Community Event / Creation Abraka Drabble The Old Official Drabble THIS IS AN EX THREAD IT IS DEADED

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DocStone

DocStone
Can we have a minutes silence please to honour one of the fallen:

wcjIIRy.png


I always knew he was a bad 'un!

:D :D :D
 
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Splendour

Splendour
Great to meet some more of you folks at Elite Meet.

I wanted to set a drabble in memory of the late great Terry Pratchet, but Death has already been used. I flirted briefly with the idea of Only You Can Save Mankind, but eventually decided to go for:

Cripple Mr Onion
 

DocStone

DocStone
Splendour said:
Great to meet some more of you folks at Elite Meet.

I wanted to set a drabble in memory of the late great Terry Pratchet, but Death has already been used. I flirted briefly with the idea of Only You Can Save Mankind, but eventually decided to go for:

Cripple Mr Onion
Click to expand...

Ah, a fitting topic for the loss of a great man. So, in true Pratchett style, here we go!

Meet Mr Onion
Interrogation rooms. Tammy didn’t really care for them, but as Dr Ted was the guest of honour she was willing to overlook her aversion just this once.

The drugs that made normal “visitors” so cooperative were having no effect, so Mr Onion* was having to resort to less sophisticated methods, namely a hammer to the knobbly bits. It wasn't going well.

“Enough” said Tammy, “no need to make him a cripple, Mr Onion. Time for the Ginger Beer Trick…….”

Dr Ted started talking. They always do…….

*The Head of Imperial Interrogation, so-called due to his ability to make people cry.
 
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Phoenix_Dfire

Phoenix_Dfire
Presidential Typos

The Federal President was stomping about her office, her latest approval ratings had put her in a foul mood, when the office comlink bleeped.

‘What!’ she snapped.

‘The Federal Intelligence Chief is here!’

A short but stocky man entered. He was carrying a small holdall which he was making sure didn’t touch his hand tailored suit. He gently laid it down on her desk.

‘As per your orders Ma’am.’

Puzzled, she opened the holdall and almost threw up.

‘What orders were these!’

He produced a memo.

‘This is supposed to read Cripple Onionhead.’ She shouted. ‘Not Cripple Mr Onion’s Head!’
 
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Goose4291

Banned
Goose4291
The Ends Justify the Means

The smuggler had been secured in the Fretensis brig, legs and arms shackled securely to the bulkhead. Across from him were several members of the Penitus Obses Ministerium.
“So…” The lead officer flipped through his case notes “Mr. ‘Onion’, I was hoping you’d be kind enough to inform me as to the name and whereabouts of your supplier.”
Onion stood defiant, not breaking his silence.
“Very well… Cripple Mr. Onion, see if that will loosen his tongue. You can reach me in the Wardroom when he starts to co-operate.”
He heard the screams start as the hatch closed behind him.
 

Frank

Frank
It's Not Plagiarism. It's Homage.

The Thargoid and Fer-de-Lance was the perfect dingy setting for a game of Cripple Mr Onion. A bunch of ne'er-do-wells hunched around a rickety table in a dark corner of the pub. Frank was the only honest player at the table. He lacked the initiative for more creative gameplay.

An ace fluttered out of Psykokow's sleeve as he pointed an accusing finger at Frank, "That's a Great Onion! you know what the odds are of getting that?"

"50/50? Beating you lot is an a million to one shot, and you either get that million to one shot or you don't!"
 
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DocStone

DocStone
Frank said:
The Thargoid and Fer-de-Lance was the perfect dingy setting for a game of Cripple Mr Onion. A bunch of ne'er-do-wells hunched around a rickety table in a dark corner of the pub. Frank was the only honest player at the table. He lacked the initiative for more creative gameplay.

An ace fluttered out of Psykokow's sleeve as he pointed an accusing finger at Frank, "That's a Great Onion! you know what the odds are of getting that?"

"50/50? Beating you lot is an a million to one shot, and you either get that million to one shot or you don't!"
Click to expand...

"Million to one shots? Happen nine time out of ten they do" :D :D :D
 

MikeSnos

MikeSnos
The Senator's Loss (or gambling's for Imperial Mugs... MUG!)

The Senator stormed into the conference room ranting and regretting backing the loser in the Buckyball run.

Pointing his wavering finger at the Chief Judge the Senator glowered and growled.

'Don't you ever do that again... I paid good money for Tj to win and you failed to make it happen!'​

Grovelling, Chief Judge Kow promised, upon the integrity of his new bookshelves, that he wouldn't fail next time.

'You're right!'​

Said the now enraged Senator, now in serious need of some Valium,

'I know Tj's useless but, this time, I want you to Cripple Mr Onion to be certain'.​
 
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Simoof

Simoof
DocStone said:
Meet Mr Onion
Interrogation rooms. Tammy didn’t really care for them, but as Dr Ted was the guest of honour she was willing to overlook her aversion just this once.
The drugs that made normal “visitors” so cooperative were having no effect, so Mr Onion* was having to resort to less sophisticated methods, namely a hammer to the knobbly bits. It wasn't going well.
“Enough” said Tammy, “no need to make him a cripple, Mr Onion. Time for the Ginger Beer Trick…….”
Dr Ted started talking. They always do…….

*The Head of Imperial Interrogation, so-called due to his ability to make people cry.
Click to expand...

THE FERVENT WINDS OF WAR - A GASTRONOMICALLY CATASTROPHICALLY ANOMALY

The Gingerbeer trick? Everything by the book.


"You don't look like your peeling too well, Mr Onion." Dr Ted mocked.


"Dr Ted, please report to the Senators office... [buuurrrpp]". The stations intercom coincided with Mr Onion dropping to the floor in a fit of crippling farts.

"See what happens when I'm taken away from my duties. I'm sure the senator will want an explanation"


Tammy sharted.
--------------------------------------
Dr Ted returned to his lab. He sat at his computer and tinkered. The Aircon hissed.


"Cancel request for Dr Ted"


"Must be something in the food." Dr Ted grinned... briefly.


Times up Tommy.
 

Darkoba

D
A Stealthy Chess Move

Hmmm. Firstly, WHY oh WHY does that quote keep appearing every time I try to post? And now, down to business...


Lord Havelock Vetinari, Patrician of Ankh-Morpok, stepped from the ramp of his Imperial Clipper, a satisfied smirk on his face. By now, the operation had been completed, the enemy removed.

A surreptitious movement in the landing bay. A glance at his time-piece.

"Ah, good. Precisely on time."

His Guild Assassin approached casually from the slurky shadows.

"It was successful?" demanded Vetinari.

"Almost milord. Just one final detail."

"What then?" Havelock Vetinari, Provost of Assassins, barely had time to raise an eyebrow before the blade slid in.

"The 'Cripple', Sirtery Onion, regrets the necessity but, with respect, you must be removed."
 
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Splendour

Splendour
King Takes Pawn

Darkoba said:
A Drabble
Click to expand...

Oooh. I can feel a response to that one coming on:

The blade pierced the heart. Twisted. Withdrew. An incredulous expression on his face, Lord Havelock Venetari slumped lifeless to the ramp of his ship.

The Guild Assassin turned to stroll away, then froze as the amused voice of Lord Havelock Venetari echoed over the landing bay speakers.

"Tut tut. Good body doubles are so hard to find, and the danger pay is not insignificant. Kindly inform the cripple Mr Onion that he can expect his next Senate review to be... extensive. Invasive even. I expect a full report of your involvement in his machinations on my desk by 0700 tomorrow."
 
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Erik Marcaigh

Erik Marcaigh
OMG, I'm tired. Just had ol' Doc put me in my place in a 'discussion'.

So I'm going to take my loopy head and make a loopy drabble. After all, I've only been up 23 hours straight now.

- - - - - Additional Content Posted / Auto Merge - - - - -

Splendour said:
Oooh. I can feel a response to that one coming on. Watch this space!
Click to expand...

Wouldn't you rather want to title it, "King Takes Prawn"?
 

Bikky

Bikky
Walking Aids

Frank had been attending Gamblers Anonymous for six years now. Everyone knew him, and everyone knew he still gambled. The cards were his favourite. This week he wasn't here.

“Where is the lazy sot?” Susan Boils asked?

“Probably still in the Thargoid drinking.” replied Darkoba

“He’s actually in the cells,” replied T.J. “He’d been playing against that copper, You know the one that thinks his nickname hides his identity. Anyway Frank caught him cheating, as we all suspected he did, so bust his knee caps with a broom handle. Two hours later Mr Onions’ friends turned up and arrested Frank.
 
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