Community Event / Creation Abraka Drabble The Old Official Drabble THIS IS AN EX THREAD IT IS DEADED

Darkoba · Dec 8, 2015

Frank said:
"Ooh! Those are nice designs! How much are they?"

Stan of Stan's Custom Paintjobs smiled gleefully "We are rather proud of them. We call it our Space Shell range. Is it design 'C' you're interested in?"

"No the next one along. Can I get that in a Cobra IV?"

"You're obviously a man of taste. I'm sure our designers can accommodate you. Won't be cheap though."

The customer smiled "Speed is more important than money. How quickly can you apply the skin?"

Stan phoned down to his workshop "We need a job done fast. It's a Space Shell 'D' Livery."

Frank! While rolling about on the floor laughing, I can't decide whether you should be ashamed of yourself, or incredibly proud of yourself!!! A classic example of a pun being so bad, yet so clever, that it is superb!!!

PS. My wife tells me I have to tell you that she likes it too, despite not being (what she calls) "spacey" (which is a matter of definition and opinion).

PPS. Outrageous!!! Still laughing!

Frank · Dec 8, 2015

The Biscuit That Tastes Worse Than Werner Herzog's Shoes

Darkoba said:
Frank! While rolling about on the floor laughing, I can't decide whether you should be ashamed of yourself, or incredibly proud of yourself!!! A classic example of a pun being so bad, yet so clever, that it is superb!!!

Proud of course. I'm so confident I'll win, I'll make this promise... If I lose I'll eat a Bourbon Cream.

Simoof · Dec 9, 2015

What have you done Frank? Everytime I read your drabble my brain reboots and I forget it.

Listeri69 · Dec 9, 2015

You got a beautiful chin....

'Your majesty? Are you ok'

'No Michelle. My niece Rachel told me she wanted a rabbit for her birthday so I offered to send her one via special delivery.
'"it'll need lots of stamps!" She said.
It was great advice. it certainly made it fit inside the card.
Then she calls me up today saying "Uncle David is a poopy head"
Anyway i got another rabbit and flowers they asked for a message I said can you put Rachel Is Perfect?
50c a letter they wanted, so i said just put the initials and the rabbit in a wooden box....

insanephoton · Dec 9, 2015

For the benefit of Erik and other non UK readers, Frank wasn't referring to this http://www.buffalotracedistillery.com/brands/bourbon-cream which appears to be an American equivalent of Baileys Irish Cream but to a biscuit http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/biscuits/previous.php3?item=16. To be honest I hadn't heard of them being called bourbon creams before ( though a quick google reveals that the Tesco own brand version are indeed called bourbon creams). I did, at first, wonder if he was referring to some strange Scottish hybrid of bourbons and custard creams.

Frank · Dec 9, 2015

Using Text As a Weapon

insanephoton said:
For the benefit of Erik and other non UK readers, Frank wasn't referring to this http://www.buffalotracedistillery.com/brands/bourbon-cream which appears to be an American equivalent of Baileys Irish Cream but to a biscuit http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/biscuits/previous.php3?item=16. To be honest I hadn't heard of them being called bourbon creams before ( though a quick google reveals that the Tesco own brand version are indeed called bourbon creams). I did, at first, wonder if he was referring to some strange Scottish hybrid of bourbons and custard creams.

Where I'm from we do refer to them as Bourbon Creams. Any mention of the single word Bourbon, regardless of context, is assumed to be the alcoholic beverage. Thank you for clearing up any misunderstandings by pointing our American Cousins over to that most excellent biscuit website.

I was unaware of the existence of Bourbon Cream a Baileys Irish Cream equivalent, but then I do tend to avoid high viscosity alcoholic beverages whenever possible. I find that they take too long to drink.

Simoof said:
What have you done Frank? Everytime I read your drabble my brain reboots and I forget it.

"Ooh! Those are nice designs! How much are they?"

Stan of Stan's Custom Paintjobs smiled gleefully "We are rather proud of them. We call it our Space Shell range. Is it design 'C' you're interested in?"

"No the next one along. Can I get that in a Cobra IV?"

"You're obviously a man of taste. I'm sure our designers can accommodate you. Won't be cheap though."

The customer smiled "Speed is more important than money. How quickly can you apply the skin?"

Stan phoned down to his workshop "We need a job done fast. It's a Space Shell 'D' Livery."

Click to expand...

I wonder where that's stranded you.

Darkoba · Dec 9, 2015

Press Release: " Insane Photon In Special Delivery! Quantum Drive a Fact!"

The scientists at Ferguson-Freed had perfected the Quantum-Drive! Creating photon-pairs colliding electrons was easy enough. Placing one of the pair in a pre-determined location wasn't, until now.

Professor Freed explained to the Press-meeting:

“The mini-collider creates the photon-pair, actually only one light-particle in two places simultaneously. Location of the ‘second’ was haphazard, unpredictable; we called it the ‘Crazy-Light-Particle’ or ‘CLiP’.

“Using a combination of graviton waves, electromagnetic fields and witch-space background radiation linked to, and controlled by advanced astro-navigation systems, we can now control the point of the CLiP’s emergence into 4D-time-space.

“The Crazy-Light-Particle is subjected to precise spatial delivery.”

Splendour · Dec 9, 2015

Not just any dry white

Hot plasma ripped through the Imperial Eagle's wing leaving a trail of recrystallizing metal.

How had it come to this? How had a successful criminal bust brought her to the brink of death?

Seizing 80 tonnes of stolen Esuseku Caviar had seriously put her in the Senator's good books, it was when he decided to serve it at a triumphal banquet it had all gone wrong.

"..of course you can't serve it without Chateau De Aegaeon. Go fetch some would you? You've got 6 hours.."

200ly jumping and scooping, loading the stupendously expensive wine, then interdiction. Damn Pirates. Damn Senators.

Galactic Midden · Dec 9, 2015

Where is everyone? c̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶!̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶d̶r̶a̶b̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶e̶l̶s̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶e̶w̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶u̶s̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶'̶v̶e̶ ̶e̶n̶t̶e̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶c̶h̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶w̶i̶n̶n̶i̶n̶g̶.̶

Oh wait, forget I said that

Frank · Dec 9, 2015

This is where everyone is...

01 - Ian Phillips - Out of place
02 - Galactic Midden - ..- .- .----. ... / -.. . ... - .-. --- -.--
03 - STRONTIUM DOG - ahhh little ones never knew that
04 - Rascon - The Aprentice - part 2
05 - moose666 - The Unknown Agitator Part 2 : Intercepted delivery
06 - Frank - A convoluted set up and a weak pun
07 - Listeri69 - You got a beautiful chin....
08 - Darkoba - Press Release: " Insane Photon In Special Delivery! Quantum Drive a Fact!"
09 - Splendour - Not just any dry white

"Special Delivery" is a great topic. I'd have expected more entries by now.

AliJax · Dec 10, 2015

I can't go on like this

John, Paul, George & Ringo looked upon the commander of the Viper, drool flowed onto the switches in a constant stream like lava.

The Red Anaconda brushed into “The Middle Finger” trying to awake Joy-Joy, she fell onto the floor and gazed in awe at the sight before her – “What the 'blazes' do you four 'weasles' want” !

Paul, in his poshest scouse accent hailed Joy-Joy “we need your cargo of beer”.

She Looked at the Ordinance & said “what the 'tampax' for?”

“We are starting a Radio Station, and need to get 'hammered' before we can go on Air”

Simoof · Dec 10, 2015

The Pundulum swings, but no clock ticks.

The courier was missing, as was the batch of 'that book' from Slough.

The P.I. had been paid well to track down the consignment. Timing was critical. The consumer planet was reaching its pinnacle of financial movement. Decembermas - money controlled the people, books controlled the future.

He had tracked the courier to a medical facility, the medic had, at a high cost, released the patient records. Blood toxins critical - possible poisoning.

The courier had been referred to another nearby facility - Why? And why Hull?

"Wa specialise in hearts n lungs." the medic contributed, "I 'spect Hull dae liver, eh?"

Simoof · Dec 10, 2015

Thanks for letting me borrow this Frank. You can have it back now.

Frank · Dec 10, 2015

Simoof said:
Thanks for letting me borrow this Frank. You can have it back now.

It just goes to show you should never lend your tools out. That crowbar was designed to do a little gentle prising. I can see the copper marks where you've been dunting it with a mallet.

Alien · Dec 10, 2015

Failed Delivery

Galactic Midden has twisted my arm to write a drabble for this week.

The topic is special delivery, unfortunately, I can't think of any special delivery to write about.
And set it in the Elite Dangerous universe.
Nope. Nothing is coming to mind.
Keep trying to rack my glass brain.
Absolutely no drabble to write.
Really hard to think of something.
Doubt I'll even manage to win anyway.

Oh wait, it has be set in the Elite Dangerous universe, doesn't it?

Alien had an antidote as cargo, but ran out of fuel.
And that's when Alien's failed delivery killed Simoof.

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EDIT: There is something very subtly clever about this drabble that when I reveal what it is in about 15 days time, you'll all wish you had voted for this drabble. If you do get the subtle cleverness of this drabble, please contact me privately and I'll tell you if you're right.

Frank · Dec 10, 2015

Alien said:
Galactic Midden has twisted my arm to write a drabble for this week.

The topic is special delivery, unfortunately, I can't think of any special delivery to write about.
And set it in the Elite Dangerous universe.
Nope. Nothing is coming to mind.
Keep trying to rack my glass brain.
Absolutely no drabble to write.
Really hard to think of something.
Doubt I'll even manage to win anyway.

Oh wait, it has be set in the Elite Dangerous universe, doesn't it?

Alien had an antidote as cargo, but ran out of fuel.
And that's when Alien's failed delivery killed Simoof.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EDIT: There is something very subtly clever about this drabble that when I reveal what it is in about 15 days time, you'll all wish you had voted for this drabble. If you do get the subtle cleverness of this drabble, please contact me privately and I'll tell you if you're right.

I can't think of anything special that happens on the 25th December... 15th December is the day I've got marked on my calendar.

Edith_The_Hutt · Dec 10, 2015

Next to Godliness

"Yo Ben! Special Delivery!" The fist-sized parcel tumbled through the Hutton Cantina air and landed roughly at the trucker's table. Ben turned, puzzled, to Bihn, the normally tacit barkeep. "Just got word from Al-Din flight tower, your daughter's ship is running early. You've got eighty minutes"

"Eighty minutes for what?" said Ben, opening the package to reveal a small, sweet smelling block of green soap.

"Eighty minutes to clean yourself up, yer filthy trucker. Or did you want to meet your little girl smelling of cockpit?"

Tears of joy ran over Ben's face as he raced to the shower block.

Simoof · Dec 10, 2015

Frank said:
I can't think of anything special that happens on the 25th December... 15th December is the day I've got marked on my calendar.

15th - you mean the 19th obviously

Galactic Midden · Dec 10, 2015

only 13 this week

such a good topic too

insanephoton · Dec 10, 2015

Delivering Christmas to Cambridge

Here I am at Cambridge Outpost, 400 light years from home making a special delivery.
The lights of my Clipper highlight the swirling flakes of methane snow. A convoy of buggies shuttles between my ship and the outpost like ants raiding a picnic. Maybe next time I'll use a Python instead, it would be much easier for everyone.
Finally they've finished unloading my ship. The party has just got started and unfortunately I've got to leave. Bidding them farewell, I head home to my own family. With a bit of luck I might get there before the kids wake up.