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Thread: Is it possible to be trolled by inanimate objects?

  1. #16
    The DMV where someone nearly crashed into me at the parking lot and someone getting upset that I love tapped his car with my door due to the narrow parking.

  2. #17
    Originally Posted by Stigbob View Post (Source)
    There's a ladle in my kitchen drawer trolls me all the time, when it teams up with the manual rotary whisk things just get silly.
    That is Anoia.

    Goddess of Things That Get Stuck in Drawers, a minor goddess on the Discworld.

  3. #18
    Originally Posted by AJW View Post (Source)
    Interesting objects, lighters. Would seem to disprove my theory that objects either get lost, or break down, but not both.
    I suspect however that there are actually two different kinds, each of which adopts the strategy which is the most bothersome. Cheap disposable lighters lose themselves, since it is extremely annoying to know you have a working lighter somewhere or other, if only you could find it. Expensive lighters, which you are more likely to keep firmly in sight, break down. Often temporarily, since they know you won't throw them away. They then wait until you've got yourself another cheap disposable, before inexplicably restoring functionality as soon as they aren't needed. And as soon as you've been restored to your comfort zone the disposable lighter disappears, and the expensive one stops working again. This isn't just sentience. Or malice. It is cooperative inter-species behaviour, of the sort usually observed in the smartest of animals. And lighters have even been observed cooperating with their natural competitor, the box of matches.
    They are clearly ganging up on us...
    I have a thing about lighters. I find them and I save them from ending up in the tip. I repair them and keep them going for years. But only one at a time. They keep intruding in my life. I once watched a man set up a lighter repair stall on his bicycle seat in Havana. He was replacing the flints in disposable lighters.

  4. #19
    Originally Posted by SMcA View Post (Source)
    That is Anoia.

    Goddess of Things That Get Stuck in Drawers, a minor goddess on the Discworld.
    Terry Pratchett was a genius.

  5. #20
    Originally Posted by Stigbob View Post (Source)
    Terry Pratchett was a genius.
    I listen to his audio books, in the black.

  6. #21
    Teaspoons have a life of their own https://www.newscientist.com/letter/...-teaspoons-go/

    Pens are another thing, although that is often down to pen thieves
    http://www.notesinbottle.com/pens.htm

  7. #22
    Originally Posted by SMcA View Post (Source)
    I listen to his audio books, in the black.
    Ditto, but also HP Lovecraft.

  8. #23
    Here a good audio book Who goes there the story the Thing was based on.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcn9Z0xrQhA

  9. #24
    Originally Posted by verminstar View Post (Source)
    My whole house used to troll me...Im a big 6ft 5 inches and when if I was wearing boots, the top of my head would catch on the upper doorframes if I was in a hurry and momentarily forgot to duck slightly...knocked meself out cold a few times and this was back in the day when I had some...anger issues...

    Forget the gym and the biking, gimme a sledgehammer and a few walls that need to be re educated...ye thats good fer anger issues but no, the house trolled me again when I got tore into a supporting wall one morning and by lunchtime Id managed to make sure the house was unsafe fer human habitation.

    In the end I had to have a half tonne steel brace set into the place where my back kitchen wall used to be. It was houses plan all along...what a way to get a far more expensive facelift when the original plan was a few nips and tucks here and there to make the doorways higher.
    +1 for giving a good laugh!
    I see some of me in these vengeful bursts.

    But I'm much smaller & keep my sledgehammer in the toolshed, so far my tally is lots of bruised knuckles & couple of replaced cupboard and bedroom doors & plaster badges on the walls.

  10. #25
    Originally Posted by Zieman View Post (Source)
    +1 for giving a good laugh!
    I see some of me in these vengeful bursts.

    But I'm much smaller & keep my sledgehammer in the toolshed, so far my tally is lots of bruised knuckles & couple of replaced cupboard and bedroom doors & plaster badges on the walls.
    I keep a heavyweight crowbar handy to threaten my house.
    It's...well actually I can't find it again.

  11. #26
    Update: My chair comitted suicide today, it stabbed itself 30 times and threw itself off a bridge. I was real broken up about it. Side note: my new chair and I are getting along famously.

  12. #27
    Originally Posted by Demascus View Post (Source)
    Update: My chair comitted suicide today, it stabbed itself 30 times and threw itself off a bridge. I was real broken up about it. Side note: my new chair and I are getting along famously.
    Show it a photo of your ex-chair to ensure years of gaming happiness.

  13. #28
    Ye talk to yer chair?

    Wow...and I thought I was weird cos I only talk to meself...but talking to yer chair? Yer not sharing my cell ye can bunk up with Harry...hes the one sitting in the corner rocking and chewing the curtains ^

    Edit...ok so there was that time when my doctor changed my pain meds and gave me lyrica instead of gabapentin...oh man ye wanna see what happens to yer brain when ye double up the dosage, cant believe this is actually legal cos its stronger than some class A stuff and 100% legal. I may have had an in depth discussion with my cat about not trying to get into the fish tank, and that was before lunchtime...

    My doctor trolled me cos he said there wouldnt be any side effects...he lied...there were major life altering side effects. Shows ye how much doctors think they know, they not happy killing my wife now they trying to kill me too ^

  14. #29
    Thanks, I enjoyed that.

  15. #30
    Originally Posted by verminstar View Post (Source)

    My doctor trolled me cos he said there wouldnt be any side effects...he lied...there were major life altering side effects. Shows ye how much doctors think they know, they not happy killing my wife now they trying to kill me too ^
    Ha ha ha : "No side effects from Lyrica" !
    That is some class A trolling right there! Of course it sort of counts, as the pills are technically inanimate, right?

    I remember being trolled by a scalpel during an amputation.
    I was holding up the leg with both hands, for the operator to get down to the bone. He rested the knife on the fat belly, and reached back to get the saw. Well the bloodstained scalpel began to tilt slowly, and then slide gradually off, picking up speed, towards me. That never ends well, and you can't really dodge while holding the leg up.

    It fell off the table, and I used one hand to reflexively catch it below eye level. It made a chuk sound, and everybody in the theatre froze.
    "Let me see" said the chief, with trepidation.

    I reluctantly held up the impaled gloved hand, which had been crucified. The handle stuck out at right angles.