Dear NPC... (an open letter)

Dear NPC Cobra III,

You are not going to "boil me up" in my Mamba. What are you thinking. I have literally murdered a half-dozen of you at a time. Are you after the hostages I'm rescuing? I will literally declare my own personal war on your faction if you make me fail this mission. I will burn the world around you, I will make it rain fire, I will make the dark void of space feel warm and inviting compared to the icy-cold daggers that you will forever feel at your throat if you even dare to challenge me. And in those bleak moments before I deliver you into the abyss you will never rest because I will haunt every corner of your vision, I will always be there, stalking you closer than your own shadow.

Nevermind you don't have hatch-breakers.

Hugs and Kisses,
Ezren
 
Dear Optimistic NPC Cobra,

I'm afraid I did not catch your name, and must confess I don't really care. I'll be shocked if this letter reaches you to be honest as our meeting was short so I don't know if you had time to enter any escape device. I must say that while I admire the brass nuts required to observe, maneuver behind and interdict my no-cargo-having war machine Challenger and to then subsequently attack said ship alone, I do rather wonder if you felt that it was ill advised after the first 4 seconds? When your ship melts away into a cloud of debris as a hail of bullets and 4 railgun rounds slam into you before you can complete your first turn do you have time to contemplate the failure... or alternatively, the utter and complete madness of your life choices?

"If the rule that you followed led you to this, then of what use was the rule"?

Stick to interdicting Haulers and Type-6's or maybe find another line of work.
 
Dear Station Dwelling NPC's

I have been contemplating taking some well earned leave; and have recently been paying more attention at the various stations I visit. Looking for a place to unwind, however after the things I've been hearing on the ops channel I'm having second thoughts.
The high number of biowaste spills, faulty power manifolds, inoperative garbage compactors, coupled with the general lack of housekeeping at landing pads and the regularity of outbreaks of deadly pathogens, it is a bloody miracle you make it through the week.
I've heard of a camping spot on a planet that is regularly scorched by the high energy jets of a neutron star, frankly it sounds more pleasant.

Signed: "How can you live like that'
 
How do you know so much about NPC's - have you been peeking inside SJA's cubicle again? Or are you just making an educated guess at the capabilities of our pixelated brethren?
Im pretty sure npcs have unlimited shield cell usage same with heat sinks, they dont run out of ammo and their ships handle significantly better than ours at top speeds. I fully believe the npcs are aware of what is in our cargo holds and our hardpoints and our ships stats.
 
also some sassy, or indifferent, or neurotic, pessimistic COVAS, AI would surely be able to have a humour, or sarcasm function, I would love if 'insert cool COVAS name' said "wow real smooth" if I take damage landing on a High G Planet for example
Hi! Im eddie your COVAS and im pleased as punch to be you voice assistant commander!

How about a marvin depressed dismissive COVAS lol
 
Dear NPC Naval Commander,

If you want to scan my ship, you can do in whilst still in Super Cruise. If you insist on interdicting me for a scan, at least have the common decency to scan my ship once we have dropping into normal space than acknowledge that you have completed the scan so I can depart to continue my journey.

Thank You
Commander Jason Burke,
Owner/Operator and Chief Windscreen Washer of the Phoenix Fleet.

This happened to my wife after she returned to the game. She was quite put out that the NPC basically ripped her out of SC just to remind her how broke her character was and then fly off.
 
Dear Sys Authority Pilots

It is generally considered bad manners (not to mention stupid) when in the middle of being rescued from an ar$# kicking at the hands of a wing of pirates, to fly you shieldless POS ship between the Last Remaining Pirate, and the CMDR who destroyed the other 2 pirate vessels effectively saving you. It is even ruder to then get salty with said CMDR because you took damage an inevitable outcome of such idiotic flying. But perhaps rudest of all is to then suddenly and miraculously get full shields so you and your two late-to-the-party mates can thank the CMDR.
By destroying his nice ship with weapons you seemed unable to use against the pirates just moments ago.
I don't need the hassle and paperwork involved in shooting your ship out from under you, and Krom knows I want to, but if I see you and your two mates drinking at
"One Legged Suzie's" again you had all better be wearing mouth-guards
Signed "Dude Seriously?"
 
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