View Poll Results: If you could buy anything, which 3 of these would you pay any amount for?

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  • 01 - Erik Marcaigh - The Carousel Wheel of Death (It Never Stops Spinning)

    4 13.33%
  • 02 - Simoof - Can't Buy Me Love

    7 23.33%
  • 03 - Iain M Norman - Any Credits Sir?

    6 20.00%
  • 04 - Strontium Dog - moneys no object when trying to get home

    3 10.00%
  • 05 - Docstone - Indiana Bones and the Legend of the Pustule Skull

    3 10.00%
  • 06 - MrMogadon - Somethings Money Can't Buy

    5 16.67%
  • 07 - Frank - The Sidewinder Sketch

    3 10.00%
  • 08 - Dan Grubb - Simoof and the unpaid bill

    3 10.00%
  • 09 - cleonymus - Money No Object?

    7 23.33%
  • 10 - Galactic Midden - Ancients Remembered

    5 16.67%
  • 11 - Clef_Hanger - Whatever gave you that impressionist?

    3 10.00%
  • 12 - Alien - It's A Mr Tree

    5 16.67%
  • 13 - Listeri69 - A little light relief...

    9 30.00%
  • 14 - Missileman - All in the name of science

    11 36.67%
  • 15 - azdour - Can money buy happiness?

    4 13.33%
  • 16 - Psykokow - Artistic License

    1 3.33%
  • 17 - EDith_The_Hutt - In The Beginning...

    3 10.00%
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Thread: Drabble Contest #110 - Money's No Object

  1. #1

    Arrow Drabble Contest #110 - Money's No Object

    WARNING! Take care when voting in the Poll as the numbers don't all match. Ignore the numbers and vote for the person's drabble. We have no idea how this happened, suffice to say it was probably Docstone's fault

    Money's No Object
    Well I for one feel incredibly wealthy, and so should you! This is a fine selection of drabbles we have to savour this week and all you have to ask yourself is, if money's no object would you object to money? Sorry, no that's not the question is it. I'm having a moment please bear with me, here's a picture while I compose myself.



    Ah got it! If Money's No Object, would you splash out on 3 of these wonderful drabbles? If so, which 3?

    If it's your first visit here I'll give you quick synopsis. Drabbles are short stories and must be 100 words exactly. These ones are all Elite based and the topic this week is the above. All drabblers are awesome somewhat oo and special. All we're asking you to do is to read the drabbles and vote for your favourite three. BUT REMEMBER! You must not vote for your own drabble or Frank will send the boys round

    01 - Erik (1st in) Marcaigh - The Carousel Wheel of Death (It Never Stops Spinning)
    Commander Erik looked over at MrMogadon and said, "I'm just paying you to kill him. Since when do assassins have morals? You didn't have a problem a week ago, did you?"

    "Well, no."

    "And you were paid well, correct?"

    "Well, yes," nodded MrMogadon. "But Simoof's..."

    "What? Alive?"

    "Yes. That's just a bit unusual in my line of work. My targets generally stay dead. Loss of blood, limbs, freezing temperatures in space, dreadfully horrid ways to go."

    "Mmmmhmm. He's alive again, thanks to DocStone's Reanimator. It cost a pretty penny, but I get to keep having him killed."

    "Consider it done."


    02 - Simoof('s alive!) - Can't buy me love.

    The little happy caterpillar crawled along the heating conduit above Nickynackynoonos head.
    Nickynackynoonoo chortled "I have all the money in the kingdom"
    Poopoobumballum moaned "And I told you money is not the issue here"
    "But money is everything" retorted the jolly fat man.
    Poopoobumballum became huffy-puffy. "But you can't have what you want. It's not gonna happen". She tried to walk around Nickynackynoonoo
    Nickynackynoonoo laughed "I have offered you more than you'd make in a lifetime"
    "I simply won't do THAT!!"
    Nickynackynoonoo sneered, "Then I shall pay to have you killed and I'll do it anyway!" S


    03 - Iain M Norman - Any Credits Sir?

    Alex scrunched the discarded plastiwrap tight around himself, patching gaps and
    chasing bubbles of chill air from his frozen body. The heating often failed in
    Central, but he wasn’t here by choice. The undesirable central decks were the
    only place to bed down without being hassled by those station security bullies.
    Alex feared them, and rightly so. They’d murdered his parents and repeatedly
    abused him. They stayed away from Central - mostly. Too wintry for their bitter
    hearts perhaps?

    He read the advertising on the plastiwrap, it was packaging for a disposable
    three piece business suit. He cried himself to sleep.


    04 - Strontium Dog - moneys no object when trying to get home

    there was a dark angel from slough
    who had to get home somehow
    she purchased a ship to shorten
    her trip counting the credits allowed

    her take off was short lived of grace
    as she scraped her way out to space
    she ploted her route and doned her flight suit
    with remlock secured to her face

    her frameshift reared up like a steed
    ready to bolt of with speed
    she set off today in a relative way
    hoping to get there last week



    assasination by kick an bath
    angel had gained the last laugh
    mad Eddie disolved his own arsk


    05 - Dogstone Woof - Indiana Bones and the Legend of the Pustule Skull (you gotta be kidding)

    It was known as the ugliest object in the known or unknown universe. A pre-jump relic once thought lost in the passage of time, an object so hideous, so unbelievably putrid that its human origins have been questioned time and time again, yet undeniably human it is.

    I had to have it.

    50 years of backbreaking toil, working my way up from a lowly sidewinder to a fleet of Anacondas; the most successful businessman in Imperial Space. I made my billions, just to give them away.

    After all, money is no object when the prize is the Skull of Simoof!


    06 - Frank(ie Valli) - The Sidewinder Sketch

    The salesroom is littered with holo-models of Sidewinders.

    Salesman: Hello. What can I get you?

    Buyer: I just won big on the races. I'm looking for a fighter. Money's no object.

    Salesman: A Sidewinder's ideal. It can dodge easy and packs a good punch.

    Buyer: What about an explorer?

    Salesman: Real men use Sidewinders. It gives you a sense of achievement, and see more of the Galaxy.

    Buyer: Cargo hauler?

    Salesman: Sidewinders hold 10T. They're easy to fly through docking slots. Depending on your cargo, a discrete craft can be handy.

    Buyer: You only sell Sidewinders?

    Salesman: ...Yes.


    07 - Dan (what's my username?) Grubb - Simoof and the Unpaid Bill - By Daniel Grubb aged 6

    'Another! Make it quicker than the last one ya lazy bum!'
    Simoof had clearly had enough.
    'Away with your about fines too, you can stick 'em. I barely touched that clipper.'
    A besuited gentleman leaned over Simoof's massive shoulder.
    'John? Put this Commander's bill on my tab would you?'
    'Certainly Commander Matrix'
    'I've told you before John, call me Dommy.'
    'Right you are.'
    'Come along, I have such wonderful things to show you.' Dommy grabbed Simoof by the knees and hauled him onto his shoulders.
    'Where are we going?'
    'Shut up you disgusting object.'
    'Hey,' slurred Simoof, 'm'knees no object!'


    08 - cleonymus - Money No Object?

    Cleonymus looked at the ancient artefact with a sense of wonder.


    It had appeared in his scanner in the middle of a resource extraction site and his drone had picked it up while he was looking for the next likely asteroid to mine.


    Now he had the the bright shiny thing on the console in front of him. Base metal and a nickle alloy covering, he had finally managed to read the inscription.


    His research had finally proved that there was indeed a time before computers. There used to be a time, when money was, physically represented as an object.


    09 - Galcatic Midden - Ancients remembered

    "They came like ducks on the march... we welcomed, so majestic" exclaimed the old man so lucidly the patrons of Commander's Rest were stunned into silence.

    "hggrumumm... frigid the winds of starlight were that brought their fire, cutting the cold to burn our skies, hmphmmhm... They were ancient, we weren't wise... whhmhm... we couldn't learn their speech..."

    Betsy looked away as years of pain leaked forth from the man.

    "...who knew... gold they didn't want, money was no object to them, they had wealth, power... they had us!"

    "sons fell, children vanished... only the old neglected... punished were the first"


    10 - Clef_Hangar - Whatever gave you that impressionist?

    The door closed and they were alone.

    "Well, he certainly made quite an impression Mr. Dart," said the man with one ear. "Oscar-Claud likes his water lilies and landscapes, give him a planet with a sunrise and some countryside to look at and he'll be happy."

    "He has ideas, dangerous ideas! We can use him, move him from planet to planet, start something new, something big."

    "You can't treat him like a pawn on your chessboard, Dart. He's a painter."

    "He's a revolutionary! And my name is D'art."

    "Only suspected revolutionary," smiled the man, adding "Monet is no objet d'art."


    11 - Alien - It's A Mr Tree (bad Alien, kennel now!)

    Alien sat in the corner of the Thargoid and Fer-de-lance, "I never win this stupid drabble thing."
    Frank looked over, "Maybe you should write a good drabble then young Alien."
    Alien looked over to Frank, "What is a good drabble then?" Frank shrugged his shoulders.
    Over the next several hours, Alien stared at a blank screen, "I have no idea what makes a good drabble."
    Alien and Frank looked over at Psykokow in his DJ booth as he played the "It's a mystery" sample on cue.
    Then Simoof rushed in "Free drinks on me!" ... and that's when they killed Simoof!


    12 - MrMogadon - Somethings Money Can't Buy (Working title)

    Platinum trillionaire, Uberwald “Clive” Wankler found the observation lounge occupied. Stunningly attractive, she talked loudly into her mobile.

    When she finished, Clive spoke. “You beguile me. I want to shower you with money and exotic items. To treat you like a goddess. Money’s no object”
    He patted the adjoining seat.
    She sat.

    Gently, lovingly, he enquires “Oral relief for 30 credits?”
    Enraged, jumping to her feet, she snaps “I’m not that type of woman?”
    “We’ve already established you are. Now we’re haggling.”
    Slapping his face, she stormed out.
    Settling back, he considered the slap worth the peace he now enjoyed


    13 - Listerine49 - A little light relief...

    Simoof looked happy, it had been a successful weeks trading

    Conning Cmdr Docstone into buying 520 tonnes of Algae as a rare psychotropic drug had been a particularly good memory.

    So here he sat in the Peppermint Hippo.

    It promoted itself as 'thee' most exotic in the galaxy boasting 10 floating poles the floating nature of the acts put Simoof in an even better mood.

    'giz a kiss' Simoof said to a particularly buxom lady 'an it'll rain credits fer ye'

    'My name is Bunny' she pulled out a pistol 'and Bunny is no object...'

    And thats when Simoof died...


    14 - Missyleman - All in the name of science (ooh, gotta play weird science here)

    The screams echoed down the corridor of the ship.
    Wrong place, Wrong time but worse of all wrong species.
    A bone protruded through his arm a mess of splinters where 'they' had hit it seemingly testing his resistance.
    Pain had became a normality, he had barely made a sound when first his fingernails were lifted and removed.
    Then shortly after, the finger onto which it was attached.
    At first he he had pleaded with them, he had millions of credits, money was no object just... just make it stop he had pleaded
    but money was meaningless to the clicking scientist.


    15 - AsdaAzdour - Can money buy happiness?

    Tarren was a successful trader, a stinking rich trader.

    Money was no object. Throwing it around as if it was going out of fashion.

    He thought he was the best thing since sliced Lavian fruitcake.

    Some thought he was a fool. Others, like me, thought he was giving us good traders a bad name.

    Begging at the landing pads was increasing, adding time getting to and from our ships.

    It had to stop. It was costing us credits in more ways than one.

    And it did, when he was arrested for fraudulently acquired credits.

    I wonder who hacked his account?


    16 - Psykokow - Artistic License

    Obe’s hand shook as he pressed the paintbrush onto the canvas making the last dot.
    It was over now, his masterpiece was complete, ready to exhibit at the Achenar Fine Art Gallery.
    He took three slow steps backwards to take the majesty of the piece to full effect, it was stunning.

    Huge crowds attended the opening and he was excited to see his work amongst history’s finest artist’s.
    He approached the critic standing in front of his painting.
    “Are you OK?”
    “Ah Mr Ject, your work is quite reminiscent of Monet”
    “BAH!” He dismissed him “Monet is no Obe Ject”


    17 - Edit The Hutt - In The Beginning...

    The consultant sat with the developer.

    "Well David, I've seen your design documents and your tech demonstrator and I think you've got a really good game here. But you won't get traditional investment, it's not 'mainstream' enough, no one's willing to take a risk in this economy"

    "We know, what do you suggest?"

    "Crowdfunding."

    "Crowdfunding? Like Kickstarter?"

    "Exactly! Go to Kickstarter and money will not be the object to getting your game made."

    "Brilliant! -wait, what?"

    "That's... the downside David, you do this and you'll have to deal with... your fans."

    "Oh... oh gods."

    "Yeah. Good luck, you'll need it."


    18 - Missing Tj


    19 - Can't believe 'Kow had the audacity to post that awful pun


    20 - still missing Tj


    Great Tunes to Supercruise to - p.s. have you tried ABRAKA DRABBLE?

  2. #2
    No-one's voted yet ... *sigh* ... I guess I'm not winning this week either
    When you need me, but do not want me, I must stay ... When you want me, but do not need me, I must go.

  3. #3
    Wait ... one vote ... for ... me???? ... I don't get it, who'd vote for me? (and no, I haven't voted for myself)

    Hang on ... that means ...

    ​I'M WINNING!!!!!!

    Click image for larger version. 

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    When you need me, but do not want me, I must stay ... When you want me, but do not need me, I must go.

  4. #4
    Warning to all The numbers on the drabbles and the numbers on the poll do not completely match... I nearly voted for the wrong drabble...
    Sic Parvis Magna

  5. #5
    Originally Posted by azdour View Post (Source)
    Warning to all The numbers on the stories and the numbers on the poll do not completely match... I nearly voted for the wrong story...
    Yes Mr Mogadon's is #6 in the poll and #12 in the first post
    When you need me, but do not want me, I must stay ... When you want me, but do not need me, I must go.

  6. #6
    Does anyone know if Alien has entered a drabble in this week's competition?

  7. #7
    Originally Posted by Winterwalker View Post (Source)
    Does anyone know if Alien has entered a drabble in this week's competition?
    Shh ... don't tell anyone ... vote for #12 in the poll ... no don't look at the names, they are irrelevant, just vote for #12
    When you need me, but do not want me, I must stay ... When you want me, but do not need me, I must go.

  8. #8
    Originally Posted by Galactic Midden View Post (Source)
    14 - Missyleman - All in the name of science (ooh, gotta play weird science here)
    Can I suggest this instead?

    When you need me, but do not want me, I must stay ... When you want me, but do not need me, I must go.

  9. #9
    Originally Posted by azdour View Post (Source)
    Warning to all The numbers on the drabbles and the numbers on the poll do not completely match... I nearly voted for the wrong drabble...
    If the odd numbering accidentally gets votes for me by mistake, then... well these things happen. What can you do? <grin>

  10. #10
    Originally Posted by Alien View Post (Source)
    Wait ... one vote ... for ... me???? ... I don't get it, who'd vote for me? (and no, I haven't voted for myself)

    Hang on ... that means ...

    ​I'M WINNING!!!!!!

    Click image for larger version. 

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ID:	51498
    guilty as charged for ist vote

  11. #11
    Originally Posted by STRONTIUM DOG View Post (Source)
    guilty as charged for ist vote
    I promise you, I have yet to vote.
    When you need me, but do not want me, I must stay ... When you want me, but do not need me, I must go.

  12. #12
    Originally Posted by azdour View Post (Source)
    Warning to all The numbers on the drabbles and the numbers on the poll do not completely match... I nearly voted for the wrong drabble...
    I accept complete and total responsibility for this muck up of 'galcatic' proportions.


    Great Tunes to Supercruise to - p.s. have you tried ABRAKA DRABBLE?

  13. #13
    OK the antics are recorded for future prosecutions, video will be available as soon as it is processed, thanks for a right laugh tonight!! Itunes updated



    http://thargoidandfer-de-lance.co.uk...-object-audio/
    or direct here

  14. #14
    Originally Posted by Alien View Post (Source)
    This was epic. Thank you for sharing!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Originally Posted by Galactic Midden View Post (Source)
    I accept complete and total responsibility for this muck up of 'galcatic' proportions.
    You could fix it... except that there's now been 20 voters. LOL

    - - - Updated - - -

    Originally Posted by psykokow View Post (Source)
    OK the antics are recorded for future prosecutions, video will be available as soon as it is processed, thanks for a right laugh tonight!! Itunes updated

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ninb2mDqp0c

    http://thargoidandfer-de-lance.co.uk...-object-audio/
    or direct here
    This is not so epic.
    Mainly because I get a notice when I try to play it. It reads, "This video contains content from NBC Universal, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds."
    Or maybe the notice just reads, "This video contains content meant to melt your brain, and since we have not yet harvested your brain, you are disallowed from watching it."

  15. #15
    Since 'Kow took that long to understand Simoof's drabble, here's a song that explains it much more bluntly.

    NSFW (language)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UWX6eM6aYg

    (They're a local Houston band.)

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