Elite themed cracker jokes

[SpitTheDog]

Q: If Tommy had 3 tons of Palladium in one hand and 5 tons of Gold in the other hand, what would Tommy have?

A: Big hands!

 

[majogl]

Yo mama so fat, my ship gets mass-locked when I fly close to her...

Also one related to expecting atmospheric planets:

Q: Do you know what happens when you attempt to land on a planet with the pressure of 100.000 EA??

A: Neither do I, but i can't wait to find out...

 

[SpitTheDog]

Q: What does the Emperor use to hang the Imperial Portraits?

A: The Imperial Hammer and Nails

 

[Arius]

I want to dock now, NOW, do you hear me? NOW NOW NOW!
Docking request ranted.

 

[Arithon]

Q: What do they use to keep the roads and paths clear on ice worlds?

A: A Federal Salt Ship

 

[SpitTheDog]

Q: Why was David Braben so keen to become a Knight?

A: Fer De Lance!

 

[Asp Explorer]

What is the last thing to go through an explorers mind when he crashes into a planet?

His Asp

 

[Hagledesperado]

Q: What do you call an Eagle loaded with narcotics (in most systems)?

I: Ill-eagle.

 

[Frank]

An Imperial, a Federal and an Alliance citizen walk into a bar... what a shining example of a well-adjusted multi-cultural society.

 

[SpitTheDog]

Two Federal Nut Ships entered an Anarchy Zone

One was a salted

 

[Sir.Tj]

Err these are far too good for Cracker jokes.

Far too good.

 

[Komemiute]

I've found a ton of fishes dumped by someone... floating... in Trouter Space.

I also bought nine Lakon T-series ship.
You can say I'm a Nine-Tees Guy!

 

[SpitTheDog]

What do you need for a Procedurally Generated Planet-Sized Coffee Cup?

A Planet Coaster

(Sorry wrong game)

 

[captain slow]

Why did the Shadow President wear a coat on Jones Orbital? Because it was a cold Winters in Hel

 

[CMDR Byr Goefin]

What did the Mobius group want for Christmas?

Two Nerf Guns!

"What does Mobius want for Christmas? Turn over to find out!"

Printed on both sides.

 

[Frank]

Q: How many Imperials does it take to change a light bulb?

A: That's for the slaves to work out for themselves.

 

[who?]

Why did the chicken cross the event horizon?

 

[Komemiute]

I managed to land on a Sun yesterday- Obviously it was too hot at noon so I had to wait until night....

 

[TheThingIs]

What's the difference between illegal and unlawful....one of them has a broken fsd

 

[CMDR Byr Goefin]

&@#&&*(!!))* - How to say "One Human Curry to Go, Extra Spicy" from the "How to Speak Thargoid in 12 Easy Lessons"