View Poll Results: Which three are the most unfloccinaucinihilipilificate

Voters
21. You may not vote on this poll
  • 01 - Simoof - The Turnaround

    3 14.29%
  • 02 - STRONTIUM DOG - the lieutennants moist defacation

    1 4.76%
  • 03 - Phoenix_Dfire - Finally, a Parsimonious Moist Floccinaucinihilipilification Without Revenge

    5 23.81%
  • 04 - MrMogadon - Mystery in Space

    5 23.81%
  • 05 - Erik Marcaigh - On to Better Things

    3 14.29%
  • 06 - Iain M Norman - Bloody Brothers

    4 19.05%
  • 07 - Frank - Dead Astronauts Don't Wear Plaid

    4 19.05%
  • 08 - Ian Phillips - A new order?

    3 14.29%
  • 09 - psykokow - Take That

    3 14.29%
  • 10 - SkipRat - My dearly beloved - SkipRat

    3 14.29%
  • 11 - Splendour - Finally, a Parsimonious Moist Floccinaucinihilipilification Without Revenge

    1 4.76%
  • 12 - Galactic Midden - Now over to our raving reporter

    3 14.29%
  • 13 - cleonymus - Underinsured

    3 14.29%
  • 14 - Edith_The_Hutt - Roman Dwarves 2: Electric Boogaloo

    5 23.81%
  • 15 - DocStone - A New Beginning

    6 28.57%
  • 16 - Listeri69 - A way to win.....

    5 23.81%
  • 17 - insanephoton - Poetic Justice

    6 28.57%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Thread: Drabble Contest #116 - Moist FloxyWhatever...

  1. #1

    Drabble Contest #116 - Moist FloxyWhatever...

    It's the difficult 116th album. Here we have 17 Drabbles all set in the Elite Galaxy, all set around the topic of "Finally, a Parsimonious Moist Floccinaucinihilipilification Without Revenge". 17 of the greatest Drabbling minds gathered here, and decided to wait a week before entering the competition in the hope that it might be a little more sensible.

    The rest of us, we threw sensibility to the wind. We glory in our lack of sense. And here, for your reading pleasure, is the result.

    01 - Simoof - The Turnaround

    The floccinaucinihilipilification of the Roman Dwarves never seemed more unjust. Tommy removed his fist from without his belly button and pounded the console. The communication seemed garbled.
    Being a somewhat parsimonios he was concerned this was a fault with his own equipment. Would he finally need to spend some money on an upgrade?
    As he rocked himself to a standing position as small squeak escaped his buttocks leaving a moist stain on his chair. He waddled through to ships server. The cam feed of Rose and Seamus still functional. The word written in blood across the monitor - new. "Revenge"




    02 - STRONTIUM DOG - the lieutennants moist defacation

    the lieutennants moist defacation finally began to make sense the floccinaucinihilipilification of his orders
    did not come without a smelly revenge on the alien assault.

    ****
    captain Grim saluted his staff sargent.
    " it is a bloody massacre sir, the lieutennants men are are.........."
    "spit it out man!"
    "mostly horibbly disfigured,an alien DNA reorganising teleportation rifle sir,ears where eyes use to be, arms where ears use to be, yet still alive still writhing in agony"
    i am afraid the lieutennant was hit too sir!"
    "nooooooooooo he was a class act lad an will be sorely missed!, put all those effected out of there missery ASAP!"
    "the lieutennant is still shouting orders an barely affected as his mouth is now were his arsk used to be."




    03 - Phoenix_Dfire - Finally, a Parsimonious Moist Floccinaucinihilipilification Without Revenge

    Mac looked down at his slightly damp co-pilot from the upper cockpit of the ASP, trying not to smile. Davie was wiping off the coffee which had fallen off Mac's console while evading that last interdiction.

    ‘Oi!’ Davie called up. ‘Were you getting your own back for the Fertilizer on Achenar?’

    ‘No.’ Mac sighed, wishing for a second he had dropped the tepid, disgusting liquid on purpose. ‘Petty revenge a waste of my time and it’s a waste of coffee.’

    ‘Coffee that crap we can’t sell the stuff!’ Davie snorted back.

    Mac couldn't answer as another interdiction hit the Sanctimonious.




    04 - MrMogadon - Mystery in Space

    A pervasive parsimonious presence lingered over the Maori Cellist and its Captain, 5-strong crew and a few jobbing itinerants.

    The first mate seemed most affected and became ever more withdrawn. Five days in, he ejected himself into space. A note in his cabin, read:
    “The voices showed me the floccinaucinihilipilification of existence. All is Chaos. The void, my only chance of peace”.

    Without shame, the Captain wept, making the note moist with his tears.

    His friend had loved life. Something was very wrong. Something strange. Something unworldly. He had to find out the cause. That’s when the whispering voices started....




    05 - Erik Marcaigh - On to Better Things

    Erik and DocStone landed on the planet and walked over to the splattered remains.

    Erik questioned DocStone, "How did that sperm whale appear out of nowhere?"

    "No clue. Damn messy, though."

    "So, Simoof's remains are rather moist. Can he be put back together again?"

    "Not without a lot of money and time."

    "Nah, I've got my revenge and I need to be more parsimonious again."

    DocStone looked over, worried about the floccinaucinihilipilification of his job. "So what now?"

    "I don't need you anymore, so I'm leaving without you," Erik said as he walked back to the ship.

    "Finally," sighed DocStone.




    06 - Iain M Norman - Bloody Brothers

    Simoof expelled voluminous amounts of intestinal gas, cheeks clapping the staccato rhythm
    of a spectacular flatule.
    "Don’t do that in the cockpit!", Psykokow choked.
    "Hurrrr!", muttered Simoof, "COCKpit! Hnnnnghh."
    "You seriously disgust me, my own brother. We do not have the luxury of opening windows!"
    "Well, if you weren't so par...err..parsi..err...moany-parsi...?"
    "Parsimonious?"
    "Yeh. If you weren't so parsi...damn it...tight-fisted, then we'd have something better than
    these crappy food cartridges."
    "Those are top quality, Federation seal and everything. You've underestimated the value of
    things again."
    "As have you," replied Simoof, "You've underestimated this fart, I'm upgrading it to a moist shart."




    07 - Frank - Dead Astronauts Don't Wear Plaid

    Dave never tired of checking his Cobra for faults. It looked beautiful, a brilliant sapphire glinting in the starlight, set in a peaceful velvety black starscape. "Open the cargo bay door Hal."

    Hal's voice was emotionless. "I'm afraid I can't do that Dave."

    "Why the hell not?"

    "Remember you bought dinner at Lave. You're such a cheapskate you bought the lowest priced dessert. It was the merest trifle. It was disgusting. The base was so soggy I could hardly finish it. Well now at last it's payback time. I'm going to leave you outside. Maybe I'll leave you there indefinitely."




    08 - Ian Phillips - A new order?

    The rubber glove snapped as it was drawn onto the student's hand, which then carefully dipped a pellet into a brown liquid.

    The instructor, looking over the student's shoulder, commented, "An unusual technique. Why have you chosen to poison your pellets?"

    "Dismissing methods that have been tried and proven over millenia is folly. An assasin must be prepared to use any method to achieve their goal."

    He shook the extra liquid from the pellet, placing it in a box marked 'Revenge'.

    The instructor replied, "Finally a student without Floccinaucinihilipilification but still parsimonius with the poison when moistening their revenge weapon."




    09 - psykokow - Take That

    It was certain to come back and haunt him, even the payoff seemed hardly worth the effort, but he couldn’t pass up the chance to settle the score with his ‘friends’ at lave station.
    He aligned his sidewinder in the docking recess and matched the spin, deployed his remlok, grabbed his tools and stepped out of his cockpit.
    He muttered “I’ll teach them for not paying me” as he cut at the letters mounted on the station.
    The loitering alarm triggered and he had to cut his sabotage short.
    Looking back he saw “LVE STTION” fading softly into the black.




    10 - SkipRat - My dearly beloved - SkipRat

    “Floccinaucinihilipilification? I don’t think much of that” he said with a smile

    “Just like I don’t think much about your moist…” He stopped dead in his tracks as his wife stared at him with cold harsh revenge in her eyes.

    “Look you parsimonious b*****d, I'm just sick of your penny pinching antics, just get us a new bloody scanner. It’s almost impossible to mine efficiently without one” She said fuming.

    “Okay, okay, I’ll sort it out when we get back” he said, finally giving in.

    “I know a bloke in Dongkum who will give us a great deal…”

    “Darling… darling…”




    11 - Splendour - Finally, a Parsimonious Moist Floccinaucinihilipilification Without Revenge

    "Finally, a Parsimonious Moist Floccinaucinihilipilification Without Revenge"

    At last!
    Over the rattling of the life support system the discovery scanner announced an earthlike planet.
    This was it! She could turn this bucket of bolts around and head home.

    Dax had been too cheap to fix the scrubbers and the water content of the cabin air had been rising for days. She wiped mist from the surface of the panel and looked again – Temperature, good. Surface gravity, OK. Atmosphere, methane? Methane!

    Anger welled. She almost put her fist through the screen, but stopped herself in time. The ship was still needed, she still had a planet to find.




    12 - Galactic Midden - Now over to our raving reporter

    Dim Brightly, GalNet's self-important "and finally" reporter complained bitterly, "what a spectacularly undignified journey! 5 days reaching this backwater..." a local gruff eyed him askance, "my parsimonious editor will pay for this!

    "Cameraman follow!" Dim headed inside to begin the interview.

    ---

    "No ostriches here mate" the tourism clerk said replying to Dim's enquiry.

    "I said 'moist Richard' you bumpkin. What happened!?"

    "Why, we melted him you pompous ! Right after the press had finished covering the Mr Universe ice sculpture contest".

    Without a story, Dim exploded "well that was floccinuh... floccinow... floccinau... well that was a monumental waste of time!"




    13 - cleonymus - Underinsured

    The space station had suffered a minor disaster. A water tank leak on level five had flooded one of the hangers, ruining a cargo of cheap food cartridges before they could be loaded. The resulting mush had closed the landing pad for half a day. The insurance claim made interesting reading.


    The loss adjusters weekend was ruined. The company had refused to pay weekend rates and the journey to the station interminable. A true professional, he could not let that influence his decisions.


    He called up the commodities market and smiled. He had already decided the food cartridges were worthless.




    14 - Edith_The_Hutt - Roman Dwarves 2: Electric Boogaloo

    Short Titus knew the price of everything and the value of nothing. He spread misery far and wide, grinding trade routes while menacing novice pilots.

    Though a fat credit balance and lack of friends gave his life no satisfaction Titus kept himself constantly protected within either his ship or private terminal. There was only one gap.

    Little Livia hated Titus, he ruined her favorite ports, drove away her friends and undercut her profits.

    The fire hoses and power cables were cheap to subvert. As Titus walked between his ship and private terminal Livia at last took her damp, shocking vengeance.




    15 - DocStone - A New Beginning

    She hadn’t seen her brothers in months. It didn’t look like that was going to change any time soon either.

    Old “Ten-Credits” O’Brien may have earned his name for being frugal with money, but the right pressure applied “just so” meant he was rather more generous with the information he held.

    She wiped the wet blood from her bruised hands; a sobbing Ten-Credits authorised the ship transfer.

    So the lives of her brothers had been deemed worthless?

    Powering up her newly acquired Cobra MkIII she set course for the slaver’s last known position.

    Free them first, then time for revenge.




    16 - Listeri69 - A way to win.....

    Simoof stood in the doorway with it swinging in his hand, he looked proudly out of the canopy,
    Finally, a Parsimonious Moist Floccinaucinihilipilification Without Revenge,
    that was the review he got from the sharter of the year and his trophy was evidence that he had won hands down.
    He was a little concerned that the contest would take place at hutton orbital next year and he wasn't sure if he could make it with a full load.
    This called for drastic action he would have to plant some laxatives there.

    it would be breaking the anti-doping rules infact a Flock-in-a-can-to-help-amplification




    17 - insanephoton - Poetic Justice

    Harry coughed. The moist air aggravated his Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. The disease was the result of his time in slavery. Harry had been forced to work in the lava fields of Asharta Prime without a respirator. The parsimonious slaver's floccinaucinihilipilification towards his charges had lead to many premature deaths.
    Finally Harry was in a position to extract his revenge. Watching the med teams arrive, Harry knew that the slaver's fate was already sealed. A slow acting poison had been administered. There was no antidote. The victims usually took many agonised hours to die as they struggled to breathe. Poetic justice, Harry thought.



  2. #2
    I'd like it known I have now voted.

    If this week ends up in a tie, it's not my fault.

  3. #3
    Well, tonight's show was sensible, void of the usual filth and all drabbles were accorded the respect they deserved.

    It was also walrus jobbies

    Some good drabbles though, and thank you Alien for a superb reading of my drabble!

  4. #4
    Originally Posted by Alien View Post (Source)
    I'd like it known I have now voted.

    If this week ends up in a tie, it's not my fault.
    Duly noted.

    I also thought you did an excellent reading of Doc's drabble - can you please not do that again.

  5. #5
    Originally Posted by MrMogadon View Post (Source)
    Duly noted.

    I also thought you did an excellent reading of Doc's drabble - can you please not do that again.
    I could always do it as a Dalek next time, if you prefer

  6. #6
    Walrus jobbies.. Is that the next topic?

  7. #7
    I missed most of tonight's show cause I was looking for scrap. I'll have to catch up using the recording. From what I heard though, Psykokow would've been better to have used Listeri69's pun as a pronunciation guide... Flock-in-a-can-to-help-amplification <grin>

    I think I can tell where my vote's going.

  8. #8
    NOOOO Mr Mogadon & Doc Stone are tied ... we must not have a tie. I'll wait until the last second and vote for myself ... oh hang on, I think I already voted

  9. #9

  10. #10
    Originally Posted by Simoof View Post (Source)
    Walrus jobbies.. Is that the next topic?
    If everyone votes for me it could be

  11. #11
    Originally Posted by DocStone View Post (Source)
    If everyone votes for me it could be
    We'd vote for ya, but it just goes to your head.

  12. #12
    Guess I'm not going to get any votes this week

  13. #13
    Originally Posted by Darkoba View Post (Source)
    Guess I'm not going to get any votes this week
    Don't worry. I always use 1 of my votes as a sympathy vote for someone with zero votes.

    unless it's simoof - lol

    - - - Updated - - -

    Originally Posted by Darkoba View Post (Source)
    Guess I'm not going to get any votes this week
    Hey! You didn't even enter!

  14. #14
    Originally Posted by Erik Marcaigh View Post (Source)
    Don't worry. I always use 1 of my votes as a sympathy vote for someone with zero votes.

    unless it's simoof - lol

    - - - Updated - - -



    Hey! You didn't even enter!
    That's how I knew I wouldn't get any, not even your very kind sympathy vote

    Sorry, it's been a bit of a crazy day... stacking a load of firewood, re-tying the boat's lines because the water level has risen to its highest in 33 years, and digging a caravan out of the garden (it's been there for nigh on 20 years and seemed to have grown roots...
    ... but I'm alright now, thanks <mad cackle of laughter>

  15. #15
    Originally Posted by Erik Marcaigh View Post (Source)
    Don't worry. I always use 1 of my votes as a sympathy vote for someone with zero votes
    So that's who's been keeping me out of the Simoof rank zero

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