Elite themed cracker jokes

A CMDR sits down at the bar for a well deserved drink after near death encounter with a black hole.

The bartender says "Why the long face?"

oculus_horse.jpg

now with photographic evidence
 
(All jokes issued with love and respect)

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Noob Sidewinder: Any griefers in the area?

BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BOOM!!!

Fer-de-Lance: Yes.

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How many CMDR's does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

None, that would break immersion.

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CMDR #1: Man I'm glad to see you. I've been playing in Open for three hours and you're the first player I've seen on-line.
So what do you want to do? Wing up and take on some pirates?
Drop down to a planet and look for illegal mining operations to pillage.
I'm up for anything at this point.


CMDR #2: ¿Habla usted español?

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He thinks so much of his skills as a pilot that Frontier are widening the station slots just to accommodate his ego.

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My wife told me I was spending too many nights out with the lads, so I'm staying in more often.

My wife said I needed to do more housework, so now I'm doing the laundry, making the bed and cleaning the bathroom.

My wife complained the yard needed care, so now I trim the hedges and cut the grass each week.

My wife said I spent too much time playing Elite: Dangerous. I'm going to miss her.

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Two Horizons CMDR's walk into a bar.

The first turns to the other and sa...

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A pilot from Radwar Enterprises,
Had ships of differing sizes.
One was so small,
It was no ship at all.
But the others won several prizes!
 
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