View Poll Results: Pick the three froodiest Drabbles

Voters
17. You may not vote on this poll
  • 01 Frank: - Flush

    8 47.06%
  • 02 Gibbonici: - The Promised Land

    2 11.76%
  • 03 T.j: - Not lost just temporarily confused.

    4 23.53%
  • 04 Zieman: - Get Lost

    2 11.76%
  • 05 Splendour: - Reading the signs

    3 17.65%
  • 06 Philip Coutts: - Lost in Space

    5 29.41%
  • 07 Ian Phillips: - Communication skills

    7 41.18%
  • 08 Yaffle: - Who? Where?

    5 29.41%
  • 09 Azdour: - Winning is not always about winning

    2 11.76%
  • 10 Luniticisi: - Deep Thought Rises

    1 5.88%
  • 11 insanephoton: - What the book says about Raxxla

    2 11.76%
  • 12 Darkoba: - Du(n)e Taxes

    3 17.65%
  • 13 Darren Grey: - Lost and Harmless

    7 41.18%
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Thread: Drabble Poll - Lost in the Style of Douglas Adams

  1. #1

    Drabble Poll - Lost in the Style of Douglas Adams

    It's now time to slip on a dressing gown, listen to The Eagles Journey of the Sorcerer, lie back and lose yourself in this week's Drabbles.

    Everyone is welcome to vote. Just pick your favourite three from the above poll. And will you contestants please refrain from doing something so uncool as voting for yourself.

  2. #2
    01 Frank: - Flush

    "That's your bunk. We'll keep your duties light until you learn the ropes." Commander Murphy sighed before calling "Computer?"

    A sarcastic crackly voice echoed throughout the cabin "What do you want?"

    "Enter as a level 4 user, Mister..." Murphy gestured towards the new crew member to respond.

    "Justin Newbay. Wow! Is that a GPP? How did you get such a great ship?"

    "I got it in a game of cards"

    "You won a spaceship in a game of cards?"

    "I had a froody Boa Cruiser with the latest Frameshift Drive." Murphy surveyed the cabin with disgust "I didn't win this."



    02 Gibbonici: - The Promised Land

    The planet Farancho was once home to a religious sect called the Guided. They followed a long-dead prophet called Davesien'halapanga-dsh@praline###~~error701, who taught that machines were free spirits with the right to self-expression. Consequently, safety features and effective error trapping were taboo in Guided culture.

    Following the AI Wars, the Guided decided to leave Farancho to find a lost promised planet where machines could be free to be who they wanted to be. However, due to a particularly "expressive" navigation system, they landed on a traffic roundabout on the planet Slough where they remain to this day.



    03 T.j: - Not lost just temporarily confused.

    It's dark, he was alone, confused and scared. he couldn't see anything.

    His cries were muffled by the suffocating darkness.

    Suddenly there's light as his head was uncovered. staring at him were three people, a depressed robot and five sets of eyes glaring at him in exasperation.

    'Oh really Arthur.' The pretty girl shook her head and the two headed one spoke, 'Again monkeyman?.'

    He sat up in his bunk feeling embarrassed as usual.

    The bloody paranoid Android actually looked pleased for once he thought.

    'Anyone want tea?' He asked awkwardly.

    He knew he should have brought a smaller towel.



    04 Zieman: - Get Lost

    ”Get Lost!”, they said. Or yelled. I just wanted to be friends with them, that’s all. “What can I do for you to be your friend?”, I asked.

    To be honest, it all started somewhat awkward, my Eagle making a deep dent into their new Lakon Nine’s side. Parking is not my forte yet, but I will master that skill! Eventually.

    But where, and maybe more important, what is this Lost they wanted me to get them? Not a clue. I’m not even completely sure where I am, and less sure how to get back where I left the ships.



    05 Splendour: - Reading the signs

    It's hard to get lost in space.

    Space is big. As the ancients chronicled, “You may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space”. It is so immensely vast the mind cannot comprehend it’s true scale, but it is well signposted. Everywhere you look are stars, and to work out where you are is a simple case of triangulating your position based on their location.

    That is until your computer register of stellar objects takes a stray multicannon round to the storage banks.

    All those stars, but which one is home?



    06 Philip Coutts: - Lost in Space

    “Lost?” retorted Coutts

    “Lost” Repeated the Ship’s computer sadly “As in off course”

    “”I know what lost means, I just don’t understand how we can be, you have the computational capacity of at least 100 BBC micro’s”

    “I know, but I’m so depressed, my processor could compute the ultimate question, but I’m stuck being a ship’s computer. I could change the Universe if anyone listened to me, which they don’t of course”

    “Look, just bloody well find us or I’ll melt you down and sell you for scrap!”

    “Well that’s just brilliant, threats of violence will really improve my mood……..”



    07 Ian Phillips: - Communication skills

    Do you know where we are?

    Ov corse.

    Sooo, where are we?

    I do not know.


    GRrrrr.

    Computer, identify this systems star.

    Ov corse mon capitain. Thees star is not in my data catalogues.

    But you said you know where we are.

    Ov corse mon capitain.

    Then where are we?

    Ov corse mon capitain.

    Computer. Voice response off. Computers with 'fashionable' accents from the Paris system. The rage last year, now just really irritating. Type your answers.

    What is our location?

    I do not know our location captain.

    Then. Tell. Me. What. You. DO. Know.

    We are off course captain.



    08 Yaffle: - Who? Where?

    She entered the cockpit to find him swearing, and desperately scanning holographic maps. The blue reflected light of the planet getting closer.
    “Are we lost?”
    “Of course not.” He checked the starchart in a nonchalantly unconvincing manner.
    Waving a hand at the planet rapidly filling the cockpit’s view he continued “Well, that’s…” a ping notified him of the planet’s name. “good, we’re nearly there!” he continued.
    “Where are we going?”
    “Are you talking philosophically or geographically?”
    “Philosophically.”
    “Then we're going to lunch. I know a little place that does a wonderful bouillabaisse. Do you like bouillabaisse?”
    “Mmm, bouillabaisse, yum yum.”



    09 Azdour: - Winning is not always about winning

    Aldin was a poor card player and it was only by accident that he had stumbled across the 'Ultimate Poker Sacrifice game – hosted at the End of the Universe' on a distant station. Apparently some game officials thought 'Universe' added gravitas to the game.

    Aldin won the final round. The audience cheered.

    But it was not for him.

    This was no ordinary game. The word Sacrifice had a significance far beyond Aldin's expectations.

    The hosts took delight in declaring him the looser.

    You see, the aim of this game was to loose, so by winning he had also lost.



    10 Luniticisi: - Deep Thought Rises

    Three computers were used to calculate the outcome of a probable attack from the Thargoid's.. Deep Thought was left out this time, as it turned out that someone had typed in 10.5 x 4, which may or may-not have affected the result of the master program.

    "So, whats the answer?" asked one of the many scientists involved.

    "It's coming now, Look!" answered another of the many scientists involved.

    After many years the answer was finally coming.

    "And here it is" said yet another of the many scientists involved, holding up the print-out.. proud.

    looking lost he answered..

    "It's 42..

    ...again"



    11 insanephoton: - What the book says about Raxxla

    The mythical lost planet of Raxxla was of course neither mythical or lost, at least not to it's inhabitants.

    To the rest of the galaxy, or more accurately the fraction occupied by humans, it was a legend, home to whatever wild ideas were fashionable at the time. Some speculated it was a gateway to other dimensions, others claimed it was home to secret organisations . None of this was true.

    The truth of the matter was that the inhabitants of Raxxla had grown so tired of everyone else that they had decided to have their planet removed from galactic maps.



    12 Darkoba: - Du(n)e Taxes

    “We’re not lost; we've entered the Muad’dib system.” The Cruise-liner Orca Captain’s voice chuckled, “Just one, dry planet, ‘Dune’.”

    A huge, fully-armed ship loomed up. Passengers gasped in fright. Was this a pirate attack?

    The Captain lit up a large sign on the forward bulkhead:

    DON’T PANIC

    “It’s Dune’s Customs & Excise people. It’s customary to pay a special system-entry fee.” the Captain calmly informed passengers.

    Several cargo canisters were off-loaded and transferred. The customs officer sent a message.

    “You are welcome to inspect Dune from orbit and to travel through our system…
    Good day, and thanks for the fish.”



    13 Darren Grey: - Lost and Harmless

    Five years… lost. Five years thinking what a bloody spoon I am. Stupid “Harmless” me.

    I’d been a pilot just three days when it happened, getting my first kills in an uncharted asteroid belt. I was elated, distracted whilst supercruising right into a giant rock.

    Now I’m stuck here, drive broken, eating dry recycled food. Dry and flaky.

    But what’s this? A ship nearby! I hastily re-rig my missiles as flares…. and fire.

    Oh. Whoops… Should’ve turned the homing off.

    As the explosion blossoms I receive a message, my first in years – “EFP notification: Pilot rank revised to… Mostly Harmless.”

  3. #3

  4. #4
    Is that just a general lament about how people lose their towel as they get older? Or have I made some sort of mistake someplace?

  5. #5
    Just making it clear I'm not a froody fellow who always knows where his towel is

  6. #6
    ...isn't sure what's going on. Moderator T.j's Avatar
    Originally Posted by Darren Grey View Post (Source)
    Just making it clear I'm not a froody fellow who always knows where his towel is
    As long as you have your blue suede shoes you should be alright.

  7. #7
    Originally Posted by T.j View Post (Source)
    As long as you have your blue suede shoes you should be alright.
    Darren's not the only one. These days I seem to be having this tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle.

  8. #8
    Originally Posted by T.j View Post (Source)
    As long as you have your blue suede shoes you should be alright.
    I walked into this bar, and the man refused...

  9. #9
    ...isn't sure what's going on. Moderator T.j's Avatar
    Originally Posted by Frank View Post (Source)
    Darren's not the only one. These days I seem to be having this tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle.
    I'd love to rep you for that Frank, but the forum wont let me and us mods atre a bit busy atm, I'll owe you one.

    Watch out for those microscopic invasion fleets.

  10. #10
    I'll keep a dog handy.

    Cody, that song! Thank you very much.

  11. #11
    ...isn't sure what's going on. Moderator T.j's Avatar

    Sooooo +1 I needed that after the fun on here tonight.

    This is just keeping me sane at the moment. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjYtomSkI8I

  12. #12
    Originally Posted by T.j View Post (Source)
    This is just keeping me sane at the moment. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjYtomSkI8I
    And since play-eh-testing Alpha 4 seems to be so far away still (becuse of the controller shenanigans) this feels appropriate (whilst keeping me relatively sane): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObzXL...E2CDEE&index=1

  13. #13
    Me I'm not thinking of all those people having fun on Alpha 4. The game is very unstable. There's reports of crashes all over the forum. I made the right decision to wait for the beta. I'm sure I did.

    I hope you Alphans out there are enjoying the game.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXqPjx94YMg#t=122

  14. #14
    Vote cast, tough one again this week and looking at the poll so far it's very close. Early days and I suspect a lot of folk are off having fun with Alpha 4 and not reading the Drabbles like good children, how very naughty......

  15. #15
    ...isn't sure what's going on. Moderator T.j's Avatar
    Yay, got me sympathy vote.

    Thanks kindly voter.

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