View Poll Results: There are 3 correct ways to kill a Simoof, which are they?

Voters
16. You may not vote on this poll
  • 01 - Poor Simoof - The needs of the many...

    3 18.75%
  • 02 - Edith_The_Hutt - Wrong time, wrong place

    1 6.25%
  • 03 - CdrTwisted - Shear murder

    1 6.25%
  • 04 - Alien - "A View To A Kill"

    1 6.25%
  • 05 - Frank - Morale Boost

    4 25.00%
  • 06 - Psykokow - 'Excellent'

    4 25.00%
  • 07 - MrMogadon - Title by Way of a Synopsis

    5 31.25%
  • 08 - Listeri69 - The BeeTrees - Celebrate........

    1 6.25%
  • 09 - Naughty DogBone! - It's the way I tell 'em!

    1 6.25%
  • 10 - Galactic Midden - Sorry (I truly am)

    9 56.25%
  • 11 - Missileman - requiescat in pieces

    1 6.25%
  • 12 - Roybe - Jacobson And The Moose Basking

    3 18.75%
  • 13 - Ian Phillips - The truth about how Simoof died.

    3 18.75%
  • 14 - Erik Marcaigh - I Call Them Drabblettes (aka Five for the Price of One)

    7 43.75%
  • 15 - Clef_Hanger - Whoopee!

    1 6.25%
  • 16 - insanephoton - Sweet Taboo (or Tammy's revenge)

    1 6.25%
Multiple Choice Poll.
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 27

Thread: Drabble Contest #107: "...and that's when they killed Simoof!"

  1. #1

    Cool Drabble Contest #107: "...and that's when they killed Simoof!"



    Welcome to the 107th Drabble contest. Wow, the weeks are flying by! Below you'll find some delightful stories all (some) of which are the correct 100 words in length and all (some) of which are outstanding in quality. There are also some of questionable taste and you may wish to avert your eyes when reading them, ahem! Now on with the show.

    Our topic this week as set by Dobgone our wonderful winner from last week is "...and that's when they killed Simoof!" Little is known about what caused the lover's tiff between these two but fickle are the drabble bunch who at a whiff of mischief were quick to share the bandwagon.

    So what do you have to do? Simply vote for your favourite three drabbles excluding your own. You can choose to vote now or wait until after the Friday 7pm UK time livestream on www.twitch.tv/psykokow where the drabbles are read to an audience of hundreds (potentially).

    Voting is free, and it's fun, and when you click the vote now button your heart will swell to bursting point at the thought of the happiness you are spreading at the expense of poor old Simoof




    01 - Poor Simoof - The needs of the many...

    "For Thargoids..." screamed the station manager Phuqu. "2 hours it took to get clearance to dock in my own station! 2 hours!"
    "We can't handle the volume of visitors. Not since we were voted the sexiest station in the universe" replied the control-room manager.
    "Meeting room now! Bring EVERYBODY!!" demanded Phuqu.
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    "If we invited DocStone, that would certainly help reduce our sexiness"
    "Nope. That would mean we would have to look at him ourselves, We need a more permanent solution anyway"
    The room sighed with relief.
    After some deliberation Phuqu pondered ".. need to remove a large chunk of our sexiness..."




    02 - Edith_The_Hutt - Wrong time, wrong place

    Throughout human space entire stations paused to watch as mourners in the High Cathedral on Achernar marked the passing of a great man.

    Aisling Duval, flanked by her fellow imperial leaders intoned the traditional rite; there could be no rivalries today, only grief.

    "Words cannot express our pain at the passing of our beloved Emperor, Hengist Duval. Let us instead reflect in silence on his reign."

    A loud, wet fart destroyed the silence, echoing throughout the ancient stone hall.

    Thousands of shocked, angry eyes turned to a single grinning commander, clutching his sound box in the middle of the crowd...




    03 - CdrTwisted - Shear murder

    George Lucas turned its attention to the Cobra docked in bay 17.

    The ship looked strangely familiar. George Lucas cleared a server to analyse this development.

    The loading bot's microphone kept cutting out.

    "... two sheep and a long, thick plastic..."

    George Lucas switched to camera two and booted up its lip-reader.

    "...grab a fistful of wool and get started, he said. Well, if..."

    The loading bot trundled in front of camera two, obscuring the image.

    "... quite normal on Eroticon Six apparently..."

    George Lucas redefined the word 'irritation' in seventeen languages on its word-processing platform.

    "...and that's when they killed Simoof."




    04 - Alien - "A View To A Kill"

    I see Simoof, with a view to a kill
    His drabble aces, makes me hate this, win he will
    Writer's block is on me, you don't know the stuff I'm writing
    Kow oversees, You agree, this week's well open wide
    Potatokow why?, a Mr Tree aching my sides
    The ink's not dry


    But still we drabble until we tire, Kow's fatal kiss we don't need
    Drabble until we tire, 'till Simoof sings of random things
    Drabble until we tire, Kow's fatal kiss we don't need
    Drabble until we tire ....


    Simoof's words for you, are a view to a kill
    It's


    05 - Frank - Morale Boost

    DAY01
    A miscalculation by Psykokow has trapped us between the stars. We've called out for the Fuel Rats. Simoof's now Morale Officer. His chirpy attitude and marvellous sound-effects machine will help us through the difficult wait.

    DAY05
    Simoof has given us all hilarious nicknames.

    DAY10
    I've told Simoof his juvenile fart machine only reminds people that the air's rationed.

    DAY15
    Simoof's starting a story competition. I wonder what topic he'll pick.

    DAY16
    A tragedy's occurred. Simoof's fallen through the airlock. He might've sacrificed himself to give us more time, as DocStone suggested whilst polishing out the scratchmarks surrounding the airlock.




    06 - Psykokow - 'Excellent'

    The bloodied hand shook violently, the glass it grasped spilled its contents until steadied by the greeting lips.
    He slurped, as desperate breathing interrupted his swallowing.
    A cough, then a moments calm
    “They took over the ship, there was millions of them”
    Frank nodded with great concern, “go on”
    “Clacking away in Latin….. millions of the little bearded gits”
    “come on Kow… what happened?”
    “They claimed, his mocking of them caused their species great dishonour”
    “oh geesus” The old timer shook this time and started to down the bottle.
    “and that’s when they killed simoof”
    “he’s dead?”
    “yes”
    “party time”




    07 - MrMogadon - Title by Way of a Synopsis (this isn't the title by the way)[it is now]

    After days of wandering, they find The Vault of Dionysus, a Cobra crammed with formulae for new leisure drugs and potency enhancers that would make even an accountant tumescent.
    Frank tells Simoof to tie some twine round a large rock and fill the backpack with as much as it can hold.
    “Let’s go” commanded Frank tying the other end to the backpack.
    After 6 days, starving and exhausted, a worrying thought strikes Frank. “Simoof, you DID attach the twine to the rock didn’t you?”
    “Just let me check” says Simoof opening the backpack. “Yep, it’s securely attached“
    So gentle listener…




    08 - Listeri69 - The BeeTrees - Celebrate........

    Simoof flys round
    In a safe and happy part of space
    Shot by doc
    in an area just off boston base
    thrusters dead
    just can't make it out of there
    he's nearly used up all his air
    out of air
    nearly gone, nearly gone

    Celebrate
    With simoof gone we can all go on
    and celebrate
    no one will cry we all know why
    he had to die
    its our party time when he's no longer there
    Celebrate
    with his pieces floating over space
    we celebrate
    when the simoof dies shot in the eyes
    he had to die
    its our party...




    09 - Naughty DogBone! - It's the way I tell 'em!

    “…and that’s when they killed Simoof!”

    The crowd erupted into rapturous applause as Des O’Stauner hit them with the punchline to the funniest joke in the history of the known Universe. No one could tell the “A Man walks into a Thargoidian Brothel” like O’Stauner.

    One man laughed harder and longer than all the rest, tears of pure joy running down his face. For he was the only other man to know it was no joke.

    His name? PsykoKow, and he was the one who had dared Simoof to enter the brothel and ask for the “tripellphistingfunnkle”.

    With extra Funnkle.




    10 - Very Naughty Galactic Midden! - Sorry (I really am)

    Last Friday of term always featured an educational "lesson" told during story time. Aboard the massive rotating orbital Onez station's children suffered school away from parents twice each 44hr day. Today was the Galpol security clerk's turn to deliver the end of term "lesson"...

    Junior trainee 3rd assistant jobseeker Simoof stepped forward gesturing outside, "CHILDREN, BEWARE! There's danger out there, and strangers who stare. In your biodome, in your alley, hides lurkers and miscreants, having a swally. I've seen them, I am one, I'll learn you a lesson. "zzzip, oh hello! Here's my confession."

    "...and that's when they killed Simoof!"




    11 - Missileman - requiescat in pieces

    The funeral cortege moved through space a motley collection of ships behind a lakon type 9
    a meteorite shower proceed the procession showering it's disdain with rocks billions of years in the making
    Inside the type 9 a body lie wrapped up surrounded by the family of the deceased.
    Suddenly a flash of light and a whirling vortex ripped through the fabric of space time
    the procession scattered as laser fire lit up the void.
    The ships with weapons tried to fight back but they had little chance against the imperial ships


    For the 2nd time this week Simoof died....




    12 - Roybe - Jacobson And The Moose Basking

    Jacobson was on the medical bed, barely conscious, while Anton feverishly worked to stabilize him.

    "It was horrible. Jacobson here, was working with a Federation environmental reclamation team in Canada. When a moose broke into the compound and took interest in him.'

    "I saw that on the video." said the security technician. "It was amazing to watch. I almost started laughing when the moose finally got Jacobson positioned correctly...."

    "Yeah." the medic giggled. "I never knew how large a moose actually was...'

    Jacobson, his mouth, filled with blood, tried to form words, "Fankfully, vats hwen vey defided to kill simoof"




    13 - Ian Phillips - The truth about how Simoof died.

    "...and that's when they killed Simoof."

    The storyteller raised his glass in the silence and drained it, setting it empty back on the bar.
    It was quickly replaced with a full one, and he smiled, reaching for it.

    The story wasn't true. Simoof hadn't died a heroic death, but the false ending always got him a few drinks, so he didn't mind lying at all.

    Actually he had tripped whilst running and bashed his head on a chair. He was trampled to death by the hordes of rampaging Susan Boils fans rushing to get to the front of the stage.




    14 - Erik Marcaigh - I Call Them Drabblettes (aka Five for the Price of One)

    "Only enough oxygen for three of us to make it back to the station," said Erik.
    ...and that's when they killed Simoof.
    -----
    Simoof froze, the robbery gone wrong. His mistake got team members killed, then the police turned their weapons on him.
    ...and that's when they killed Simoof.
    -----
    The medical nanobots malfunctioned while fixing the plasma burn.
    ...and that's when they killed Simoof.
    -----
    The zombie horde was overwhelming. The group needed a distraction. Midden hobbled Simoof with a quick hamstring.
    ...and that's when they killed Simoof.
    -----
    He made that annoying sound in TeamSpeak again.
    ....and that's when they killed Simoof.




    15 - Clef_Hanger - Whoopee!

    Frank and Doc Stone sat with an inconsolable Psykokow in the Thargoide and Fer-de-Lance.

    "I didn't think he'd take it so hard," said Frank. "After all it was his mammoth."

    "Yes, but it was Simoof who trained it to sit on the whoopee cushion." replied Doc

    "Everyone thought it was funny super-bonding the cushion to Simoof though, that was when....." Frank trailed off.

    "He's still got a smile on his face," mused Doc "But now it's as thin as his flattened sound-box."

    "Thats why he's so upset," Frank sighed "It wasn't an electronic sound-box, "Wee Jimmy Krankie" lived in there."




    16 - insanephoton - Sweet Taboo (or Tammy's revenge)

    They welcomed us like we were gods. The tribe were survivors of some long forgotten colony, sent out before the frame shift drive had been invented. Lacking contact with civilisation, they had reverted to a primitive agrarian society and created their own religion. They worshipped the local volcano, Mount Tammy. Every day they would leave an offering of a kind of sweet biscuit, like shortbread, that they called Sharted. Suddenly the friendly atmosphere was broken with anguished, angry cries of 'Tammy Sharted!' Someone had eaten the offering. They dragged the culprit to the village and that's when they killed Simoof.




    I really am sorry by the way
    Je suis Sidewinder - Image credit Cmdr Moozipan - p.s. have you tried ABRAKA DRABBLE?

  2. #2
    No-one's voted yet ... I AM WINNING!!!!
    When you need me, but do not want me, I must stay ... When you want me, but do not need me, I must go.

  3. #3
    Originally Posted by Alien View Post (Source)
    No-one's voted yet ... I AM WINNING!!!!
    We're all winners. Lets close the poll! Oh no wait, I want to find how they actually killed Simoof
    Je suis Sidewinder - Image credit Cmdr Moozipan - p.s. have you tried ABRAKA DRABBLE?

  4. #4
    Well, it's been a bloody hard choice this week, but i have picked my three possibilities, just gotta wait now on the live reading to confirm.

    Midden, your Drabble is harsh man, so very, very harsh

  5. #5
    Sadly I won't make the live stream tonight due to unforseen circumstances (detention in purgatory). My only wish is for Simoof to pull through and survive his multi death experience.
    Je suis Sidewinder - Image credit Cmdr Moozipan - p.s. have you tried ABRAKA DRABBLE?

  6. #6
    I think it's outrageous how many drabblers have mentioned Simoof in an attempt to get him to vote for them. Naked electioneering (that's a comment, not a request.)

  7. #7
    Where's the Twitch recording of the reading? Did someone kill Psykokow as well as Simoof?

  8. #8
    hehe, sorry guys.
    Due to the Lavecon setup test being succesful we had to tidy up and re-pack all cables etc, and then Drive Simoof home, then make up for ignoring my wife ALL DAY!!

    Here is the video.. Audio will be extracted tomorrow (coz I forgot to stream to Lave Radio)


  9. #9

  10. #10
    Top notch drabble reading this week.

    And, Simoof.... You're welcome!

    What could be a good follow up topic? "What became of Simoof's remains," springs to mind. Muhahahahahahaaa....

  11. #11
    Well ... I voted for Frank's Ian's and Clef's.

    If you watch the video, I suggest muting the volume after Drabble #9 is read out until you see Drabble #10 on the screen. I don't think medical science has found a cure for deafness by caterwauling yet
    When you need me, but do not want me, I must stay ... When you want me, but do not need me, I must go.

  12. #12
    Originally Posted by Alien View Post (Source)
    Well ... I voted for Frank's Ian's and Clef's.

    If you watch the video, I suggest muting the volume after Drabble #9 is read out until you see Drabble #10 on the screen. I don't think medical science has found a cure for deafness by caterwauling yet
    I would suggest keeping it muted for drabble 10 too, maybe shut your eyes as well! You don't want to hear or read that horror of a drabble
    Je suis Sidewinder - Image credit Cmdr Moozipan - p.s. have you tried ABRAKA DRABBLE?

  13. #13

  14. #14
    I seem to have taken over "T.j two vote's" function of just getting two votes per week.
    (Credit for the image goes to Moozipan)
    Commander Reighdar One man. One ship. One galaxy.

  15. #15
    Originally Posted by Ian Phillips View Post (Source)
    I seem to have taken over "T.j two vote's" function of just getting two votes per week.
    It's one vote better than I normally get.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast