View Poll Results: Vote for your favourite THREE (not four) drabbles

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  • 01 - RoyalHankey - Skiprat's Toy Shop

    4 44.44%
  • 02 - Phong - Don' t leave home without them.

    2 22.22%
  • 03 - Spaceman83 - The Kinky Krusty Krinkle time:

    1 11.11%
  • 04 - Psykokow - Jones & The Key To Eternal Life

    1 11.11%
  • 05 - Edith The Hutt - Information Security: Silent hardware in an age of Shouty Men

    4 44.44%
  • 06 - Frank - A Man's (Title was too long)

    4 44.44%
  • 07 - Spacebababy - Intergalactic Bright Young Thing Has Finally Come of Age

    2 22.22%
  • 08 - Simoof - Broken Back - Flappy Fart Flaps

    5 55.56%
  • 09 - Listeri69 - Mummy? Where do Simoofs come from???

    3 33.33%
  • 10 - Alien - Sven's Strange Sojurn

    1 11.11%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Thread: Drabble Short Story Contest #231: Kinky

  1. #1

    Drabble Short Story Contest #231: Kinky



    Who let Winnard win again! ... well at least Midden didn't win.

    Psykokow hosts the Abraka-Drabble live reading show and "comedy" hour (usually at 7pm), Fridays on...
    HUTTON ORBITAL RADIO! http://streaming.radionomy.com/HuttonOrbitalRadio (audio only)
    LAVE RADIO! http://laveradio.com/ (audio only)
    TWITCH! http://www.twitch.tv/psykokow/ (audio & visual)
    and will also be uploaded to his You-tube channel & anywhere else he can inflict the world with our drabblings!

    Come back on Sunday night to see how well your Drabble has done. At least come back before Monday 15:00 to check if you're the one that has to provide us with a topic.

    Please vote. Everyone is welcome to vote.
    And a plea to all of the contestants, Don't vote for yourself.
    Anyone caught voting for themselves shall be forced to give everything up for 2018




    01 - RoyalHankey - Skiprat's Toy Shop

    Alien went into Skiprat's Mysterious Toy Shop.
    Out came Skiprat saying "Can I help you Sir".
    "I'M A FEMALE YOU PLONKER!!!!".
    "Sorry Sir, sorry Madam, how can I help you".
    Alien replied "I need something to give me a break from the Kids".
    "I think I got the answer Ms, I just go fetch you them".
    After a minute or two he came back and gave Alien handcuffs.
    "HANDCUFF MY KIDS, WHAT YOU THINK I AM"..
    "You came to this shop didn't you".
    Alien replied "It says toy shop doesn't it?????".
    "It does indeed, but it's a Sex Toy Shop".




    02 - Phong - Don' t leave home without them.

    Kathy and Kevin sat in the cockpit of their brand new type 10,'Plugging the Gap',savouring the comfort of their freshly upholstered seats.After sixty years of dockwork Kevin had finally persuaded Kathy to take a year off from her job as station announcer, so they could go travelling,giving her free rein on interior design.Only the pink fluffy bobble dice hanging from the upper fascia betrayed their humble origins.The concourse observation deck was crowded with friends and well wishers,as they set off on their maiden voyage.
    Kevin mimed the traditional gesture of facepalm as he intoned the ritual 'Forgot my f*#!kin keys'




    03 - Spaceman83 - The Kinky Krusty Krinkle time:

    It was the day after new-years, and the celebration was dying down. Simoof and Skiprat were having some quality alone time.


    Whilst spanking Skiprat's crinkly bottom simoof frowned. The impact seemed even softer than last time, and there was that particular odour of decomposing Dongkum Sausage and spesh brew that was outlawed by the Geneva convention ten years ago.


    "Is someone being a little stinky-poo?" Simoof wondered. "Of course I'm stinky you colossal git" Skiprat answered. "I've gone and soiled myself. Now you go and sort this out post-haste or I'm gonna give you a Hitler Mustache and Simba combo"




    04 - Psykokow - Jones & The Key To Eternal Life

    The key gripped tightly in his hand, sweat dripping from his forehead, spittal spraying with each breath.
    His heart pounding hard as his feet slammed the ground in quick repetition.
    ‘Big Mistake’ he breathlessly muttered.
    A spear flew past his right ear increasing his pace. Ahead his ship and crew mate lazily pottering about.
    He didn’t have enough breath to shout a warning.
    A searing pain filled his body, and again. The tip of a spear appearing from his chest suddenly.
    He fell.
    A tribal elder stood above him tutting “only the next relative in line can hold the key”




    05 - Edith The Hutt - Information Security: Silent hardware in an age of Shouty Men

    34th century hacking is code-based. Algorithms are simple but systems are too complex; upgrade all you want, not only do the hackers know your software's weaknesses, they're one update ahead already.

    Or at least that's what they want you to think.

    Fibre-optics need total internal reflection to transmit data securely, a kink at the right angle without breaking the fibre will undermine the totality very slightly, allowing you to read the data unobserved.

    Aisha opened the panel and examined the Coriolis' high-response optical fibre. She gasped:

    “Wow, the aft sensor feed is kink-free. Are we sure this is Winnard's Hole?”




    06 - Frank - A Man's Got to Do What a Man's Got to Do

    Ken burst into Sid's berth and was astonished to see Sid dressing in women's clothing. He was even wearing those fancy Imperial G-spenders which hold up stockings and hold down skirts in microgravity, but the look wasn't too appetising over his hairy wrinkly thighs.

    Ken tried to compose himself. There was a more important issue to deal with. "The Ship is breached! We've hit an iceteroid. Erm, I take it you didn't know?"

    Sid's shocked expression on his make-up caked face only changed to guilt when the Tannoy announced "THIS IS NOT A DRILL! ABANDON SHIP! WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST!"




    07 - Spacebababy - Intergalactic Bright Young Thing Has Finally Come of Age

    Spacesuited and booted,
    Are Kid from Lanchester's Folly
    AKA Intergalactic Bright Young Thing himself
    Son of Dex Dynasty, Arcturian Ants (yes those hoopy froods)
    On the tarmac... ready for his first take off
    O Imperial Eagle, the Ford Cortina of 3303.

    How do you start this dinkin' thing?
    Finally, IBYT plucks up the courage to pull the shiny silver lever
    Ship stays still but the toilet flushes.

    So off he shoots, looking for teenage kicks on Eroticon Six
    But alas, the cruelty:
    Alien condom machines can equip no man.

    Back home you go
    IBYT
    Are Virgin Kid from Lanchester's Folly.




    08 - Simoof - Broken Back - Flappy Fart Flaps

    The slot had been totally destroyed.
    "Looks like someone tried to fly a cutter in sideways"
    "Fortunately no innocents where harmed."
    "Can it be repaired? A lot of people use it."
    "We can probably make it even better than before."
    "How long before it's back up and running again?"
    "Depends, but you just know HE will try to use it before it's ready."
    Overhearing, the station manager stormed in...
    "WHAT THE has happened? I've no report of any crash landings!"
    "Oh the station is fine. This is Middens ar$e we are talking about. He broke it with kinky sex stuff."




    09 - Listeri69 - Mummy? Where do Simoofs come from???

    Midden surveyed the devastation.
    Sure his bottom did look like he'd had sex with an elephant, and, he'd let it finger him first.
    But surely his kinky perversions were his own business.
    Even if he had been described as, 'like flicking an atom into Sagittarius A*'
    and it was sort of true he was like the Formidine Rift, in that more people had entered than exited over the years
    But he was Galatic Midden and no doctor was telling him when he could and couldn't visit Uranus
    Well at least he couldn't get pregnant...

    9 months later Simoof was born




    10 - Alien - Sven's Strange Sojurn

    "It's a wicked vile place, you must not go to, lest all your sins never be forgiven!"
    Sven was intrigued as the stranger handed him a thin cylindrical item. It had some funny notches on it, but Sven didn't think anything of it. "You are my brother" he'd said,

    Sven made his way to the address supplied.

    Six weeks later, Sven emerged. He was exhausted, tired and malnourished. The debauchery had not stopped from the moment he had stepped foot inside. Every desire he could have longed for had been done to him.

    He looked at the item "Kin Key"



  2. #2


    Audio will be on itunes...eventually !!!

  3. #3
    It's a miracle!!!!! Thank you everybody.
    "The Songs of War" tis what I'd like to see.

  4. #4
    Well done,Simoof.Your tale of mr midden's bottom dollar was obviously well researched.