View Poll Results: vote for the hottest three Drabbles

Voters
24. You may not vote on this poll
  • 01 - rootsrat - Misadvertising

    4 16.67%
  • 02 - Philip Coutts - The Old Switcharoo

    5 20.83%
  • 03 - KalRyper - A clean act

    9 37.50%
  • 04 - Ian Phillips - One Canister of illegal goods

    3 12.50%
  • 05 - Majere - Dirty Rotten Smugglers

    5 20.83%
  • 06 - T.j - Hope

    6 25.00%
  • 07 - Bikky - It's sooooo easssAAAHHHH

    1 4.17%
  • 08 - Goose4291 - Inspection

    2 8.33%
  • 09 - azdour - Desperate times call for desperate measures

    4 16.67%
  • 10 - Frank - The Sharp Eyed Policeman

    5 20.83%
  • 11 - Erik Marcaigh - The Nest

    3 12.50%
  • 12 - Winterwalker - Keep Your Friends Close

    3 12.50%
  • 13 - Bleke - Outside and inside jobs

    4 16.67%
  • 14 - psykokow - Smug? Like the Dragon?

    2 8.33%
  • 15 - W4rSkuLL - An artist's struggle

    2 8.33%
  • 16 - Splendour - Sardines in a whale

    2 8.33%
  • 17 - MrMogadon - Nobody Said Dopey was Daft

    2 8.33%
  • 18 - Galactic midden - Vengeance

    2 8.33%
  • 19 - @_JustinPinner - Crash Drabbling

    4 16.67%
  • 20 - Darkoba - There's that Asian pilot again.

    2 8.33%
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Thread: Drabble Story Contest: Smugglers

  1. #1

    Drabble Story Contest: Smugglers

    Good day to you Sir! No, I have nothing to declare and my visit to your fine planet is for pleasure. I say pleasure but I'm visiting relatives <hee hee hee>... Yes I am a little large around my middle but that's what Christmas does to you... What? You want me to lift my jersey? Okay you got me. Taped around my midriff are twenty of the highest grade Drabbles... Yes some of them do contain puns, but if you just use a small number of puns to be sociable then they shouldn't cause any long term damage... Okay, yeah I did sample one or two earlier and they did give me a bit of a headache.

    Welcome to the 86th weekly Drabble contest. Below me is a massive pile of fantastic stories all set in the Elite Universe, and all of them about SMUGGLING, the subject picked by last week's clear winner Philip Coutts.

    Above me is a bunch of options in a poll. It's a multiple choice poll but please limit yourself to only the three votes. The results of the poll will be announced on Monday morning. Not only will the winner receive this wonderful imaginary crown, they will win the honour of deciding next week's topic.

    Anyone voting for themselves will be shoved someplace so dark only a customs officer with a set of rubber gloves will be able to retrieve them.

    A great choice of subject, but I'm wondering why they called me a mule even before they wrapped these Drabbles around me.

    AUDIO READING http://thargoidandfer-de-lance.co.uk...ugglers-audio/
    direct mp3 : http://thargoidandfer-de-lance.co.uk...es23012015.mp3
    Video :





    01 - rootsrat - Misadvertising

    Gordon was excited to see over fifty replies to his job advert. He started glancing over the CVs to fish out the best ones.


    "Million credits in a single run."
    "Never fined!"
    "Connections within Federal security services."
    "Cloaking technology installed."


    Gordon was confused. None of the CVs fitted the job he'd posted. He opened GalNet and searched for the advert. It was his son's birthday and he'd already hired clowns and acrobats. All he needed now were a few jugglers to keep the kids entertained during the party.


    He opened the advert and froze... SMUGGLERS?! Damn this forced autocorrect system!



    02 - Philip Coutts - The Old Switcharoo

    Sweat beaded my forehead. I looked up through my cockpit and I could almost reach up and touch the underside of the T9. I was flying as close as possible to fool the security scan into thinking there was only one ship.
    .
    “Scan detected” hissed the Captain of the T9.
    .
    I fired my thrusters and heaved at the controls, time to get out of here.
    .
    The Vipers broke off scanning the T9 and made a beeline for my hauler. I boosted, desperate to hyperspace out of the system to safety.
    .
    Meanwhile the T9 glided serenely into dock laden with Onionhead……..



    03 - KalRyper - A clean act

    Cockpit speakers crackled before announcing, "You are fined eighty thousand credits for detection of alcohol - illegal on this station."
    Calmly, Karen responded, "Negative control. Probably crystallized vapours on my hull. You just blasted someone moments before I entered.”
    Static filled the pause, then, "You are subject to an immediate search."

    After a fruitless inspection and a rescinded fine, Karen’s ship received a free hull wash.

    She nodded to the poorly attired technicians lurking nearby.
    "Okay boys, unload the missile racks - champagne corks just don't have the range."

    A smug Lars handed over the money.
    “Clever girl,” he said.



    04 - Ian Phillips - One Canister of illegal goods

    The canisters full of slaves were stood up in the warehouse after being unloaded from a hauler. Nine of them, all in a row. A tenth canister stood apart, marked for another buyer. The slaves handlers were busy extracting the slaves after their journey, lining them up along a wall for counting and processing.

    One of them glanced over at the pilot who was waiting for his cargo manifest to be confirmed. Pointing at the single canister he asked "Whats in that?"

    "Battle Weapons" said the pilot activating the release mechanism.
    Ninety federation marines swarmed the slavers and armed themselves.



    05 - Majere - Dirty Rotten Smugglers

    “Greetings Commander, not seen you in ages. Docking permission granted, pad 24, welcome back to Lave”
    He shifted uncomfortably in his seat
    “Thanks control. Deep space… ggnngh
    He arched his back and grimaced.
    “Commencing scan…. All clear Commander, have a nice day”
    Urgghh, you too, nnnnngh
    “You ok Commander?”
    “A bit space sick, I’m fine, huh-huh-hnnngh
    Upon landing he made a rapid exit to the “Golden Grub” saloon and shut himself into a cubicle.
    After much wailing he emerged triumphant with an egg-shaped object and approached the bartender.
    “We’re gonna be rich!” he beamed.
    “You might have cleaned it first!”



    06 - T.j - Hope

    Breaths held straining to hear the voices just outside the door.

    "Scans indicated there are one hundred lifeforms on this ship, they in here?"

    A hollow clang echoed through the chamber.

    "NO! Your scanner's faulty!"

    "Smuggling Slaves is illegal in Federal space." The voice was level and calm.

    The containers door opened, light suddenly blinded them, jumping together their shackles rattled as hope flooded their hearts.

    'Freedom' the collective thought reverberated in unison.

    "Well, what do we have here?"

    His arm raised... The laser-pistol staccato fire continued until it wasn't needed.

    The officer spoke dispassionate.

    "Saves on paperwork this way."



    07 - Bikky - It's sooooo easssAAAHHHH

    “This is easy.” John chirped to Janice. “The cops are imbeciles, all you need to do is sit, wait, silence and boost.”

    “Go on then, you show me how this thing works.” Janice replied,

    “Right, sit back and be awed.” John stated. He started to turn off his modules. “Dropping the heat signature.” He states. Then Requests docking. Upon pad assignment he hits full throttle. Lining up with the slot he hits boost and turns off assist. “Coming in fast.” he’s grinning stupidly. “No we go cold.” And shuts the heat vents.

    “ARRGHHH, A TYPE NIIINNNEEE” they both cried out.



    08 - Goose4291 - Inspection

    Oligirio's flight of four Gladius class fighters had wrenched their target from Super-cruise within minutes of it entering the Achenar System. Now, two of those fighters flanked Limitanei Quintus' Customs and Excise Cutter as it closed with the interdicted craft.
    Quintus casually looked over the display and reviewed the targets manifesto before opening a comms channel.
    "Independent trader Peckham's Mogul, this is the Imperial cutter Mercury. Heave to in accordance with Imperial mandate."
    What happened next was predictable, and the yellow Hauler began to accelerate away.
    As the two Gladius' deployed their weapon hardpoints, Quintus pondered the intelligence of smugglers.



    09 - azdour - Desperate times call for desperate measures

    The stations security vessels picked up a ship at full acceleration, heading towards them.

    The speeding ships system picked up the security scan, but the pilot knew he had to enter the letterbox at full speed.

    Not to avoid the security scan. No.

    He had to avoid anyone visually spotting the tied up person in the chair next to him and work out he was borrowing the ship.

    The scan revealed no violations or illegal cargo just as it entered the letterbox. Safety.

    What he was smuggling in was himself. In time for a rendezvous with the station commanders daughter...



    10 - Frank - The Sharp Eyed Policeman

    Psykokow let Sergeant Sharpe onto the ship.

    "Good afternoon gentlemen. Welcome to Barnard's Star. This is a routine spot check."

    Sharpe eyed the pilots suspiciously as he opened a canister.

    Psykokow was about to speak when Listeri69 interrupted "David Brooben gets through a lot of mugs. These ones are more aerodynamic to fly straighter"

    Both looked nervous as the sergeant pulled out the first layer of mugs. The gig was up when he pulled out the second layer. He trained his blaster at them yelling to his constables "There's Onionhead underneath the third layer of mugs. They're just mug layers!"



    11 - Erik Marcaigh - The Nest

    Three hours later, Rose grew tired of waiting as Seamus worked inside and used her scope to pick out various targets, making "pew! pew!" sounds as she went. The cat, the fern, the ugly statue.

    Movement at the front door caught her eye and she watched the interaction between Seamus and Counselor Hargathen. Hargathen signed off on the repair bill and Seamus made his way back to the truck. He touched his jaw and spoke softly, "The nest is open."

    Rose scoped in on Seamus, "and what do we have here? A pretty budgie. I'll be making you sing tonight!"



    12 - Winterwalker - Keep Your Friends Close

    Glowing in deep moonrise, two Cobras face one other teeth bared.

    At last in ballet of you-show-me-yours, first offensive now defensive groups deactivate. In unison, each to power down.

    A deal strikes! Onion Head's the game but, splitting risk one hatch opens. A tonne floats free, scooped by diversionary partner. In one motion hyperspace, an approach to Lave.

    Ship Scan Detected.
    Surprising MANY cops? Too late, a pigeon, realises.

    "A tonne of Braben's jumpers, nicked my son. Smuggler!"

    Seen cruising by, the Courier wing dips, thanks. As one, a Cobra now impounded.
    Two, a meat sack taken in, for 're-education'.



    13 - Bleke - Outside and inside jobs

    [SKLANG]

    "There it was again! What are they doing?"

    "I'm not sure, ambassador. Probably trying to hit us with cargo hatch disruptors."

    "Ridiculous! This is a luxury yacht, we don't have a cargo hold!"

    "Yes. Must be an amateur pirate. Skilled pilot though. Nigh impossible to hit."

    ----

    "Ah, there you are Charlie! We were attacked by some asinine pirates on our way here. Assess and repair any damage, will you."

    "Right away sir!"

    Charles had most of his team replace panels with cosmetic damage at the front while he and a few accomplices removed magnetic cargo canisters from the belly.



    14 - psykokow - Smug? Like the Dragon?

    Smug? The smile was so wide on his face it was possibly the definition of smug.
    10,000 credits a tonne, what a price… almost full retail. Just for a couple of canisters he found floating around in space.
    Yeah sure there was ship scanning to evade, and a slightly faster than usual docking sequence to get the ship down as quickly as possible.
    Then there was having to find the right man on the station to make a deal with…
    But with a fist full of 32,000 credits sheer profit… he was justified in being the little smuggling he was.



    15 - W4rSkuLL - An artist's struggle

    He remembered her eyes and the love she had given him.
    The brush which painted her beautiful face to the canvas, his steady hands as he tried to
    make the finest art he had ever created. It seemed a picture to much.
    The Asp shook when he pressed down the trigger and six multi cannons tore through the hull of the Adder.
    A purple spray of colors as the pirates in the canopy exploded into cold space.
    She was with him, a piece of rare art to die for. Together they would smuggle her home from the terror of Komovoy.



    16 - Splendour - Sardines in a whale

    The Orca ‘Cornucopia’ slid serenely though the station entrance, eager faces pressed against the windows staring at the palm trees of the vast spaceport.
    The hundred passengers the cruise liner was licensed to carry were quick to disembark, eager to sample the wonders of Vonarburg.

    Four hours on, after the shift change at station security, a hundred passengers disembarked from the Cornucopia.

    “Told you they wouldn’t keep track of passengers coming back.” the Cornucopia’s first mate told the Captain with satisfaction.

    Three days later, the last of the refugees smuggled ashore, the Cornucopia lifted and headed back towards war-torn Eranin.



    17 - MrMogadon - Nobody Said Dopey was Daft

    The alarm clock buzzed exuberantly until Dopey’s mag-boot ended its brief working life.

    Why Bashful, even accounting for all the Janxx slammers, had chosen him rather than one of the others: all hard-muscled miners, still escaped him.
    An astronavigation specialist, with a 200 IQ, such beauties normally avoided him.

    Suddenly anxious that this was some joke, he stretched to retrieve his gear from his jacket, planning to relax in his own special way.

    Bashful stirred. “Cold!!” she complained, burying herself deeper under the covers and pulling him back towards her. “You’re the best snuggler ever”, she purred.

    He stopped worrying.



    18 - Galactic midden - Vengeance

    Slipping past the guards I leave danger and Malum's chamber behind; my 'gift' successfully smuggled under voracious eyes.

    Believing it a tithe from a family defeated, she'd beamed, lusting to "play with her twelve divines". Her depravity disgusted me! Anger boils within, "such arrogance not to fear retribution, well taste real corruption you heinous murderer!"

    Ignoring her shuttle pilot's death rattles I manoeuvre my trophy away.

    Aroused and naked, singing before her, the cloned divines undulate gracefully in tune with Malum's song. My doomsday signal triggers... the clones embrace, bare flesh coupling as new genetic bonds begin their nuclear cascade.



    19 - @_JustinPinner - Crash Drabbling

    Gravity sucks. Well technically it attracts. Main motors offline, feds saw to that. Attitude thrusters hanging in there.

    Red hot. Plasma blackout. Controls dead. Too steep. She’s screaming. No, that’s me.

    Why did I scoop that brandy? Not stolen. Found!

    Vibrations bullying every rivet. Eyes sting, can’t see.

    Abrupt silence. Blue sky. Clouds. Plummeting. Meteoric.

    Maybe it’ll be okay. Hull plating. Pretty sure that was important.

    Flaring hard. Low altitude. Sirens. Warnings.

    Impact. An 800lb gorilla jumps on me. Crushing.

    Darkness. Cooling creaks and ticks. Dust.

    "Hello? Galactic Line Insurance? I need to make a claim. Oh, and an ambulance."



    20 - Darkoba - There's that Asian pilot again.

    The Cobra settled onto the cradle at Barnard's. The hatch opened and the Asian pilot, resplendent in the latest fashion, stepped out, looked around haughtily and nodded to the dockworkers before striding off towards the Thargoid-and-Fer-de-Lance.

    "Mr. Ling! Welcome back. The usual?" Sven fawned uncharacteristically, knowing his tip would be generous...

    Back in the bay, the workers emptied the hold, detouring several "special" canisters, finding the expected and promised reward for their discretion.

    "Who is that pilot, anyway?" asked the new guy, "and where does he get that attitude?"

    "Don't ask! He's a very successful, er, 'trader'. That's smug Ling."

  2. #2
    So many great Drabbles! I'll try and make time tomorrow to read them and pick my three, cuz if I don't vote by tomorrow, I won't have time to vote at all!

  3. #3
    Probably the toughest choice yet, some really great drabbles this week. I have a feeling this will be a close one, good luck everyone.

  4. #4
    ...isn't sure what's going on. Moderator T.j's Avatar
    Fantastic list this week.

    Good luck everyone.

  5. #5
    I had to read, re-read, re-re-read and read again. Finally, to make a decision, I had to throw darts at my monitor!

    Note: To clear up any claims of plagiarism, I would like to state that I hadn't registered "smug Lars" in my consciousness before I introduced "smug Ling" - honest!

    Now all I have to do is repair the holes in the screen and hope that the system keeps chuntering on until the final results are in.

    Good luck everyone.

  6. #6
    There must have been a few of us that were a bit disappointed to see "smug Lars" snapped up. I did feel it would be one of those "birds of a feather" puns. I rushed home after work to see if it was still available. I was even thinking about flinging together a placeholder Drabble to stake my claim on it, but I was too late

  7. #7
    An excellent turnout this week with a full compliment of drabbles (20 in total), and already 6 votes cast.

    This is definitely going to take some time to come up with my favourite three.

  8. #8
    ...isn't sure what's going on. Moderator T.j's Avatar
    Cast my votes and it was a tough choice as well.

    Yay just noticed I've got my sympathy vote.

    Well chuffed.

  9. #9
    grrr this isn't meant to be up till tonight!!!! Pesky extra days voting!!!!

    Live READING tomorrow at 7pm, will be some 'special' surprises

  10. #10
    So nice to see Kow, Frank and Darkoba keeping up the good work on corny punch lines.

  11. #11
    Originally Posted by Bikky View Post (Source)
    So nice to see Kow, Frank and Darkoba keeping up the good work on corny punch lines.
    Corny???

    Strokes of genius, surely?

    Well, two of them, anyway.

  12. #12
    ...isn't sure what's going on. Moderator T.j's Avatar
    Originally Posted by Darkoba View Post (Source)
    Strokes of genius, surely?
    Quick call a Doctor, he's flipped.

  13. #13
    Great drabbles by all. Very tough to choose from.
    Really looking forward to the Ja'Kow'nory story telling.

  14. #14
    Wonderful stuff!

    Linked to from




    https://forums.frontier.co.uk/showth...931&highlight=

    Edit - i'll put them in a spoiler tag and add to contributors once the poll is done. Wish I could give rep to the writers from the opening post.

    Maybe in your next Drabble?

  15. #15
    What a brilliant collection - well done to everyone who posted.

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