View Poll Results: Pick your favourite three (3) drabbles!

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  • 01 - CdrTwisted - Ah, what the hell. It's not as though any mods read this thread

    2 8.70%
  • 02 - Simoof - WANTED AND FOUND

    2 8.70%
  • 03 - psykokow - Can't quite put my finger on it...

    12 52.17%
  • 04 - DocStone - It's a Dirty Job

    3 13.04%
  • 05 - Ian Phillips - Graffiti

    3 13.04%
  • 06 - Listeri69 - Shifting the cargo

    3 13.04%
  • 07 - MrMogadon - Winnard's Hole: A Reflective Summary Extract

    5 21.74%
  • 08 - Erik Marcaigh - On the Run

    3 13.04%
  • 09 - Micky - Station Stay feedback ~ Ensign Long

    2 8.70%
  • 10 - Frank - False Grit

    2 8.70%
  • 11 - paauggie - Pigs In Space

    2 8.70%
  • 12 - Galactic Midden - Cold War Shenanigans

    2 8.70%
  • 13 - insanephoton - Money Shot

    4 17.39%
  • 14 - Telakin - Parting gift

    5 21.74%
  • 15 - Darren Grey - Knowing the Lingo

    8 34.78%
  • 16 - Philip Coutts - Death

    2 8.70%
  • 17 - Splendour - Bizare Bazzar

    3 13.04%
  • 18 - T.j - Unholy

    2 8.70%
  • 19 - Darkoba - YADA (Yet Another Device Acronymic)

    2 8.70%
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Thread: Drabble Story Contest: "What I Found in Winnard's Hole" - *Vote for your 3 favourites*

  1. #1

    Drabble Story Contest: "What I Found in Winnard's Hole" - *Vote for your 3 favourites*

    This I believe is actually Drabble contest 90! That's right we are just 10 away from having seen 100 weeks x 100 words x... well however many have played on average. Anyway, back to this week's topic, and boy what a topic. It was one of those ones that had mothers screaming in panic, children crying in the streets, and fathers gesticulating wildly shouting blue murder.

    "Why was that?" I hear you ask, well that was because our topic "What I Found in Winnard's Hole" was set by last week's winner Mr Simon Winnard, writer and genius/depraved mind behind Dockers, the Elite Dangerous mockshockfest available out there on T'internet. It's bloomin great!

    Our wonderful drabblers have done their upmost to turn the topic into something innocent, full of sweetness and you know unicorns, bunnies etc. All drabbles must be 100 words and we just need you to vote for your favourite 3 drabbles. The winner will be revealed on Sunday night and on Monday they have the grand honour of selecting next weeks topic, whilst wearing the honoured drabble crown of course... that's the one made of old toilet rolls (seems fitting this week for some reason)



    Oh, and no voting for yourself now or you'll be forced to live out your days locked inside Mr Winnard's mind!

    Audio Version Here
    VIDEO




    01 - CdrTwisted - Ah, what the hell. It's not as though any mods read this thread

    "Hey, guess what I found in Winnard's Hole."

    "Diso Ma Sweetcorn?"

    "No. Guess again."

    "Lakota hot dog?"

    "No."

    "My Fudgetunnel CD?"

    "What? No."

    "A toothbrush?"

    "Seriously, what? NO! Come on, it's not hard."

    "Oh... Er... Mashed banana?"

    "No, for pity's sake. I meant it's not hard TO GUESS."

    "Right. So it *could* be hard."

    "Yes!" [Pause.] "No! You're such a--"

    "Peanuts?"

    "No."

    "Peanutsies?"

    "No."

    "Pipecleaners?"

    "No!"

    "Asteroids?"

    "No."

    "Preparation H?"

    "No."

    "A meat popsicle?"

    "No. Give up?"

    "Okay."

    "Thank heavens... Here... Ta-daaaaa!"

    "Omigodomigodomigod - you FOUND them!"

    "Yep! One tonne of Hershey's Chocolate Starfish."

    [Together] "'How many licks does it take?'"



    02 - Simoof - WANTED AND FOUND

    Commander Fuxsup woke excitedly in his cockpit. "Carpe Diem." he whispered.

    The notorious Bhas, more commonly known as "The Fur King", had been tracked to Winnards Hole. Mr Tarrd had placed a huge bounty on his own son: a smuggler of exotic but illegal animal skins.

    Fuxsup eyed the smugglers ship on the opposite pad intently but a loud knock on his door startled him.

    He stepped out of his ship straight in to the cuffs of the burly security detail.

    About to protest, Fuxsup glanced back at his newly leather clad Asp.

    The Fur King Bhas Tarrd was good.



    03 - psykokow - Can't quite put my finger on it...

    The air conditioning added a musk to the room that heightened the tension.
    “You need to relax Commander, this will go a lot quicker if you relax”
    “I didn’t do nothing wrong!! This is a complete violation of my liberties”
    “I am sorry you feel this way, and you can always appeal after we finish this search”
    The customs officer grimaced
    “So far, we have Lucan Onion head, Wolf Meat, and two slaves… is there anything else you may have forgotten to declare?”
    “No Officer” the commander pleaded.
    A sickening schlurpy pop sound echoed throughout the ship..
    “And a trumble…”



    04 - DocStone - It's a Dirty Job

    I’ve had better days. Much better days.

    10 hours ago a prospector misjudged his flight path and spread himself and his ship all over the entrance to Winnard’s Hole. 186 tons of molten Bhutan Alloy had spilled, coagulating into giant, glistening nuggets of metal that stuck fast to the wiry mess that was left of the toast rack, totally blocking the letterbox.

    Two guesses who got the clean-up job? Yep, good ol’ Wirebrush, that’s who. Me and my trusty weld-bot D-TOL.

    S’pose I better get to it.

    If Wirebrush and D-TOL can’t get rid of these Bhut Nuggets, nothing will.



    05 - Ian Phillips - Graffiti

    The trainees were delivered to their assigned work point by frosted stealth ships under the noses of the security vessels.

    Special space suits with compensating mini jets, offsetting the effects of Newton's third law, helped them stay in the correct position whilst working.

    "This is what I found in Winnard's Hole", The special forces director said to his aide. "That this station is the complete bunghole of all creation, and I'm letting everyone know!"

    One by one the painters finished their assigned sections, together creating a vast picture of a puckered anus around the stations entrance.

    "Welcome to Winnard's Hole"



    06 - Listeri69 - Shifting the cargo

    The dockers were shifting the cargo around in the large dock in Winnard's hole.

    A large type 9 had entered the bay and the cargo was taking some moving.

    'Whale oil....Beef hooked' Said Sheamus moving the cargo along the rack.

    'This is only the Alpha bay too' Said Kenny.

    'looks like we could be here for some time' Sheamus mopped his brow.

    'We've still got to move all this pilots furniture too' Kenny moaned.

    Suddenly the mood soured,

    'Alpha....Kenny...Body' Sheamus stammered pointing into the bay

    'Sofa king hard' Kenny replied, nervously gesturing at the dead pilots body



    07 - MrMogadon - Winnard's Hole: A Reflective Summary Extract

    I felt nervous about plunging into Winnard's Hole.
    I needn't have worried. The passage was eased with a deft, practiced hand and soon I was in.

    Alphabetically arranged, I headed to my hotel, Rim, at the R's end of the station.
    Humping a couple of old bags, I unloaded in a messy pile on my bed, before showering.

    Leaving for an exhibition on Ying weaving by local artisan Metutch, I noticed many fine examples of Chinese porcelain in the hotel.

    Indeed the memories of the exquisite Rim Ming and Metutch Ying cloth will stay with me for years to come!



    08 - Erik Marcaigh - On the Run

    They'd lifted off, Seamus and Rose picking their next destination, Leesti, as a place to do some shopping.

    Kalran was scanning GalNet when images surrounding Counselor Hargathen's death came up. Recognizing Seamus in a repairman's uniform from a security camera feed, he sent a message to the GalCop fleet.

    Reaching him a bit too slow, Seamus knocked Kalran out cold. "Rose, we've a problem. Tie 'im up. GalCop's on an intercept course. They'll ream us good."

    "There's only one place dirty enough to take us in now. Plot a course for Lakota. We're visiting Simon in Winnard's Hole," said Rose.



    09 - Micky - Station Stay feedback ~ Ensign Long

    "Waking in Willard's Hole chambers brutally impaled me with the fear of Immediate death." Says Ensign Long.

    "Cold twisted winds raged, bitterly clawing at the door like a mass of frenzied zombies, bitting into every inch of my failing body.

    The walls, a blackened matte of blood and stale gut, and a guy next to me who started scraping the wall, mindlessly, with the protruding bone of his broken forearm.

    Rats had ate his lower limbs whilst fighting over a bag of Onion Head.

    I SURVIVED A FEDERAL NAVY STAG DO!!!! Buddy Spike!!! Willard's Hole, find the cheapest Liquor around."



    10 - Frank - False Grit

    She pointed at the system map, "There!"

    "I'll drop ya off at Shawn Zaman. They have transports to Winnard's Hole."

    "That wasn't the deal! Why won't you just take me yourself? Are you Chicken?"

    Jake puffed himself out "Kid, I been called many things. Chicken ain't one of them. I taken on a group of slave trader Anacondas with just this here rust bucket. I wuz firin' off dumbfires left an' right with mah flightyoke between mah teeth!

    Winnard's Hole's a dangerous hell hole but, I ain't scared o' nowhere, just... if you go there ya might meet... Simon Winnard"



    11 - paauggie - Pigs In Space

    “Stop yah complaining laddie, this is nothing!” screamed Captain Dougal. “You should try navigating Kruger’s passage in a prison barge surrounded by nothing but hard men tossing on the deck”.

    Perkins’ whimpering began to subside. Life on the Light Utility Vehicle ‘Truncheon’ was never easy, but this was a whole new low. The ion core had blown, bathing them in purple light. The rivets strained to hold the hull together; the ship pulsed in time with the waves of energy released.

    Perkins cried with relief as, finding safety at last, the throbbing purple LUV Truncheon thrust triumphantly into Winnard’s Hole



    12 - Galactic Midden - Cold War Shenanigans

    "Will it grow back?" asked Daisy, nonchalantly pocketing the switchblade within her duffle coat.
    Originally instructed to delve into 'The Hole' and discover Winnard's mysteries she was having to fabricate another accident to avoid detection.

    "What do you mean will it grow back!?" Dr Strangelove gurgled "it's my chin!"

    Daisy sighed, she'd forgotten to 'flick before slash' and instead of a decapitation she'd created a human flip top lozenge dispenser.

    "Maybe this will soothe it?" she purred shoving her furry muffler down his bloody throat.

    Daisy activated her comm pin "sorry command, please don't be mad but Strangelove's gone cold".



    13 - insanephoton - Money Shot

    Grant's Anaconda 'Bigboy' was loaded with dairy products
    Simone gave him permission to dock and purred seductively "Come inside Bigboy we want your cream"
    Grant expertly thrust his Anaconda through the slot to enter Winnard's Hole.
    The ship shuddered as the docking clamps grasped it tightly.
    "How much do you want? Cos I've got plenty"
    "Give it to me Bigboy, give me all of it" Simone gasped huskily.
    "Okay, you asked for it"
    Simone squealed with delight as the Anaconda began to deposit it's creamy load into Winnard's Hole.
    Grant smiled. This could be the start of a lucrative contract.



    14 - Telakin - Parting gift

    The rigged cargo container had been left stuck in the hole's toaster rack by the fleeing sidewinder.

    The manifest display blinks.

    "Dear Simon! This is what you get for not keeping up with your corporate security fees.".
    Signed by "The Lakota Power Exchange"

    And a counter.

    "10"
    "Everyone out of the loading area, I'll deal with it"
    Commotion, while Simon scans the connecting wires.

    "9"
    Which one is the trigger - red or blue?

    "8"
    "7"
    "6"
    Damn fine print, it had looked like such a sweet deal.

    "5"
    "3"
    "What the ... ?"

    "Just kidding!"
    "2"
    "1"
    Red?

    "No."
    Back to stardust.



    15 - Darren Grey - Knowing the Lingo

    Richard went straight to the seedy underside of Winnard's Hole after docking. He needed a thorough unwind after his hauling, and this dirthole was known for markets where credits will buy anything. You just had to know the lingo...

    'I'm looking to, uh, shoot through some heavy shields, if you get me.'

    'Sure thing, mista! We please you good. You wanna hefty piece, eh?'

    'Ooh yeah, something hard. Top class stuff.'

    'We got just what you need...'

    Ten minutes later Richard emerged the unsatisfied new owner of a rail gun. All he'd wanted was a nice bit of bum sex.



    16 - Philip Coutts - Death

    “Winnards Hole, a name to conjure with.” Mused the Captain
    “Maybe someone didn’t like the place or was Winnard a person?” asked Bob.
    “No idea Bob but if I had a credit for every school boy s that Winnards Hole has caused I’d be a very rich man.”
    “Is it nice here?” Asked Bob.
    “No” He replied tersely lining up on the entrance.
    It was about then he remembered the unpaid fine for smuggling, which also sadly coincided with the security scan, which in turn led to the stations defences opening fire.
    What they found at Winnards Hole, was death



    17 - Splendour - Bizare Bazzar

    Anything and everything an Asp can unload
    Is sold at the marketplace in Winnards Hole

    For curios it is renowned
    No port in space can match
    The width and breadth of junk and tat
    Beyond that landing hatch

    What was found in Winnards Hole?
    A parcel tied with string?
    A grand Imperial footbath?
    An Orca landing spring?

    Perhaps a Thargoid hull fragment,
    A prize from that great war?
    A signed 3D of Susan Boils?
    A frame shift drive power core?

    My great find at Winnards Hole
    Was not in that bazzar,
    A vintage Lavian Brandy
    Was found behind the bar.



    18 - T.j - Unholy

    As he circled the rim, the incredible suction was literally tearing his repair machine apart.

    Struggling fruitlessly to resist the portals dreaded embrace, the gaping horrendous maw tried to drag anything close into it's terrible depths.

    The power spluttered a final death rattle just before the inevitable happened.

    He bravely managed to finish the job.

    Suddenly a unholy power wrenched it free. It was lost forever in the abyss of Winnard's hole.

    "Well Mr Winnard, the operation seems successful. Plenty of rest, this rubber ring may help"

    Thanks Doc" Winnard replied, "I'll finally be able to ride my bike again."



    19 - Darkoba - YADA (Yet Another Device Acronymic)

    The boffins had designed a device for miners, to aid with exploration for new sources of ore. The designs were complete, the various components and systems ready. It was time for final construction and testing of the wireless, intelligent navigation and automatic robot device.

    "Attach robotics to propulsion chassis."
    "Completed."

    "Plug intelligence and navigation systems to automatic robot frame."
    "Done."

    "Mount wireless receiver and test reception."
    "Done, and working."

    "Start system test."

    "Intelligence and Navigation systems booted. Automatic propulsion and Robotics optimal."

    "The wireless, intelligent, navigating, automatic robot device is complete and fully functional?"

    "That is correct sir. WINNARD's whole."


    If you suffer adverse affects whilst reading these drabbles, please seek medical attention immediately

  2. #2
    Join me tonight at 7pm for the LIVE readings,

    You can be part of it too if you want to join us in the Abraka Drabble room on the Lave Radio Teamspeak (laveradio.teamspeak3.com), you can read out your own drabble, or just pass comments.
    Also you can watch it live http://twitch.tv/psykokow
    Or tune in live if you listen to Lave Radio Community Station at http://laveradio.com/lave-radio-live/

    I will of course put the link to the audio podcast and youtube video here shortly afterwards (ie as soon as I can).

    I am strangely looking forward to this show tonight... and I hope you can join us there...

  3. #3
    Sir T.j is offline
    ...isn't sure what's going on.
    Volunteer Moderator Sir T.j's Avatar
    Originally Posted by psykokow View Post (Source)
    Join me tonight at 7pm for the LIVE readings,

    You can be part of it too if you want to join us in the Abraka Drabble room on the Lave Radio Teamspeak (laveradio.teamspeak3.com), you can read out your own drabble, or just pass comments.
    Also you can watch it live http://twitch.tv/psykokow
    Or tune in live if you listen to Lave Radio Community Station at http://laveradio.com/lave-radio-live/

    I will of course put the link to the audio podcast and youtube video here shortly afterwards (ie as soon as I can).

    I am strangely looking forward to this show tonight... and I hope you can join us there...
    I suspect tis could be teh reading to end all readings.

  4. #4
    Only 19 deposits?
    The last one must be stuck in the Winnard's Hole exit, waiting for a good push to help it get through the hole.
    (Credit for the image goes to Moozipan)
    Commander Reighdar One man. One ship. One galaxy.

  5. #5
    Deary me there are some people writing drabbles with questionable morals, taste and punnage. My eyes hurt after that lot

  6. #6
    Originally Posted by Ian Phillips View Post (Source)
    Only 19 deposits?
    The last one must be stuck in the Winnard's Hole exit, waiting for a good push to help it get through the hole.
    Yep, that was mine. Got it out now. Sorry about that.

  7. #7
    Originally Posted by Bleke View Post (Source)
    Yep, that was mine. Got it out now. Sorry about that.
    Let's hand the SFX over to a proper Foley artist. We need a sound for Bleke's drabble introduction/birthing to the world that sounds like this line from 'Kow's drabble:

    "A sickening schlurpy pop sound echoed throughout the ship.."

  8. #8
    Sir T.j is offline
    ...isn't sure what's going on.
    Volunteer Moderator Sir T.j's Avatar
    Can't wait to watch the readings tonight, it's going to be a special one.

  9. #9
    It has come to my attention that 'Kow does not mention Winnard or his Hole at any point during his otherwise excellent Drabble, and as such the scene he so vividly paints could have happened at any station, or in fact involved any orifice. I move that it be struck from the voting and in the interests of fairness his votes be given to any other competitor that happens to have a username that rhymes with "MockBone". It is with a heavy heart I demand this drastic action, however it is for the sanctity of the competition and the well-being of the Drabble Community as a whole (see what I did thar?) that I feel this is the only way to atone for his dastardly deed.

    I would also like to point out before the naysayers and rule deniers arrive that it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact he has ALL THE VOTEZ AND IS GOING TO BE THE WINNZORZ!!!!!!! Nothing at all.

    Yours, in fairness,

    DocStone (rhymes with MockBone)

  10. #10
    Sorry, Doc. I think we're all voting for another crazy topic instead of on actual writing skill.

  11. #11
    Originally Posted by Erik Marcaigh View Post (Source)
    Sorry, Doc. I think we're all voting for another crazy topic instead of on actual writing skill.
    But...but...butt (and this has nothing to do with the fact he is going to be the winzorz) HE IS GOING TO BE THE WINZORZ!!!

    That gives the sads......

  12. #12
    Magic, I love a bit of controversy! From the rulz:
    .
    3. Drabbles must meet the theme set by the previous weeks winner
    .
    The question before us is does The Holy 'Kows drabble meet the theme set by the previous winner or should he be sent to the airlock?
    .
    Edit: Perhaps at this stage I should be honest and say I voted for it because I like it and think it's the best Drabble this week

  13. #13
    All I want is that honesty, truth and justice prevail. And his votes. I mainly want his votes. I made the first bit up. Screw honesty, justice and truth. GIMME HIS VOTEZ!!!!!!


  14. #14
    Originally Posted by DocStone View Post (Source)
    All I want is that honesty, truth and justice prevail. And his votes. I mainly want his votes. I made the first bit up. Screw honesty, justice and truth. GIMME HIS VOTEZ!!!!!!

    See your Emperors fist in your signature, it looks a bit like Homer Simpsons hand...

  15. #15
    Sir T.j is offline
    ...isn't sure what's going on.
    Volunteer Moderator Sir T.j's Avatar
    Originally Posted by DocStone View Post (Source)
    All I want is that honesty, truth and justice prevail. And his votes. I mainly want his votes. I made the first bit up. Screw honesty, justice and truth. GIMME HIS VOTEZ!!!!!!

    Hmmmmmm if only someone would report it as off topic....









    (joke)

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