simoof

    He made mice that went roar and snakes that did moo
    And he even made bees, you know, the ones that went boo





    06 - psykokow - The Big Orbs

    “And so Commander you can see why we need secrecy for this mission and why you will report to me directly keeping me abreast of your status at all times”
    “yessir”
    “DO you have any questions before you need to depart”
    “so this Alien race, has gone past the bronze age directly to the ‘Cleave’ Age?”
    “Indeed, it is fascinating, this is why we can ill afford any cultural contamination”
    “will I have any backup response assistance?”
    “A support B.R.A. will be on standby should you require extractions”
    “Brilliant, well off to Jordan’s Orbital I go”
    “Best Get at it”





    07 - Simoof - Dr Hammond and the Temple of Your-a-sic Pork-

    The geneticist was elated... finally... complete... perfect... DEADLY...!!
    The base creature, apis cerana indica; required for mobility
    Some psittacula krameria needed for articulation. And finally, alpheus bellulus , to add some oomf. It only took 2 days to fully train them.
    I was a few months before the ships started heading back in from the void with stories of ghosts and ghouls.


    One captain recalled: "I was sat alone, suddenly a booming voice bellowed "BOO!!" so loudly it made my ears bleed. I turned around: there was nobody there. Just blackness."


    The geneticist chortled, "Everyone will learn to fear my Boo-bees!!"





    08 - cleonymus - It's not a film

    Chesty Morgan coughed politely, to attract the attention of the room.
    The seated commanders all turned to see who would disturb a meeting of such import. Framed in the doorway, they could see the imposing figure of Morgan, two blasters held nonchalantly pointing their general direction.
    The chairman stood, pushing back his chair and spluttered "Who are you? Whats the meaning of this interruption?"
    Chesty had not been to the cinematic school of villainy, where plots are explained in detail so everyone knows what is going on. Instead she simply shot the chairman and then turned and shot the rest.





    09 - Listeri69 - Get them out for the lads....

    'Get them out then..' Psykokow pointed at Simoof
    'Hey I didn't get these for your pleasure' Simoof rebuked
    'Surely we can share the squishy tenderness' Psykokow went in for a squeeze.
    'Oi, get your filthy hands off. You can't go around squeezing what you want, you're not a 21st century president'
    'Do they smell good?'
    'Oh yes, but I prefer to shake them like this'
    'Right that's it either you get them out and let me chew on them or i'm dumping you out the airlock'
    'fine, fine here knock yourself out'
    'mmm can't beat a bit of blue cheese'





    10 - Cmdr Pseudonym - A right pair

    Cmdr Skiprat had just finished doing the spastic eagle. his arms were tired and his anus was bleeding.
    It paid well enough though
    It had been ages since Cmdr Skiprat had seen a real woman.
    most of the time it was BoobieDroid™ these days,
    and yes the auto motorboat function was a nice touch and the heated nipples,
    but nothing was quite the same as the real thing.
    He needed to get back into the dating game by putting an advert in the local paper

    Wanted pair of Titts for hands on position..

    Psykokow and Royal hankey applied at once..





    11 - RoyalHankey - The Raiders of the lost potato planet.

    Simoof and Psykokow went on a relic hunt.
    Simon said "Lets go this one".
    "No this one" Psykokow replied.
    "No lets go this one"
    After ten hours arguing and throwing things at each other they made their minds up.
    Yes you guessed it, it was the first one.
    They got in to their ship.
    Set of in Psykokow's pink orca.
    Waypoint, waypoint, scoop, waypoint, waypoint scoop, waypoint, waypoint scoop
    Waypoint, waypoint, scoop, waypoint, waypoint scoop, waypoint, waypoint scoop
    Then they had a countdown warning.
    Simoof said "Whats that"
    Psykokow said "Ops, I forgot to turn off the ships boobie trap.....................BANG





    12 - insanephoton - Death from above

    Felicia unzipped her forensic coverall. The taut fabric accentuated her curves as she peeled off the coverall.
    'So Flic, what have you got for us today?' asked Chief Inspector McCallan
    ' It's a strange one, boss. It looks like the victim triggered some kind of release mechanism that dumped a container on him'
    'What was in the container?'
    ' That's the weird thing, it was full of birds'
    'What kind of birds?'
    ' I don't know, some kind of seabirds, maybe gannets?
    McCallan checked the manifest and smiled 'Not quite gannets but something very close. Our victim was killed by a booby trap'





    13 - phong - Alright,just the one.

    The commander gazed at his latest accquisition.It hung in pride of place in the lavish stateroom of his otherwise somewhat austere though still impressive ship,soft lit from above against the velvet background of the stars beyond.He knew the red rope was un-neccesary,but this piece of old earth's history was for him precious beyond credits,and for as long as he'd been captivated by it he'd associated it with a sense of awe demanding some kind of barrier between it and the real world.The woman smiled ,the squirming child already reaching out for it's next meal.




  2. #2
    Am I going bananas, or did I just hear Dame Maggie Smith reading a drabble!?

    (Mental show. But at least I'm not the only person who remembers The Krankies!)

  3. #3
    Originally Posted by Polygonal Spaceship View Post (Source)
    Am I going bananas, or did I just hear Dame Maggie Smith reading a drabble!?

    (Mental show. But at least I'm not the only person who remembers The Krankies!)
    Which drabble?

  4. #4
    Video is uploading, the audio version is up on itunes and our RSS feed
    Itunes:
    https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/...013195760?mt=2
    RSS:
    http://feeds.feedburner.com/AbrakaDrabble
    Audio:

    http://abrakadrabble.com/shows/171117Drabbles.mp3


    Video: (may be processing for a while)

  5. #5
    Originally Posted by Alien View Post (Source)
    Which drabble?
    Think it was Kow's own entry.

    A bonkers, incredibly fun show to listen to. And I've learned a few things for next week...

    1. Don't use a post icon when posting a drabble. Kow will add the word "post" to your title.
    2. I really need to set up an account on that "twitchy" thing. Only discovered it after an hour or so on Lave Radio. The video, and the chat (the zoo?), adds a lot!
    3. Absolutely must nag my ISP ASAP - my connection has been horrendous lately, and dropped out right in the middle of the words game.
    4. Avoid unusual pronunciations or technical terms. The "gneiss" (pronounced 'nice')/"schist" pun was a victim of that, but it was a joke only a geologist could love.


    But definitely a fun way to spend a couple of hours on Friday night. Some of the writing really comes alive

  6. #6
    Originally Posted by Polygonal Spaceship View Post (Source)
    Think it was Kow's own entry.

    A bonkers, incredibly fun show to listen to. And I've learned a few things for next week...

    1. Don't use a post icon when posting a drabble. Kow will add the word "post" to your title.
    2. I really need to set up an account on that "twitchy" thing. Only discovered it after an hour or so on Lave Radio. The video, and the chat (the zoo?), adds a lot!
    3. Absolutely must nag my ISP ASAP - my connection has been horrendous lately, and dropped out right in the middle of the words game.
    4. Avoid unusual pronunciations or technical terms. The "gneiss" (pronounced 'nice')/"schist" pun was a victim of that, but it was a joke only a geologist could love.


    But definitely a fun way to spend a couple of hours on Friday night. Some of the writing really comes alive
    Absolutely use unusual pronunciations and technical terms. Half the joke is trying to get Kow to mess up trying to say words. We did go through a phase of making Kow say ever increasingly complicated words, and to be fair to Kow, he did quite well with nearly all of them. Go back and watch the shows "Tongue Twisters" and "Technobabble" they are very funny shows.

  7. #7
    Originally Posted by Polygonal Spaceship View Post (Source)
    Think it was Kow's own entry.

    A bonkers, incredibly fun show to listen to. And I've learned a few things for next week...

    1. Don't use a post icon when posting a drabble. Kow will add the word "post" to your title.
    Mea culpa. I fixed the main text but I can't do anything about the poll options. Look on the bright side. There's are chance you could garner a few sympathy votes over my muck-up

  8. #8
    Originally Posted by Frank View Post (Source)
    Mea culpa. I fixed the main text but I can't do anything about the poll options. Look on the bright side. There's are chance you could garner a few sympathy votes over my muck-up
    No worries, Frank - happens to us all, and my tongue was firmly in cheek writing that list. And apologies for assuming it was Kow's fault

  9. #9
    Yes. On the rare occasion that someone else manages to mess up you should really recognise their lack of effort. Kow messing up is default, Frank messing up is exceptional. Midden smells.

  10. #10
    Originally Posted by Simoof View Post (Source)
    Yes. On the rare occasion that someone else manages to mess up you should really recognise their lack of effort. Kow messing up is default, Frank messing up is exceptional. Midden smells.
    I'm exceptional at messing up? Thank you.

    And also congrats to insanephoton. What's the new topic?

  11. #11
    Well done Insanephoton,wherever you be.New theme,please.

  12. #12
    I demand a recount. What's that you say, I won? I demand a recount...

    Okay, I've had some time to think about it and the topic this week will be 'Moon'

  13. #13
    Originally Posted by Simoof View Post (Source)
    Midden smells.
    Oi, HOW DARE YOU! I'll have you know I have a very enduring aroma.