View Poll Results: You can vote for three

Voters
18. You may not vote on this poll
  • 01 - Erik Marcaigh - Dockers: The Lost Episode

    1 5.56%
  • 02 - moose666 - Always have a kill team on standby

    2 11.11%
  • 03 - RoyalHankey - A simple mistake.

    2 11.11%
  • 04 - Saint John Hawke - Mistaken Identity

    2 11.11%
  • 05 - Darkoba - In Doctors we trust - or do we?

    3 16.67%
  • 06 - Edith_The_Hutt - The Frontier GP

    8 44.44%
  • 07 - DaddyHoggy - Dinner is served

    4 22.22%
  • 08 - Listeri69 - Probing for the truth...

    2 11.11%
  • 09 - Frank - The Jesus Complex

    7 38.89%
  • 10 - FelixBast - The Good Doctor

    6 33.33%
  • 11 - Simoof - Doctor Fingerbum and the Buttochs of Doom

    3 16.67%
  • 12 - insanephoton - The Truth about Bast

    2 11.11%
  • 13 - cleonymus - The strange case of the station thief

    1 5.56%
  • 14 - Alien - You always joke I copy and paste my drabble from other people's ... so this week, I did.

    3 16.67%
  • 15 - Ventura_ - Dr Tree

    1 5.56%
  • 16 - Sneevus - Russian through customs.

    4 22.22%
Multiple Choice Poll.
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Take some stories and call me in the morning #153: Doctors, Stone

  1. #1

    Take some stories and call me in the morning #153: Doctors, Stone



    They say laughter is the best medicine, but its not as good as a bunch of stories that will amuse and confound you so much you won't even give that slashed jugular artery a second thought.

    Our very own DocStone won the contest last week, but did he call? Did he tell us how much he appreciated our votes? Did he set the next topic?.. no he didn't.

    We had to make up a topic ourselves. And through a combination of dice throws, navel gazing, and contacting the dead, we came up with the topic of "Doctors and Stone"

    Psykokow hosts the Abraka-Drabble live reading show and comedy hour at 7pm GMT, Fridays on...
    HUTTON ORBITAL RADIO! http://streaming.radionomy.com/HuttonOrbitalRadio (audio only)
    LAVE RADIO! http://laveradio.com/ (audio only)
    TWITCH! http://www.twitch.tv/psykokow/ (audio & visual)
    and will also be uploaded to his You-tube channel & anywhere else he can inflict the world with our drabblings!

    Make sure you come back on Sunday night to see how well your Drabble has done. At least come back before Monday 15:00 to check if you're the one that has to provide us with a topic.

    Please vote. And a warning to all of the contestants, don't vote for yourselves. Anyone caught voting for themselves shall be transferred over to Dr Shipman's practice.






    01 - Erik Marcaigh - Dockers: The Lost Episode

    "Is this going to take long," Simoof groaned. "I've got a doctors appointment in 30 minutes on the other side of the station."

    Jack Soffalot looked him over, "You're sweating profusely, man. Is there anything you'd like to declare to customs before I check your bags?"

    "I haven't got no bags," Simoof exclaimed. "It's just me to an emergency doctors visit!"

    "Who would use a station doctor if you were already on the ground? This stinks. And so do you. That odor... Full cavity search on this one!"

    "Wot?! No!"

    And that's when Simoof died from smuggling Xian Essence Stones.




    02 - moose666 - Always have a kill team on standby

    "Ah, Doctor Maxwell, you're doing the autopsy today?"
    "Yes, I've heard that this fellow has an interesting collection of diseases."
    "Really?, didn't he get killed by falling into a frameshift drive?"
    "Yes, but I want to examine the effect the FSD had on the infections he had."

    The junior doctor read through the quick call list on the communicator.
    "Cleaning crew, cafeteria, kill tea... wait, a morgue has a kill team?"
    "Yes."
    "Shouldn't anything that's in the morgue, by definition, be already kill-teamed?"
    "For 99% of the time yes, but sometimes they re-killing, look up Simoof on the medical database."




    03 - RoyalHankey - A simple mistake.

    Simoof went to the doctors,
    Doctor said 'Can I help you'
    Simoof replied 'No, I'm beyond help'
    Doctor says 'Why'
    Simoof replied 'I went on this mission to find a pair of kittens'
    'Yes' said Doctor
    Simoof said 'I failed miserably, couldn't find them'
    'I looked everywhere and Captain Winnard said if I cant find them there is something wrong with me
    Doctor replied 'You sure he meant to see a doctor and not the vets or animal rescue centre'
    Simoof said 'Maybe' and went to see Winnard.
    He told Winnard where he been and Winnard said 'Docks not Doctors'




    04 - Saint John Hawke - Mistaken Identity

    Psykokow was coming back from a mission to kill Simoof.
    His mission was a success, it cost him though.
    His ship was a total mess.
    FSD was useless.
    Lazers was misfiring.
    Fuel Scoop was burnt out.
    Nav Computer couldn't even program any waypoints.
    In fact the only thing that worked was the landing gear.
    He went to get a drink and the glass was even full of holes.
    It was a hard fight, but he did it.
    In walked his leader.
    Rascon said you failed your mission.
    Psykokow said I didn't.
    'You killed Kerrash' Rascon replied.
    'Go to the Docks'.




    05 - Darkoba - In Doctors we trust - or do we?

    I caught a chill while exploring an ice world, then while I still had the chill, I went to a tropical planet and ate some questionable grubs. I think that's when the virus or bacteria got a hold on my immune system.

    Went to see the medic at Barnard's. She examined me, checked my blood then sat me opposite her to explain the results.

    "It's a pretty harmless bug that affects the psyche, causing temporary paranoia. Nothing to worry about; it'll wear off soon."

    It's all very well saying that, but I'm not so sure, listening to the Doc's tone.




    06 - Edith_The_Hutt - The Frontier GP

    Primrose Dusang was a legend around here, before we got too much law. Travelled between outposts in a customised Adder, cargo bay converted into a surgical suite. Toothache or tuberculosis, you had it and she fixed it, or gave you enough drugs to stop the pain.

    These days we have medical licences, autodocs and a full-time doctor on staff, there's no place for Doc Dusang any more, she moved on.

    So if you're in the backside of nowhere with your guts aching and your tongue purple, start looking for a little green Adder, and start praying you find the Doctor.




    07 - DaddyHoggy - Dinner is served

    It felt odd to be planet-side again after 10 years of mining and zero-g. He shuffled towards the beautifully presented dinner table. His ex-wife, Natasha, gave him a look that said, ‘pitiful man, I’m well rid of you’ as he flopped into his chair.

    Dinner progressed slowly. He knew his gasps were putting people off. Just as desert was served there was a sound like a spoon being pulled from a trifle. He slumped onto the table, watching through fading eyes as the spider worms erupted from his chest.

    “Somebody call a Doctor!” screamed Natasha.

    He gave a gurgling laugh…




    08 - Listeri69 - Probing for the truth...

    'Right Mr kow can you read the chart for me?'

    'Oh yes at number 5 is Susan Boils with Boil Rap featuring EssTD'

    'Not that Chart, The eye chart'

    'Sorry'

    'The reason you are here is during docking you crushed 5 engineers 2 dockers and a little old lady who'd taken her sidewinder out to get her sunday roast...we're going to have to perform a cavity search'

    'I told you it was a faulty docking computer'

    'Just assume the position Dr Stone will be in shorty'

    Psykokow felt a cold hand on his shoulder followed moments later by another...




    09 - Frank - The Jesus Complex

    "Keep back!", yelled Dr. Peter, "Initiate a level 4 quarantine lockdown! We could be looking at a galactic pandemic here.

    We thought ourselves gods; walking amongst the poor, healing the sick. We were trying to do good, help them out." Peter sighed, "Nature has a way of piercing over-inflated egos.

    When they told us that our miniature mechanical miracle nanobactericides weren't working, we assumed they couldn't be right. But I just ran some tests on my own biopsy."

    He threw the microscope view up onto the wall and explained, "This bacterium has evolved a way to short circuit our nanobots."




    10 - FelixBast - The Good Doctor

    “The Doctor here is a genuine miracle worker.
    A couple years back, me and him were stranded on some backwater planet with a man whose belly got split wide open across the waist.
    The Doc didn’t have his usual kit with him, but managed to keep this fella alive for two weeks while we waited for rescue.
    Poor guy screamed the whole time, kept begging us to kill him. But the Doc is a good Imperial citizen and kept that fella alive until his final confession.
    Yup, I reckon the Doc here is the best interrogator in the whole Empire.”




    11 - Simoof - Doctor Fingerbum and the Buttochs of Doom

    I don't want to hear your excuses!! Just do it NOW!!"
    -----------------------------------------------
    Tears. The family sat inconsolable in the doctors office.
    How quickly things change, blink and you miss everything.
    Frank, he had been an old unpleasant man, hardened from years of fleet service.
    No longer would anyone fear him or quake at the sound of his voice.
    From this moment forward all unpleasant memories forgotten.
    Remembering Franks face when the doctor had walked into the office. The moment of revelation brought the tears stronger/ faster.
    Kindly, the doctor spoke,
    "Next time, please don't command the janitor to check your prostate."




    12 - insanephoton - The Truth about Bast

    People call us the 'Heroes of Bast'. They've even put up a stone monument to us. It's not a title we use as we don't really feel that we deserve it. We prefer to be known as the Glorious Bast Hards.


    That's not to diminish what we did. But we were safe in our ships, we had the option to run away. The real heroes were the doctors and nurses risking their lives to treat the sick and the researchers working on the cure. Without them all our efforts would have been fruitless. When people talk of heroes, remember them.




    13 - cleonymus - The strange case of the station thief

    It's strange love.
    Found in Lave university cellar living like a cockroach in pile of black wood.
    The robbing son of a rotwang was taking copper.
    Who is he? A brown barnet and high skull. He looks weird, an evil Savage, the man chews stone like a crusher.
    Morover we can do little about him. As fast as we block him, the goodfellow goes on the Lamb.
    Send the facts down the hall with maximus rush, the lecturer often bellows about his skills.
    He will winkle a name or weave an explanation.
    Or else Jake'l rustle up a song instead.

    -----
    Starter for one - Dr Strangelove




    14 - Alien - You always joke I copy and paste my drabble from other people's ... so this week, I did.


    "Ah, Doctor Maxwell, you're doing diseases?
    It's a pretty harmless disease that affects Psykokow Nothing to worry about; it'll wear off soon.
    So if your backside your guts aching and your tongue purple, start looking for a Dr Stone
    Dinner progressed slowly. He knew his gasps were putting people off. Psykokow felt a cold hand on his shoulder followed moments later by another...
    We prefer to be known as Frank
    Full cavity search on this Psykokow
    "Wot? No!"
    These days we have medical licences
    'Just assume the position Dr Stone will be in shorty'
    And that's when You killed Simoof




    15 - Ventura_ - Dr Tree

    Matt shouted “Chafing, get out of that Pod or I will charge you for the use, besides I found something that will make you laugh”.
    Chafing sat down, looking.
    Breaking news “Simoof attached by small Pine Tree”, the incident happen early today as he was walking his dog, he slipped and fell, but the person behind him carrying a small tree also tripped, launching the tree into the air and landing on Simoof’s behind” the reporter continued trying hard not to laugh, “His Doctor assures us that Mr Moof is comfortable and only got a Small pineprick from the tree.”




    16 - Sneevus - Russian through customs.

    Last call for Orca flight 2781 to Sol. Last call.
    "They're going to nab you."
    "Shut up little man, I see Doktor, everything sorted."
    "They left your face the same, they'll still recognise you."
    "You worry too much. Meet me on other side of gate."
    "Well, it's your funeral..."
    ...
    "See, no problem."
    "How in space did you manage that?"
    "Look at dokuments."
    "Ok... who the hell is Mr Oak?"
    "He me, I take these to doktor, now I this man."
    "You had them forged?"
    "Yes, went to doktor, he doktored them."
    "That's not how that... Just... Get on the ship."



  2. #2
    Umm .... could a moderator please edit the first post and change my drabble from the mess to the following, non-quoted version?

    "Ah, Doctor Maxwell, you're doing diseases?
    It's a pretty harmless disease that affects Psykokow Nothing to worry about; it'll wear off soon.
    So if your backside your guts aching and your tongue purple, start looking for a Dr Stone
    Dinner progressed slowly. He knew his gasps were putting people off. Psykokow felt a cold hand on his shoulder followed moments later by another...
    We prefer to be known as Frank
    Full cavity search on this Psykokow
    "Wot? No!"
    These days we have medical licences
    'Just assume the position Dr Stone will be in shorty'
    And that's when You killed Simoof

  3. #3
    For those that like such things - here are the references in my Drabble with their less obvious sources...

    Dr Strangelove
    Stargate atlantis Dr Keller
    Monsters v aliens Dr Cockroach
    War of the worlds Dr Blackwood
    Lost in space Dr robinson
    Metropolis Dr C A Rotwang
    The Thing Dr Copper
    Dr Who
    Back to the future Dr Emmet Brown
    Big bang Theory Dr Barnett
    x files Dr Scully
    Stargate atlantis Dr Elizabeth Weir
    Ausin powers Dr Evil
    Doc Savage
    Dr Fu Manchu
    Andromeda Strain Doc Jeremy Stone
    Star trek Dr Crusher
    Dr Moreau
    Dr Dolittle
    Dr Faustus
    Evolution Dr Harry Block
    Buck Rodgers Dr Goodfellow
    Stargate SG1 Dr Elizabeth Lam
    Robocop2 Dr Juliette Faxx
    Day After tommorrow Dr Lucy Hall
    Planet of the apes Dr Maximus
    Stargate univers Dr Nicolas Rush
    Silence of lambs Dr Lecter
    Coma Dr Bellows
    Big bang Dr Winkle
    Men in black Dr Weaver
    Dr Jekyll
    Space 1999 Bergman Russell
    Doctor Who Dr river song

    With thanks to Wikipedia.

  4. #4
    Originally Posted by Alien View Post (Source)
    Umm .... could a moderator please edit the first post and change my drabble from the mess to the following, non-quoted version?

    "Ah, Doctor Maxwell, you're doing diseases?
    It's a pretty harmless disease that affects Psykokow Nothing to worry about; it'll wear off soon.
    So if your backside your guts aching and your tongue purple, start looking for a Dr Stone
    Dinner progressed slowly. He knew his gasps were putting people off. Psykokow felt a cold hand on his shoulder followed moments later by another...
    We prefer to be known as Frank
    Full cavity search on this Psykokow
    "Wot? No!"
    These days we have medical licences
    'Just assume the position Dr Stone will be in shorty'
    And that's when You killed Simoof

    Well, you should have written it that way!
    Or at least re-written it in the format you wanted it to be presented in under all your quotes!
    Silly Alien.

  5. #5
    You cant say can you? See!! Winnard is a liar.

  6. #6
    I find it increasingly strange the way the voting is going these days. For that reason, and not wishing to vote for myself, I have cast only two votes this time.

  7. #7
    Ok Audio is up on Itunes
    or our rss feed here
    or direct here

    And video is up


  8. #8
    Congrats to the Hutt!!!

  9. #9
    Yeah, congrats to Edith_the_Hutt and to Frank for a close second

  10. #10
    Thank you to everyone who voted, there were a lot of good drabbles this week

    In honour of the Drabble thread about to hit 10,000 I choose "The Last Post" as a topic.