Powerplay Faction: Zemina Torval Cycle 285: Drunk naked Winters seen fleeing FUC

Felicia Winters reportedly seriously hit the bolly last night as Federal pilots began prepping this system, that system, EVERY system! As jaws dropped in amazement before giving way to hysterical laughter at the IHC reports began coming in of a naked woman in Rhea beating on the metal side of a T7 and begging to be taken to Bletii.

‘It was definitely her,’ claimed onlooker Su Crowder. ‘You can’t mistake that hair! Personally I don’t blame her wanting to flee to a system in the middle of nowhere!… The things FUC get up to with wet celery and plungers are just unnatural… and I run a massage parlour with extras for some of the Kumo Crew boys!’

In related news two Imperial Senators were reprimanded for spreading a false rumour that the Emperor had accidently shot two members of palace staff during a giggling fit after being told the news about Winters whist she was cleaning an assault rifle and the Empire is suffering a washing powder shortage due to the number of Imperial citizens who wet themselves laughing last night. A representative for the industry urged people to stop panic buying as this was only adding to the supply issues.

Glory to Torval & the Empire!
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