There have been a lot of rant threads lately. It seems like everybody else gets to rant and, damnit, I want something to rant about, too! So I'm going to rant about people who rant too much about stupid, non-rant-worthy stuff. I feel like I want to go with the "old man / get off my lawn!" angle here. Rant commencing in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... (whoooosh!)
You know what type of gamers annoy me the most? It's a toss-up between the "Press A to Win!" and "I Want it MY Way!" ranters:
1. Press A to Win!
If you get angry that an investment of time and effort is required before reaching end-game, I dislike you. If you've ever entered a cheat code into a dev console so that you could kill all visible enemies, get infinite gold, obtain chest armor before you've earned it or reveal hidden room X, then you and I wouldn't get along. I've never understood how people can take enjoyment or satisfaction from "beating" something by cheating or taking a short-cut. It's as if the certificate on the wall matters more to them than the accomplishment. Isn't the enjoyment of an activity and the pride from winning more important than the trophy? Yes, you can still eat a fish caught in a barrel, I guess, but the best part about fishing is the fishing. You've robbed yourself of an hour of foreplay for a 10-second climax, as it were. I used to golf with a friend who counted funny. He knew that I knew he did it, but he did it anyway. Being a better golfer than me was less important to him than me THINKING he was a better golfer than me. The worst part is that he WAS better, even without cheating!
Games are meant to challenge. Without challenge, there is no satisfaction. I love turn-based, tactical strategy games and I always play them on Hard difficulty. That doesn't make me smarter or better than people who play on Normal, provided that Normal offers them comparable challenge. If I'm playing X-Com or Gloomhaven (board game), I don't want to win every scenario. I want to lose sometimes. I want setbacks to overcome, permanently-dead soldiers that I must scramble to replace and unexpected hardships that force me to out-strategize my opponent. I want to triumph only after hanging on by the skin of my teeth. That's the fun part. Why would someone want a game to be easy? Imagine a movie where the hero killed the villain in the opening credits and the rest of the movie was just him bragging about it to his friends?
2. I Want it MY Way!
You can't even get things your way at Burger King anymore. If you want every aspect of a game your way, write your own game. Until then, the developers get to decide how their game works. If you don't enjoy the game or its rules, try a different game rather than leaving a negative review. I saw a negative review on Steam yesterday from a guy "LOVES this AWESOME game! EXCEPT that until the developer provides a way for me to change the field of view, it's crap! Downvote." Years ago I was reading a Total Ware: Rome II game forum and some spoiled, entitled brat kid posted a new thread entitled "SQUALOR IS RUINING MY GAME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". Squalor in Rome II is a game mechanic that models the negative side-effects inherent in excessively-rapid growth. Though it's a critical game mechanic central to the development of an empire in a highly-detailed strategy game, it annoyed the kid that he couldn't play the game like the sandbox city-builder he wanted. Rather than LEARNING to play the game, he ranted on the forum in hopes of finding a way to circumvent Creative Assembly's design. After all, since when has clean water, public order and sanitation been necessary for the advancement of a civilization? I shredded him and called into question the legitimacy of the gene pool from which he sprang. He countered thus: "Nope, it's garbage design". Jesus wept.
Learn to live in a world that's not custom-tailored to you, kids. You're not special. None of us are. There is no perfect game any more so than there is a perfect person. Enjoy it for what it is. If you can't, keep searching for something you enjoy more. It's no crime to wish something worked differently (I, for one, REALLY want my ship auto-pilot to find a good landing spot near Guardian ruins and set down there for me instead of me inching back and forth), but knock it off with the absurd sense of entitlement that a developer somehow "owes" you something. Their contract with the purchaser is "Pay for this game, and we'll deliver you this game". Not YOUR game, THIS game. Take it or leave it.
Ahhhh. That was cathartic. I'm going to go have a smoke and I don't even smoke.
You know what type of gamers annoy me the most? It's a toss-up between the "Press A to Win!" and "I Want it MY Way!" ranters:
1. Press A to Win!
If you get angry that an investment of time and effort is required before reaching end-game, I dislike you. If you've ever entered a cheat code into a dev console so that you could kill all visible enemies, get infinite gold, obtain chest armor before you've earned it or reveal hidden room X, then you and I wouldn't get along. I've never understood how people can take enjoyment or satisfaction from "beating" something by cheating or taking a short-cut. It's as if the certificate on the wall matters more to them than the accomplishment. Isn't the enjoyment of an activity and the pride from winning more important than the trophy? Yes, you can still eat a fish caught in a barrel, I guess, but the best part about fishing is the fishing. You've robbed yourself of an hour of foreplay for a 10-second climax, as it were. I used to golf with a friend who counted funny. He knew that I knew he did it, but he did it anyway. Being a better golfer than me was less important to him than me THINKING he was a better golfer than me. The worst part is that he WAS better, even without cheating!
Games are meant to challenge. Without challenge, there is no satisfaction. I love turn-based, tactical strategy games and I always play them on Hard difficulty. That doesn't make me smarter or better than people who play on Normal, provided that Normal offers them comparable challenge. If I'm playing X-Com or Gloomhaven (board game), I don't want to win every scenario. I want to lose sometimes. I want setbacks to overcome, permanently-dead soldiers that I must scramble to replace and unexpected hardships that force me to out-strategize my opponent. I want to triumph only after hanging on by the skin of my teeth. That's the fun part. Why would someone want a game to be easy? Imagine a movie where the hero killed the villain in the opening credits and the rest of the movie was just him bragging about it to his friends?
2. I Want it MY Way!
You can't even get things your way at Burger King anymore. If you want every aspect of a game your way, write your own game. Until then, the developers get to decide how their game works. If you don't enjoy the game or its rules, try a different game rather than leaving a negative review. I saw a negative review on Steam yesterday from a guy "LOVES this AWESOME game! EXCEPT that until the developer provides a way for me to change the field of view, it's crap! Downvote." Years ago I was reading a Total Ware: Rome II game forum and some spoiled, entitled brat kid posted a new thread entitled "SQUALOR IS RUINING MY GAME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". Squalor in Rome II is a game mechanic that models the negative side-effects inherent in excessively-rapid growth. Though it's a critical game mechanic central to the development of an empire in a highly-detailed strategy game, it annoyed the kid that he couldn't play the game like the sandbox city-builder he wanted. Rather than LEARNING to play the game, he ranted on the forum in hopes of finding a way to circumvent Creative Assembly's design. After all, since when has clean water, public order and sanitation been necessary for the advancement of a civilization? I shredded him and called into question the legitimacy of the gene pool from which he sprang. He countered thus: "Nope, it's garbage design". Jesus wept.
Learn to live in a world that's not custom-tailored to you, kids. You're not special. None of us are. There is no perfect game any more so than there is a perfect person. Enjoy it for what it is. If you can't, keep searching for something you enjoy more. It's no crime to wish something worked differently (I, for one, REALLY want my ship auto-pilot to find a good landing spot near Guardian ruins and set down there for me instead of me inching back and forth), but knock it off with the absurd sense of entitlement that a developer somehow "owes" you something. Their contract with the purchaser is "Pay for this game, and we'll deliver you this game". Not YOUR game, THIS game. Take it or leave it.
Ahhhh. That was cathartic. I'm going to go have a smoke and I don't even smoke.
