Welcome to the Drabble show. Last week's competition was an outright win by Alien, congratulations. She decided this week's topic would be "It's Oozy And It's Green"
Psykokow hosts the Abraka-Drabble live reading show and "comedy" hour at 7pm GMT, Fridays on...
HUTTON ORBITAL RADIO! http://streaming.radionomy.com/HuttonOrbitalRadio (audio only)
LAVE RADIO! http://laveradio.com/ (audio only)
TWITCH! http://www.twitch.tv/psykokow/ (audio & visual)
and will also be uploaded to his You-tube channel & anywhere else he can inflict the world with our drabblings!
Come back on Sunday night to see how well your Drabble has done. At least come back before Monday 15:00 to check if you're the one that has to provide us with a topic.
Please vote. And a warning to all of the contestants, don't vote for yourselves. Anyone caught voting for themselves shall be covered in something Oozy And Green
01 - Edith_The_Hutt - Avatars
Progenitor Lael Wolf recoiled only slightly. Kow gave an oozing grin.
“What do you think?”
“An over-ripe cucumber, well done, it’s still less disturbing than the bear”
“What was wrong with the bear?”
“Everything, everything was wrong with that bear. The bear itself was wrong, uncanny valley wrong, ghostly serial killer inhabiting a fetish toy wrong. Seriously, until you spoke I was 90% sure that bear just got out of prison and was calling to ask if Hutton Orbital had a daycare centre”
“Better than an emaciated Onionhead addict”
Lael glanced down nervously, “Do you want a mission or not?”
02 - T.j - Put it back where you found it.
Shamefaced Kow held the putrifying mess.
"It's g-g-green" Alien stuttered.
Frank threw up over it, improving it's appearance.
Kow lifted it gingerly making the ooze intensify, they backed away as it shuddered and belched more ooze.
"Did you put it in the fridge after the show? Smoof enquired.
A gherkin swelled, farted then exploded.
"So, no burger this week then, What can I use?"
Lister69 grinned malevolently. "How about a Porridge stained lunatic in a daft hat?"
"Noooo" said Edith, "that's what we used to have."
Kow interjected. "I've got a small haggis...."
"Yes" said Hankey. "do your flies up."
03 - Listeri69 - On the 4th day god created a cucumber and had much fun shoving it in the newly made humans...
Extracts from the Space-Diary of Simoof
Day 1. What appears to be a pus-filled potato has grown under my nose, on closer inspection turns out it's my brother.
Day 2. Developed itch near the groin, bits keep flaking off, had to convince brother it was snowing in the cockpit
Day 3. Felt something warm hit the chair during a heavy farting session, scraped it up with brothers mug and added it to the curry
Day 4. Whilst checking for lumps found and squeezed several square shaped boils on my rear, oozy and green, used as hot relish, on brothers burger...
04 - moose666 - Solving up to 900 problems a minute
Alien burst into the Bridge
"Kow, I've got something for your trimble problem!"
Psykokow spun round and looked at the box Alien was holding.
"Very good, where did you get it from?"
"Dodgy Steve, he said it was a dead cert rapid fire problem solver!"
Kow hesitated for a moment, then decided to head down to the cargo bay.
Once there, Alien opened the box. Kow's doubts increased somewhat as he saw what was inside.
"What sort of problems did he say it would solve?"
"Many problems!"
Kow nodded. "What we have in there, is an Uzi, and it's green"
05 - Lenin83 - Clever Cucumber Caper!
Cautiously Claire caressed Crystal's cooling cucumber, "Cutie, clearly copious circumference crop" Claire croaked.
Crystal curiously cuddled Claire's curves, "Consistently", Crystal countered, "Claude's crops continually carry city council's commandments", Crystal continued.
Claude's capable Cobra cucumber caravan carried crops, clearing Capukanga commonly. Carrying coffee clear Caucandaga, Cauani.
Concurrently Cady, (Claude's capable cucumber caretaker), clearly concerned, checked Claude's cucumber cache. Counting cucino, camaro, cortez (Common cucumber categories), concluding clearly; Cucumber caper!
Crystal's cucumber caper carelessly confounded Claude's commerce, causing climbing costs, catastrophically curbing Claude's continuing career cultivating cucumbers.
Claude cried, crestfallen, character crushed. Continued contemporary career creating cucumber cocktails, catering crooked Claire, Crystal.
06 - Alien - What Is It Snot?
"What is this?"
"Harry, it's a card."
"A card?"
"Yes, a Christmas card."
"And these dark blotches?"
"Ah, that would be blood."
"Blood?"
"I had a nosebleed when I wrote it."
"And you thought that was not disgusting because ... ?"
"I only had one card left. And I lost my pen. And I had no tissues."
"So, you wanted to write me a card, and this was all you had left?"
"Yes."
"Ok, I have a card for you, one moment."
"To Ozzy, I hope you have a clean, germ free merry Christmas. From your pal, Harry. ah ... Ah ... AH CHOOOOOOOOOOOOO."
07 - Simoof - Fandabydozi - at a stretch of the imagination for one thing
It's Green and its oozy,
Green and its oozy,
Green and its oozy but it shouldn't be...
It used to be brown and,
I think it was rounder,
But once it was found he had too charge a fee.
Now he is famous
because of his ainus
But he's in pain cos of all the folks inside
He says that they wrecked him,
By stretching his rectum,
Now he has trecked on to try and hide.
-----------------------
We all know him as Simon Winnard,
His holes so big you can see his innards
His mum left him in a McDonalds Binyard.
08 - insanephoton - Something Unexpected.
'You brought us all this way out just to see that?'
''Yes, isn't it incredible.'
'Look it's just another ancient wreck. Maybe we can get a Galnet article out of it, but alien wreckage is old news'
'But this one's different. It's more or less intact. We should investigate.'
'I guess it can't do any harm. We won't get the chance when the Feds take control of it.'
As the pair entered the ship something stirred. Lights flashed and a pod vented gas before depositing a green, oozing corpse onto the deck. That's when they discovered that it was Simoof.
09 - DaddyHoggy - Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree
In one of the service corridors of the Python, Martinez, squeezed past a distracted Hobbs, who was shredding electrical cabling into thin strands with a knife.
“What’cha doing Hobby?” Martinez asked.
Hobbs paused. “Making some tinsel for the Christmas tree.”
“What Christmas tree?” Martinez asked, concerned.
“The one we picked from our last stopover.”
“You mean the tall green spiky thing from that snowball of a world?”
Hobbs nodded enthusiastically.
Martinez was already running. “That wasn’t a tree!”
It was too late. The creature had hatched and escaped into the services ducts. The Mess was awash with sticky embryonic fluid.
10 - syfy88man - The Yellow Diamond Back Scout that can
The Yellow Diamond Back Scout that can
He flies out of the spaceport at full throttle with no care that the space traffic control yelling slow down
but he don't care since He has mugs to sell and fresh baked cookies to go with them Mugs
Yet on his way to the first outpost, he gets indication, so he dump all his power into the engine and flys as he hums to an old earthly tune I can't fly at warp 55 and gets away
Yet his proud of his Yellow Diamond Back Scout that can do it.
11 - Eldrich Stark - Birth of the Siren
He kicked off from the airlock, glided through the black. Space is not silent, you have breath and coms and life support sounds as company. Sun, planet and engine trails in the distance. Drifting through the cold white framework of the dockyard. Bursts of frosty jets slowed him as he neared his prize. A smile and a hope as he inserted the icebreaker into the terminal. The indicator pulsed. Distant white darts against the black, security ships turned and closed. An anxious moment and a held breath. Green light and the lock slid open. Stark smiled the Cutter was his. - CMDR Eldrich Stark
12 - MikeSnos - Kerrash warning : Don't Drink and Truck
There was a young Truckist called Suzy
Who some said was a bit of a floozy
She had bundles of cash
Loved sausage and mash
And spent her days in the jacuzzi
Among other things
Such as Brandy and Gins
Suzy so loves to quaff
Until her clothes fall off
And dances along to the Ting tings
Now come, pity our poor Suzy
One day while still feeling woozy
She bumped into Kerrash
Who gave her a rash
And now her bits are green and oozy
Postscript : Suzy's recovered from the rash but Kerrash induced PTSD will never go.
13 - Splendour - Bicg Mistake
"No journey too long, no cargo too small..."
Hutton Orbital Radio sounded tinnily through the speakers of the SRV as the last fragments of Vanadium and Nickel were scooped up.
“I’m done, come get me.”
The T9 thundered down from orbit, and before long the commander was back in the cockpit.
"Should keep the AFM going for a few thousand lightyears." she muttered, strapping in. "Computer! Distance to Colonia?"
"14,203 Lightyears."
"Remind me every 500 Lightyears never, ever, ever take another haulage job without checking the destination _and_ the manifest!"
In the hold, glowing green toxic waste continued to seep.
14 - Galactic Midden - Something Ventured, Something Gained
Sam, the ship's maintenance walla listened intently at the dry air vent. A soft slushing sound and a moistness in the air indicated that something had changed since they left the last planetary scavenge.
Picking up a comms mic Sam thought to himself, "I'd better call it in".
"Just get Charlie in there and clean it out! It's probably just some fungus brought in by our sloppy ground team" came the offhand response.
Minutes later a nervous Charlie, under Sam's watchful eye climbed into the vent to investigate, "It's oozy and... Crunch!".
"Charlie!?", Sam gulped. "I don't think that's fungus".
15 - NeMall - Special Spice
Whistling happily, she put the wriggling Hanandroo Spice beetles in the press.
The smelly, acrid paste with flecks of iridescent carapace was heated. She watched the distillate condense… green liquid, the colour of her eyes, runny at first, it became a thick globule that just about managed to drip.
She showed him the Petri dish full of thick, green slime. “Try it,” she said.
Upon ingestion, his eyes glowed the greenest.
“Potent,” he said. “Very potent. But it won’t sell; it looks like snot!”
She smiled. “The process isn’t finished; watch.”
Green crystals, more precious than emeralds.
He kissed her.
CMDR Ne'Mall, two-times Tranquillity Top Dealer and aide to T-Boss
16 - Beetlejude - Back in green
As a youngster on Hanandroo I harvested the beetle marshes alone in silence. I can sense insect movements today; finally back planetside. Tarach Spice is industrially farmed now though, never touched by human hand. Too many credits at risk.
In my former guardians abandoned workshop, Bangaloon moss shreds and tiny fragments of beetle iridescence coat lurid stained crates reminiscent of crushed geranium. If green had a scent, this would be it; resinous and acrid.
I shed my Remlok carapace and wallow. All over my body… spreading… unrefined slime, tingling on my exposed skin.
It’s been so long! I'm home.
17 - Commander Sir Samuel Vimes - Artificial intelligence (intelligence not garunteed)
It was meant to be a lab created enhanced humanoid,the ultimate bio artificial intelligence, to infiltrate the federal navy and feedback information for years to the imperial intelligence agencies. Some higher ups even had hopes that with the enhanced genetics it would go on to command the federal navy in years to come now that would be a coup.
Something must of gone wrong with the manufacture though. It didn't look right, it had a green tinge and oozed something unspeakable from its orifices.
So they named it Simoof and sent him off to join the Hutton truckers instead
18 - Gale - Passengers
It's dark. Warm, vibrating and cosy.
We're hungry though. We can't stay here.
"How much will we get for the shipment?"
"Who knows? This stuff's beyond rare, one of a kind."
We ooze along the passage, divide ourselves, trickling through gaps and gouges. We see them below. Our owners, our redeemers.
Our prey.
"You plotting a course?"
"Yeah, distance equals profit. I'll jump through some binary systems, that way there'll be no trouble."
"Unless someone knows what we stole."
"Let's hope they don't."
He's standing below us, his bald head, pale and inviting succulent flesh.
We drip down.
He screams.
19 - RoyalHankey - Psykokows Lost Mug Part 3
Psykokow got home and saw Simoof.
Simoof said "Did you get it back"'.
Psykokow said "Yes it was at Alien's beauty parlour".
"I sold her the Orca".
"Green Ooozy Orca you blew up on the way to Jaques" said Simoof.
"Yep that idiot would fall for anything"
"Now here's your punishment".
Simoof said "What did I do".
Psykokow said "Say this 5 times"
"Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?".
"Ok" Simoof said
"Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?"
Can you can a can as a canner kan.......... Doh!!"
20 - KowStinksLikeAThargoidsRingpiece - The Simoof Special
'Finest square sausage you'll ever eat this side of Sol!' Shouted Simoof from the ship's galley. Just you wait!'
'Square? Only Thargoids eat SQUARE sausage! Disgusting!'
'And what's wrong with sausage shaped sausages all of a sudden?'
'You'll be kicking yourselves you never got into these sooner, I'm telling you,' retorted Simoof, 'the trick is getting the meat fresh'.
'But we haven't docked for weeks! Where'd you get the meat?'
It's alright, my stuff stays fresher longer than most.
'Are you sure?' Said a timid voice as his 'Simoof Special' arrived.
'Why? Wassup with it?'
'It's oozy and it's green'.
21 - Cmdr_Ekows - I didn't ask.
A slightly hard landing shouldn’t kill a station and
divert the ‘FNS-Nevermore’ to repel a Thargoid incursion.
But that’s what happens if you transport 290tns of Green-phosphorus Ale and
110tns of ‘Soap-head’ on a rope. It was a special order for a party, I didn’t ask.
Thud, crack, sheeeeeeeit. Eject!
The ship split open like a Brussel sprout gone bad.
Green, ozzing and frothing.
Bulkheads popped and flew past me.
Uslessly the station opened fire but the green just ate their fire and
keept expanding. Then the foamy mass reached out and ate a T9.
Blimy, I’ve birthed a Thargoid!
22 - Commander Iglooman - Delivering Christmas Joy
Christmas. The time of parcels. I felt the newest addition. Slimy. Green discharge. Disgusting...
I never knew why people sent the things they did. They just continued coming. And coming. And coming. Family heirlooms, love's tokens, and the mugs... Oh, the mugs! They went the furthest. Stupid, stupid mugs over light years of space...
I rang the buzzer. The door slide open. 'Parcel for you ma'am.'
I handed her the package, the slimy, green oozing package.
'Simply delightful!' She called over her shoulder, 'Honey, the carrot jelly salad has arrived in time for Christmas!'.
'And it's only been eight years!'
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