View Poll Results: Which three stories scrub up the nicest

Voters
19. You may not vote on this poll
  • 01 - T.j - The joys of being a Frontier Moderator.

    7 36.84%
  • 02 - Frank - Aerosol Spray

    9 47.37%
  • 03 - Galactic midden - spills and thrills

    4 21.05%
  • 04 - Psykokow - Wash your face!

    2 10.53%
  • 05 - Falkenherz - - untitled - (98)

    1 5.26%
  • 06 - Listeri69 - A man of many talents.......

    4 21.05%
  • 07 - Ian Phillips - You first

    5 26.32%
  • 08 - insanephoton - Cleaning up for Michael

    5 26.32%
  • 09 - Erik Marcaigh - Another "Let's Pick On Psykokow" Drabble

    2 10.53%
  • 10 - Splendour - It's good working for the filth.

    4 21.05%
  • 11 - MrMogadon - A Misunderstanding

    4 21.05%
  • 12 - azdour - Revenge is best served gold

    9 47.37%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Thread: Drabble Poll: Dirty Work

  1. #1

    Drabble Poll: Dirty Work

    The Prologue

    Friends Romans, countrymen. Lend me your ears. We have come here to praise these Drabbles not bury them.

    We have 12 of the most scintillating stories you've ever read, each one better than the last. Well, that's only if you've sorted them in order of merit. The subject this week was picked by MrMogadon and was "Dirty Work".

    We're very democratic here on this forum. Everyone is entitled to a vote. That's everyone apart from women and slaves of course. Just vote on the above list. It's multiple choice but please limit your choices to just the three.

    Ooh! Ahh! Missus

    Anyone caught voting for their own Drabble will be forced to wash Psykokow's onesie after he's had a particularly hot haggis curry.


    LISTEN TO THE DRABBLES HERE

  2. #2

    Feast your eyes on these delights

    01 - T.j - The joys of being a Frontier Moderator.

    The stench was unbelievable, I held my breath as I dug in again,

    I was sure I would pass out..... soon(tm)

    I emptied the airlock for the umpteenth time, my eyes stung as my olfactory system mercifully shut down to protect itself from imploding.

    I wished to God I'd hidden when the PM arrived.

    Mucking out Psykokow wasn't what I had in mind when I become a Moderator.

    Why the hell did Michael give him Haggis Curry again???

    Should the ships hull actually melt like that???

    I sighed in blessed relief as the hull gave out and my torture ended.



    02 - Frank - Aerosol Spray

    Bob wore an immaculate boilersuit. He pored over the holodisplays in his plush office. The heatpumps had run longer than recommended but he liked to use every opportunity he could to shed as much heat as possible.

    He hadn't needed to contact docking control but felt it was a common courtesy. He barked a command at the console. "Purge!"

    An Orca Cruiser just happened to be at the correct position for the star's light to refract through the droplets. The passengers ooh-ed and ahh-ed at the iridescent spirals wafting from the station.

    The pilot left the rest of his sandwich.



    03 - Galactic midden - spills and thrills

    Mopping up, as he called it, was what Jake Loth enjoyed the most about his job.

    He'd worked for his boss Broo Mandel for three months in Cleanups Removals And Placements, when he experienced his latest brush with the filthy underhand tactics of rival corporations.

    The instigators were unscrupulous liquidation firm Debt-All and the indiscreet "cleaner" for hire agencies Die Son and Clean Ex. Together they'd exposed CEO Bo Tumdaribble's fetish with dairy in the Kowgate scandal. Now he had to go.

    Jake Loth smiled as he signalled for wipe mode, happy to have got rid of that udder embarrassment.



    04 - Psykokow - Wash your face!

    He used all his strength to squeeze his frame into the tight onesie, its strong elastic burst into life pulling his flabby body into a more pleasing shape.
    The shoes where uncomfortable and tricky to walk in, but it was a necessary suffering.
    Smearing mustard over his face he smiled as he headed out onto the stage.
    Federation military had long subscribed to entertaining the troops with the biggest acts in galactic music, but something was very wrong as boos echoed into the air when Ian Phillips took the stage to sing.
    Admiral Frank, checked the form.. See Ian Djion.



    05 - Falkenherz - - untitled - (98)

    "... aww, man, those panicky bureaucrats, I tell ya! Thought I could make some good rep for a change, make some of them alleged pirate scum suck vaccum. Naw, man, nothing. Some dodgy Siders you dinna know what they play, some lonely haulers. Only suspi´cuz Viper I caught warped the moment my cannons swung at his dirty very much wanted kohlrabi!"

    "Well, erm", replies one of them, "actually, it might be that we are those they write about in GalNet News Transmissions..."

    Oooops.

    - last reported surveillance data before firefight in "The Rusty Bucket", Freeport, Level -12, Corridor 18



    06 - Listeri69 - A man of many talents.......

    Admiral Frank checked the remainder of the list....
    See Ian Dijon went down badly, but what's Agent P doing with that Huge Pan.
    Cooking with P, a demonstration of the best of Chinese and Lavian cooking.
    Agent P arrived on the stage naked apart from a plastic apron.
    Suddenly the music started and the lights dimmed, a red glow lit up the auditorium
    First I'm going to take some Trumble and chop it finely, then take some garlic. Agent P started to take off his apron
    the crowd gasped. 'Well someones got to do the "flirty wok" Said Agent P



    07 - Ian Phillips - You first

    "There is NOTHING that would induce me to go in there!"

    "Well, someone's got to do it."

    "Absolutely - someone who is NOT me."

    "He's harmless enough, and dressed up in that pink onsie he's also pretty cute.

    "CUTE? You call that.... travesty of a human being, CUTE?""

    "Tell you what - If you think he's so 'cute' you go and break the news to him."

    "Well - OK then."

    Psykokow opened the door and cautiously went in.

    Reighdar slammed the door yelling "Frank, the Janx is finished!" as he locked it.

    He sauntered away happily humming an old tune.



    08 - insanephoton - Cleaning up for Michael

    In the bowels of the station Ian opened a hatch and beckoned Kow to follow him.

    'Are you sure this is the place, Ian? It stinks'

    'You know what the Moderator Society is like. We don't want outsiders to know our secrets.'

    'I know, but you'd think they could find somewhere nicer'

    'This is the place'

    'Where is everyone?' Kow asked just as Ian struck his head with a wrench. Ian then rolled the body off the gantry into the whirling blades of the effluent treatment plant below.

    Michael's orders had been clear. 'Dispose of Kow and leave no trace.'



    09 - Erik Marcaigh - Another "Let's Pick On Psykokow" Drabble

    Asha lowed and went a bit unsteady on her hooves.

    "What's the matter, dear," he asked as he led her to the barn. "The heat's been too much for us both."

    Kalran stepped back out and looked over his crops. Asha could only produce so much fertilizer, and the canister that used to have Frank inside had gone to pot.

    A few hours later, he was in the marketplace, pinching manure, sniffing it, and tasting it. Coming across one specimen that was about as rotten as Frank's carcass was.

    "How much for the cow?"

    "Ain't a cow. It's a Psykokow."



    10 - Splendour - It's good working for the filth.

    Soft music played as the pilots stood around looking uncomfortable in hired suits. On one wall a banner was projected proclaiming ‘The Reorte Pilots Federation, Class of ’89 Reunion’

    Shen spotted Doris at the bar as usual, and strolled over.

    “How’s business?” she asked.

    “Crap for traders.” Doris sighed. “You coppers are like pigs in muck with these pirates to chase. With ‘taxes’ I just can’t make ends meet.”

    “Really? I though you said the trade was sh*t hot?”

    “The bottom dropped out of the market. Turns out biowaste is just hot sh*t. Or frozen sh*t once you’ve jettisoned it.”



    11 - MrMogadon - A Misunderstanding

    The muted strains of legendary Mauves phimbralist, Quince Pompadieu floated gently in the air and the silver speckled slate walls of the hallway ran like a fairy’s wish towards the black onyx table at the end of the hall.

    Turning left at the table, the two heavily armed thugs moved towards the spacious, opulent lounge area. “Sean, you said he was a plumber", whispered Mad Mick. "This ‘aint no plumber’s gaff?” .

    ‘I think he misunderstood “wet work” during his briefing‘, a quiet voice suggested, as the blade entered the rear of Sean’s neck, severing the spinal cord. ‘Let’s chat’



    12 - azdour - Revenge is best served gold

    The station commander laughed evilly as the secret station in Slough came to life for the first time.

    Canisters sped along the maglev lanes hurtling towards the many waiting transport ships.

    First stage: reprogram the canister to give it the id of gold.

    Second stage: fill with toxic waste.

    A full transporter would then fly to random places in the galaxy, dropping the canisters and leave an unknown signal emitter.

    Soon reports spread of commanders arrested for selling waste as gold or better still, stations destroying them.

    The commander smiled, “That will teach them to dump their dirty work here”.



  3. #3
    Sir T.j is offline
    ...isn't sure what's going on.
    Volunteer Moderator Sir T.j's Avatar
    A great bunch of Drabbles this week.

    Voted for my faves.

  4. #4
    Looks like it could be another close run one this week.
    Cmdr Emarr Mogadon of the Negligible Impact
    NOSTALGIA: It's not what it used to be

  5. #5
    Ooh! Second place. And in such illustrious company as well.

    This and that lovely mercenary bonus pack has put massive grin on my kisser

  6. #6
    Oooh... a spurt and second place - with such illustrious company
    (Credit for the image goes to Moozipan)
    Commander Reighdar One man. One ship. One galaxy.

  7. #7
    Enjoyed the Drabbles this week, voting being difficult as always.

    Pleasing to see the general levels of insanity are holding up well.

  8. #8
    I hope you join us next week Rog. It's always a pleasure reading your Drabbles.

  9. #9
    Cheers Frank - would've scribbled one this week, but have been bereft of interweb connectivity while away doing up a house.

    Newly discovered decorating tip: wear a respirator if you decide to take a belt-sander to the wonkily plastered walls in a small box room. And shut the door.

  10. #10
    Audio link for the Drabble - Ear Edition has been added to the first post of the poll..


    Enjoy and THANK YOU to Ian Phillips and Erik Marcaigh for their kind assistance.

  11. #11
    Sterling work as ever.

    But an especial thanks to Ian. I do believe that most excellent reading of my Drabble has persuaded someone to vote for it.

  12. #12
    Originally Posted by psykokow View Post (Source)
    Audio link for the Drabble - Ear Edition has been added to the first post of the poll..


    Enjoy and THANK YOU to Ian Phillips and Erik Marcaigh for their kind assistance.
    Great work again, 'Kow! It's almost a shame I'm going to do what I have planned for you in an upcoming drabble with Kalran and Asha!

  13. #13
    Originally Posted by Erik Marcaigh View Post (Source)
    Great work again, 'Kow! It's almost a shame I'm going to do what I have planned for you in an upcoming drabble with Kalran and Asha!
    You really need to get my decomposed corpse over to Minerva some time soon. If you leave it too late she won't be able to revive me.

    A simple test to see if an Orion Miner is too far gone for recovery:- hold a bottle of Janx in front of the corpse an check for any response.

  14. #14
    Originally Posted by Frank View Post (Source)
    You really need to get my decomposed corpse over to Minerva some time soon. If you leave it too late she won't be able to revive me.

    A simple test to see if an Orion Miner is too far gone for recovery:- hold a bottle of Janx in front of the corpse an check for any response.
    I'm speaking with the dead... Spooky!

    Sorry, Frank, but your corpse has been worked into and through the farmland, giving extra zing to Kalran's medicinal herb.

    No more Frank Fertilizer left, so now it's time to try some Psykokow dung! Will it be okay, or will the unknown secret ingredient (Janx in the bloodstream) ever be figured out? Only time will tell.

  15. #15
    Originally Posted by Erik Marcaigh View Post (Source)
    I'm speaking with the dead... Spooky!

    Sorry, Frank, but your corpse has been worked into and through the farmland, giving extra zing to Kalran's medicinal herb.

    No more Frank Fertilizer left, so now it's time to try some Psykokow dung! Will it be okay, or will the unknown secret ingredient (Janx in the bloodstream) ever be figured out? Only time will tell.
    Minerva is one of the greatest ever medical practitioners. Just give her the address of the farm and point out which part of the field I'd been worked into. I just hope she makes house calls.

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