View Poll Results: No multiple voting this week

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  • 01 - Simoof - Kows Pants - kow smells.

    0 0%
  • 02 - phong - Plaguey Rythms

    0 0%
  • 03 - Galactic Midden - Message in a Bog

    2 100.00%
  • 04 - Frank - The Machine of a Dream.

    0 0%
  • 05 - Listeri69 - Help I've Contract

    0 0%
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Thread: Drabble Short Story Contest - #263: A letter to psykokow the agony aunt

  1. #1

    Drabble Short Story Contest - #263: A letter to psykokow the agony aunt

    I won. Thanks for the votes. The topic for the week is in the title

    01 - Simoof - Kows Pants - kow smells. But not as much as Midden

    All these fancy pancy ships with special bits here and there and here's me stuck in the first ship I ever saved up for. It looks good and it does the same it always has done.
    All these youngsters are out there with these engineered gizmoids they've drawn attention to space bugs.
    Space bugs and pirates! Scum.
    So the extra heat from that stupid neutron highway pish caused my special decoy cargo to explode.
    So now my ship smells more than Kows pilots seat on a hot summers day.
    How do I remove a smell from my eyeballs? It burns.

    02 - phong - Plaguey Rythms

    'Plague yer eyes and blast yer nipplenuts' muttered the pirate engineer,ripping a nut from the stripped thread,to an accompanying squeal of feedback.'The speakers warbled.'You might at least have shut me down before you started repairs.It doesn't help that i can see the violation you are committing upon me in great detail.'He chuckled'I voided that warranty a long time ago.Hello,what's this?'He tugged and withdrew a small wedge of paper.'Hey,don't read that.Its private!Personal correspondance!'Ignoring the protestations of outrage,he unfolded the soiled missive and began to read.

    03 - Galactic Midden - Message in a Bogroll

    Auntie Kow read the odd missive that had just excreted out of her pink fluffy receiver. "How do I remove a smell from my eyeballs? It burns."

    "Weirdos! Why do I attract them like flies to a turd?", she quickly checked the "On Air" light was still off. "I used to advise the Emperor, now I get imbeciles".

    Scrunching up the printed excretion she threw it into her extremely rare floating Lavian-grubb bag. The preserved bloat sac gave a happy chirp.

    Switching live she crooned, "Aunties signing off now. Nothing but trash in the garbage disposal, fly safe my lovelies".

    04 - Frank - The Machine of a Dream. Such a Clean Machine

    Dear Psykokow,

    I got a new heat dispersion plate through the mail from Hera Tani the other day. She did an excellent job of wraggling the spigot. I managed to fit it in myself with just an 'R' spreader.

    My girlfriend is getting annoyed at all the money I'm spending. She says it's either her or the Krait.

    Please tell me what should I do? I was thinking of a new split nose from the ship kit, or should I go for one of those fancy spoilers? They say the spoilers are cosmetic but all the Buckyball racers have them.

    05 - Listeri69 - Help I've Contracted A Word of the Week!!!

    Dear Kowdrie

    I have been having a little trouble with my little trouble after I spent a week in dongkum
    having took all the necessary precautions with electroplating and hermetically sealing my knob,
    I still managed to contract what can only be described as Dongkum Dysentery.
    Now I've had a case of the ole squiteroos before now as food poisoning is rife in any McThargoid,
    I felt the grumbling echo deep inside,
    Yes I had to shuffle to the bathroom from the knees down but shooting poop out of trouble? How can I get rid of this rampant syndrome?

  2. #2


    Well done Mr.Midden.An overwhelming turnout and a unanimous decision.

  3. #3
    Originally Posted by phong View Post (Source)
    Well done Mr.Midden.An overwhelming turnout and a unanimous decision.
    Why thank you. There's no counting for taste, at least not including bad taste. I can't believe anyone voted for that drabble, nevermind everyone!

  4. #4

    There can be only one.

    wrong frikn place to post this

  5. #5
    If there can be only one then I reckon I'm going to quickeningly decapitate you first