Elite Dangerous vs Han Solo


Greedo (pointing a blaster at Han): Going somewhere, Solo?

Han Solo : Yes, Greedo. As a matter of fact, I was just going to see your boss.

[taking a seat]

Han Solo : Tell Hudson that I've got his money.

Greedo : Its too late! Can't you read? Don't you check Galnet? Frontier have increased bounty-scum payments by a factor of four! FOUR! They’ve put a price on your head so large, every bounty hunter within 70 light years will be looking for you! I'm lucky I found you first.

Han Solo : Yeah, but this time, I've got the credits.

Greedo : If you give them to me, plus the bonus KWS payment, I might forget I found you.

Han Solo : I don't have the credits WITH me. I’ve slashed the credits on Leia’s Carrier.

[he slowly draws out his blaster while they talk]

Han Solo : Tell Hudson...

Greedo : The President is through with you! He has no time for FSD-bomb smugglers who submit interdictions at the first sign of a Duval Clipper!

Han Solo : Even I lose the interdiction game sometimes. Did you think I had a choice?

Greedo : Save your Grade-5 excuses for Hudson. He may only take your Asp Explorer.

Han Solo : Over my dead body.

Greedo : That's the idea. I've been looking forward to this for a long time.

Han Solo : Yes, I'll bet you have.

[Han fires first - this isn't a Disney production - everyone in the space bar stares at Han and the now dead Greedo who's lying on the table. He gets up and talks to the bartender]

Han Solo : Sorry about the mess.....anyone need anything smuggling?

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No, No, Wait....

Let's remaster Elite Dangerous and change the story-line so "I win" every time and make it "easy" for me to get everything....
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