"Don't rush into an Anaconda, do Engineering first...."
The thing you are missing from this quote is do engineering organically, don't grind it.
Look at what the engineers require (information in game, no third party tools required) and when you have a hankering to do a specific activity, check to see if that activity coincides with any of the engineers.
Of course, there may be some activities you don't enjoy, for example, minining, or exploration, or combat, so some things might be annoying, but then break it up. The only one that really requires you do everything in one go is flying 5000 LY from your starting position. Even then, get an Asp, kit it for exploration, you can have it done in a few hours.
Mining for Selene is a pain if you don't like mining. Protip though, you don't need to sell what you mine, so you can kit yourself out for max speed mining if you don't mind dumping stuff you have mined. Since it doesn't matter what you mine for the meeting requirement, you can also get this done in a few hours, and you can break it up if you want.
Most of the stuff is quite straightfoward and grind can be avoided, as long as you combine it with doing stuff you enjoy.
If you don't enjoy most of it, then, welp, wrong game i'm afraid.
On a personal note, while i've benefited from engineering, i think it was a mistake for FD to have spent time adding it. It caused problems with combat balance (both PvP and PvE) and other issues.
But people kept asking for crafting, because every MMO out there has crafting. And i'm not sure what they expected, because if you look at crafting in other games its the same. Go collect X number of Y to make Z. Which then involved farming enemies until the right drops spawn, or grinding out raids against specific bosses.
And so we got your typical MMO style crafting, along with the associated baggage.