((This is intended for comedic value, not any serious attempt at lore. In... case that isn't obvious. XD ))
Excerpt from an interview with Zorgon Peterson:
GalNet: “So… You make three ship lines, is that right?”
Zorgon Peterson Representative: *ahem* “Ah, yes, that’s right.”
GalNet: “So why don’t you tell us about the smallest. The ah… the Hauler? What’s that used for?”
ZP: “Well, it’s the most popular ship in the galaxy to strip down to the bare essentials and fly to retrieve bigger, better ships with.”
GalNet: “So… not hauling cargo, then…?”
ZP: *chuckles and waves a hand incredulously* “No no, it’s not very good at that, no. Why would you think that?”
GalNet: “And what does it look like?”
ZP: “Well we kind of went for a sort of… ‘wedge of cheese with stubby wings’ motif.”
GalNet: “And the sound… how’s that?”
ZP: “Oh we’re very proud of the sound. It’s kind of like a bag of yowling cats, fighting over who gets out of the water first.”
GalNet: “Eugh… well. Then how about the second… the Adder? That’s a bold move, naming it after a snake. Trying to move in on the turf of parent company Faulcon DeLacy’s legendary progression of Cobra, Python, and Anaconda there a little bit, eh? Top-notch general-purpose, is that right?”
ZP: *shifts uncomfortably* “Well… no. Not exactly, no. It -is- billed as a general purpose ship, but it’s more what you’d call… *ahem* Well I wouldn’t go so far as to say ‘bottom of the range’ or anything, you know? Let’s say that it’s competitive in its price range, and leave it there, yeah?”
GalNet: “…riiiight. But at least it looks and sounds great, right?”
ZP: *lights up excitedly* “Oh yes, absolutely! It looks like a bigger wedge of half-melted cheese with even stubbier wings. And it sounds glorious! Just like a braying llama with indigestion! And the view...! Our engineers worked tirelessly to ensure the Adder's pilots had the absolute smallest, most constricted cockpit view allowable by interstellar regulations. A true masterpiece!”
GalNet: *works hard to contain a snicker* “Mhmm… so then we have your flagship model, the top of the line, the… er… am I reading this correctly? The… Fer de… Lance? What is that, some kind of flower delivery setup?”
ZP: *indignant* “Wha—I’ll have you know, it’s the most fearsome and feared heavy fighter in the whole of the galaxy! Its combination of maneuverability, speed, shielding as heavy as some sub-capital class ships like the Anaconda, and a weapons loadout that makes even the Federation Navy tremble is nothing short of legendary!”
GalNet: “Hey, sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to… I mean, I’m sure it looks and sounds the part, too, right?”
ZP: “Absolutely! It looks like a wedge of cheese skillfully carved into sleek perfection by master er… whatever cheese makers are called! And the sound is amazing, a blend of the sound effects from the 20th Century masterpiece Tron, and an old-fashioned Ford Mustang of the same era! Like a snarling nightmare-beast-monster on the prowl!”
GalNet: “Wow, that actually does sound impressive! Well there you have it folks, the Fleur-de-Lis—I mean, Fer-de-Lance—kicking tail to a twelve-hundred-year-old soundtrack! Let’s have a round of applause for Zorgon Peterson!”
Excerpt from an interview with Zorgon Peterson:
GalNet: “So… You make three ship lines, is that right?”
Zorgon Peterson Representative: *ahem* “Ah, yes, that’s right.”
GalNet: “So why don’t you tell us about the smallest. The ah… the Hauler? What’s that used for?”
ZP: “Well, it’s the most popular ship in the galaxy to strip down to the bare essentials and fly to retrieve bigger, better ships with.”
GalNet: “So… not hauling cargo, then…?”
ZP: *chuckles and waves a hand incredulously* “No no, it’s not very good at that, no. Why would you think that?”
GalNet: “And what does it look like?”
ZP: “Well we kind of went for a sort of… ‘wedge of cheese with stubby wings’ motif.”
GalNet: “And the sound… how’s that?”
ZP: “Oh we’re very proud of the sound. It’s kind of like a bag of yowling cats, fighting over who gets out of the water first.”
GalNet: “Eugh… well. Then how about the second… the Adder? That’s a bold move, naming it after a snake. Trying to move in on the turf of parent company Faulcon DeLacy’s legendary progression of Cobra, Python, and Anaconda there a little bit, eh? Top-notch general-purpose, is that right?”
ZP: *shifts uncomfortably* “Well… no. Not exactly, no. It -is- billed as a general purpose ship, but it’s more what you’d call… *ahem* Well I wouldn’t go so far as to say ‘bottom of the range’ or anything, you know? Let’s say that it’s competitive in its price range, and leave it there, yeah?”
GalNet: “…riiiight. But at least it looks and sounds great, right?”
ZP: *lights up excitedly* “Oh yes, absolutely! It looks like a bigger wedge of half-melted cheese with even stubbier wings. And it sounds glorious! Just like a braying llama with indigestion! And the view...! Our engineers worked tirelessly to ensure the Adder's pilots had the absolute smallest, most constricted cockpit view allowable by interstellar regulations. A true masterpiece!”
GalNet: *works hard to contain a snicker* “Mhmm… so then we have your flagship model, the top of the line, the… er… am I reading this correctly? The… Fer de… Lance? What is that, some kind of flower delivery setup?”
ZP: *indignant* “Wha—I’ll have you know, it’s the most fearsome and feared heavy fighter in the whole of the galaxy! Its combination of maneuverability, speed, shielding as heavy as some sub-capital class ships like the Anaconda, and a weapons loadout that makes even the Federation Navy tremble is nothing short of legendary!”
GalNet: “Hey, sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to… I mean, I’m sure it looks and sounds the part, too, right?”
ZP: “Absolutely! It looks like a wedge of cheese skillfully carved into sleek perfection by master er… whatever cheese makers are called! And the sound is amazing, a blend of the sound effects from the 20th Century masterpiece Tron, and an old-fashioned Ford Mustang of the same era! Like a snarling nightmare-beast-monster on the prowl!”
GalNet: “Wow, that actually does sound impressive! Well there you have it folks, the Fleur-de-Lis—I mean, Fer-de-Lance—kicking tail to a twelve-hundred-year-old soundtrack! Let’s have a round of applause for Zorgon Peterson!”
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