Exploring the darker reaches of the forum you happen across this thread. Drabbles #188: Exploration Disasters
Congratulations RoyalHankey. That was some decisive victory. I hope you enjoy your mug as much as I did mine.
Mug!... <smash>
RoyalHankey's choice this week was "Exploration Disasters".
Psykokow hosts the Abraka-Drabble live reading show and "comedy" hour at 7pm GMT, Fridays on...
HUTTON ORBITAL RADIO! http://streaming.radionomy.com/HuttonOrbitalRadio (audio only)
LAVE RADIO! http://laveradio.com/ (audio only)
TWITCH! http://www.twitch.tv/psykokow/ (audio & visual)
and will also be uploaded to his You-tube channel & anywhere else he can inflict the world with our drabblings!
Come back on Sunday night to see how well your Drabble has done. At least come back before Monday 15:00 to check if you're the one that has to provide us with a topic.
Please vote. And a warning to all of the contestants, Don't vote for yourself or else you will be locked in an examination room with Psykokow who is slapping on a pair of rubber gloves.
01 - RoyalHankey - When luck hits you its rare but bad luck is always around the corner
Saint John Hawke decided to go to Beagle Point.
He set his course and set off.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
He arrived there on Christmas Day and spent the whole of Christmas there.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint bang, he spawned into a killer system.
02 - Edith_The_Hutt - You all meet in a disaster
The Giant Leap Expedition was an explorer’s paradise: Dancing the neutron highway, surveying uncharted systems, gazing upon worlds never before seen by Human eyes.
Then you hit the anomaly.
It seemed like another pulsar, massive twin jets of incredible energy to supercharge your drive. Your ship plunged in and you lost consciousness.
You awake in a crater twelve parsecs from your last known position. Your ship reports the Frameshift Drive is inoperative. From the cockpit window you see other explorers similarly crash-landed. In the distance is an apparently abandoned outpost matching an obsolete mineral-rig design not in use for decades…
03 - Frank - Prey
I'm exploring new wildkow hunting grounds for my tribe. I see a strange white eagle glide down from the highest heavens.
I run to a clearing. There is the bird, larger than the largest hut. It stands stiff, and from it's belly comes a GOD!
He points a shiny finger at a wildkow and commands it dead with a deafening snap. The animal crumples where it stands.
He turns to face me. He knows I'm there even though I hide in bushes. The wiseman says gods can hear our silent voices. He points his finger at me. Please god no!
04 - cleonymus - You can't always find what your looking for.
12 weeks to Sag A. Another 2 to Jaques. Some female company was needed to celebrate.
A few drinks at the bar, had led to the local explorers nightclub.
In the dim lights, their eyes had met over a Lavian brandy and before you could say waypoint scoop, they were back at his room, getting to know each other.
Lips touching, tongues exploring, hands caressing.
His fingers shook as he undid the clasps on the flight suit, separating leather from skin. He explored ever lower, his body rising to the occasion.
Then his searching hand found his consort's member.
Disaster.
05 - Listeri69 - Following the ancient shart...
'After many long nights I have finally worked out what these symbols are' The Swedish accent heavy with the signs of drinking
'You're drunk, really drunk' -hung-low replied emptying his noodle into the trash
'You have to be drunk look, Bottle, smashed window, vomit, ginger, ginger...kebab... It's ancient Scottish' She burped into her onesie
'So what does it mean then?'
'Well it says here lies treasure but beware of the beast'
'The beast?'
'It says it was buried along with the treasure to avoid disasters'
We'll be cautious when digging it up then
Two days later they dug up Simoof...
06 - phong - Nobody honks like Hankey
"It's a disaster" said Klum,holding his head in his hands, "A complete and utter disaster.".Since news of St John Hawkes demise had arrived, a sense of gloom and despair had settled over the publishing house.His incredibly detailed and precise account of his journey had been eagerly followed by millions across known space and had boosted circulation figures to previously unknown heights.And now he was gone!
"I don't suppose ..,well, couldnt we use a ghost writer.?"
"Nobody could recreate his unique style.No,we'll just have to re-print some of his earlier articles and hope nobody notices."
07 - Commander Sir Samuel Vimes - Should I use a shoehorn or a crowbar?
It was the fault of my ex father in law. He'd configured the ship so as to take as much cargo as possible out to Jacques. He'd even taken out the galley for extra cargo space and all we had was a microwave.
Unfortunately he'd been in such a hurry to get our tasteless TV dinner dishes packed he'd not noticed the leaky damaged packages so we'd been on low rations for weeks. Half a microwave meal every 2 days is not enough
I'm spending my days dreaming up ways to get revenge on the ex-pa low ration dish haster
08 - Alien - The Great Barnard's Star Belch Off
Simoof and Psykokow were cooking. It was probably not the best idea.
"You can't put that in there!"
"Och they're explorers, they'll never notice"
"Let me do some poached eggs"
"We don't have three days to cook this meal"
"Well, you can't put pool cleaner in it, who knows what'll happen"
"It's fine, trust me"
At the table, the Thargoids were enjoying the meal, but the waiters were having to hold their noses, the smell was unbearable.
Barnard Star news had likened the dish to eating in Cubicle 3 at Hutton Orbital. The headline went as follows:
Eggs-Chlorination Dish Sharter
09 - FelixBast - A Lost Hope
“Traveling outside of the bubble of civilisation is a calculated risk that only experienced pilots should take, deep space exploration is dangerous!
Inexperienced or forgetful pilots who don’t bring an SRV, an Auto-Field Maintenance Unit or even a Fuel Scoop should stay closer to home.
But even the best pilots can have bad luck. Dropping out of hyperspace between three stars that are almost touching is definitely bad luck.
As my cabin fills with smoke, I look at the stars that will be the death of me and speak my final words. “I have a very bad feeling about this.""
10 - MrMogadon - You Ask How Did I Lose My Hand? Well Settle Down and I'll Tell You......
It started so well. Surface scans were exceptional. A fly past showed wonderful rolling hills and exquisite valleys hiding who knows what, covered in palm leaves with thick grass below.
After a cautious approach and seeing no hostiles, I landed and set to work.
Initial probing was successful and expectations were high. With haste I started to prepare my drilling equipment.
Then, just as the drugs wore off, I found an anomoly amongst the thick grass.
My Tahitian beauty dissolved into a totally-lubed Finn Gerrin, replete with hula outfit.
Let’s just say, I never wanted to use that hand again
11 - Entarius Fusion - If a co-pilot gives you attitude, drop it like it's hot!, drop it like its hot
"Your going to crash!", Jameson Exclaimed
"Listen! I've landed on Hutton Prime over 10 times all without damage to the hull!", Thane remarked back
"I don't want to be the second topping on a planet pizza! throttle back and approach slower!"
Thane gave Jameson a glower that could turn carbon into low temperature diamond "Increasing Descent angle!"
"For the Love of Jeebus slow down!"
The Merlin began to shake violently as the altimiter began to count down from 10km
"pull up!"
8km
"pull up!"
6km
"pull up!
4km
"ok this is looking bad..."
2km
"Im trying to pull us...."
0km
12 - Galactic Midden - The Poseidon Adventurer
"Tell us another Gramps" the cadets cheered.
"Very well", said Gramps. "Once upon a time I found a little chime, belonging to an ancient race. I opened station services and searched among the crevices for a mission to go join the chase. For light years away, but within the milky way, their homeworld remains a mystery. And if you jump scoop honk, jump honk, jump honk scoop, jump, jump honk, scoop, jump honk, then jump straight in between two hot stars...
"What the hell Gramps" the cadets interrupted, "this is rubbish!".
"Ach, go an boil yer heads you ungrateful sods".
Congratulations RoyalHankey. That was some decisive victory. I hope you enjoy your mug as much as I did mine.
Mug!... <smash>
RoyalHankey's choice this week was "Exploration Disasters".
Psykokow hosts the Abraka-Drabble live reading show and "comedy" hour at 7pm GMT, Fridays on...
HUTTON ORBITAL RADIO! http://streaming.radionomy.com/HuttonOrbitalRadio (audio only)
LAVE RADIO! http://laveradio.com/ (audio only)
TWITCH! http://www.twitch.tv/psykokow/ (audio & visual)
and will also be uploaded to his You-tube channel & anywhere else he can inflict the world with our drabblings!
Come back on Sunday night to see how well your Drabble has done. At least come back before Monday 15:00 to check if you're the one that has to provide us with a topic.
Please vote. And a warning to all of the contestants, Don't vote for yourself or else you will be locked in an examination room with Psykokow who is slapping on a pair of rubber gloves.
01 - RoyalHankey - When luck hits you its rare but bad luck is always around the corner
Saint John Hawke decided to go to Beagle Point.
He set his course and set off.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
He arrived there on Christmas Day and spent the whole of Christmas there.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint scan, waypoint scan, waypoint scoop scan.
Waypoint bang, he spawned into a killer system.
02 - Edith_The_Hutt - You all meet in a disaster
The Giant Leap Expedition was an explorer’s paradise: Dancing the neutron highway, surveying uncharted systems, gazing upon worlds never before seen by Human eyes.
Then you hit the anomaly.
It seemed like another pulsar, massive twin jets of incredible energy to supercharge your drive. Your ship plunged in and you lost consciousness.
You awake in a crater twelve parsecs from your last known position. Your ship reports the Frameshift Drive is inoperative. From the cockpit window you see other explorers similarly crash-landed. In the distance is an apparently abandoned outpost matching an obsolete mineral-rig design not in use for decades…
03 - Frank - Prey
I'm exploring new wildkow hunting grounds for my tribe. I see a strange white eagle glide down from the highest heavens.
I run to a clearing. There is the bird, larger than the largest hut. It stands stiff, and from it's belly comes a GOD!
He points a shiny finger at a wildkow and commands it dead with a deafening snap. The animal crumples where it stands.
He turns to face me. He knows I'm there even though I hide in bushes. The wiseman says gods can hear our silent voices. He points his finger at me. Please god no!
04 - cleonymus - You can't always find what your looking for.
12 weeks to Sag A. Another 2 to Jaques. Some female company was needed to celebrate.
A few drinks at the bar, had led to the local explorers nightclub.
In the dim lights, their eyes had met over a Lavian brandy and before you could say waypoint scoop, they were back at his room, getting to know each other.
Lips touching, tongues exploring, hands caressing.
His fingers shook as he undid the clasps on the flight suit, separating leather from skin. He explored ever lower, his body rising to the occasion.
Then his searching hand found his consort's member.
Disaster.
05 - Listeri69 - Following the ancient shart...
'After many long nights I have finally worked out what these symbols are' The Swedish accent heavy with the signs of drinking
'You're drunk, really drunk' -hung-low replied emptying his noodle into the trash
'You have to be drunk look, Bottle, smashed window, vomit, ginger, ginger...kebab... It's ancient Scottish' She burped into her onesie
'So what does it mean then?'
'Well it says here lies treasure but beware of the beast'
'The beast?'
'It says it was buried along with the treasure to avoid disasters'
We'll be cautious when digging it up then
Two days later they dug up Simoof...
06 - phong - Nobody honks like Hankey
"It's a disaster" said Klum,holding his head in his hands, "A complete and utter disaster.".Since news of St John Hawkes demise had arrived, a sense of gloom and despair had settled over the publishing house.His incredibly detailed and precise account of his journey had been eagerly followed by millions across known space and had boosted circulation figures to previously unknown heights.And now he was gone!
"I don't suppose ..,well, couldnt we use a ghost writer.?"
"Nobody could recreate his unique style.No,we'll just have to re-print some of his earlier articles and hope nobody notices."
07 - Commander Sir Samuel Vimes - Should I use a shoehorn or a crowbar?
It was the fault of my ex father in law. He'd configured the ship so as to take as much cargo as possible out to Jacques. He'd even taken out the galley for extra cargo space and all we had was a microwave.
Unfortunately he'd been in such a hurry to get our tasteless TV dinner dishes packed he'd not noticed the leaky damaged packages so we'd been on low rations for weeks. Half a microwave meal every 2 days is not enough
I'm spending my days dreaming up ways to get revenge on the ex-pa low ration dish haster
08 - Alien - The Great Barnard's Star Belch Off
Simoof and Psykokow were cooking. It was probably not the best idea.
"You can't put that in there!"
"Och they're explorers, they'll never notice"
"Let me do some poached eggs"
"We don't have three days to cook this meal"
"Well, you can't put pool cleaner in it, who knows what'll happen"
"It's fine, trust me"
At the table, the Thargoids were enjoying the meal, but the waiters were having to hold their noses, the smell was unbearable.
Barnard Star news had likened the dish to eating in Cubicle 3 at Hutton Orbital. The headline went as follows:
Eggs-Chlorination Dish Sharter
09 - FelixBast - A Lost Hope
“Traveling outside of the bubble of civilisation is a calculated risk that only experienced pilots should take, deep space exploration is dangerous!
Inexperienced or forgetful pilots who don’t bring an SRV, an Auto-Field Maintenance Unit or even a Fuel Scoop should stay closer to home.
But even the best pilots can have bad luck. Dropping out of hyperspace between three stars that are almost touching is definitely bad luck.
As my cabin fills with smoke, I look at the stars that will be the death of me and speak my final words. “I have a very bad feeling about this.""
10 - MrMogadon - You Ask How Did I Lose My Hand? Well Settle Down and I'll Tell You......
It started so well. Surface scans were exceptional. A fly past showed wonderful rolling hills and exquisite valleys hiding who knows what, covered in palm leaves with thick grass below.
After a cautious approach and seeing no hostiles, I landed and set to work.
Initial probing was successful and expectations were high. With haste I started to prepare my drilling equipment.
Then, just as the drugs wore off, I found an anomoly amongst the thick grass.
My Tahitian beauty dissolved into a totally-lubed Finn Gerrin, replete with hula outfit.
Let’s just say, I never wanted to use that hand again
11 - Entarius Fusion - If a co-pilot gives you attitude, drop it like it's hot!, drop it like its hot
"Your going to crash!", Jameson Exclaimed
"Listen! I've landed on Hutton Prime over 10 times all without damage to the hull!", Thane remarked back
"I don't want to be the second topping on a planet pizza! throttle back and approach slower!"
Thane gave Jameson a glower that could turn carbon into low temperature diamond "Increasing Descent angle!"
"For the Love of Jeebus slow down!"
The Merlin began to shake violently as the altimiter began to count down from 10km
"pull up!"
8km
"pull up!"
6km
"pull up!
4km
"ok this is looking bad..."
2km
"Im trying to pull us...."
0km
12 - Galactic Midden - The Poseidon Adventurer
"Tell us another Gramps" the cadets cheered.
"Very well", said Gramps. "Once upon a time I found a little chime, belonging to an ancient race. I opened station services and searched among the crevices for a mission to go join the chase. For light years away, but within the milky way, their homeworld remains a mystery. And if you jump scoop honk, jump honk, jump honk scoop, jump, jump honk, scoop, jump honk, then jump straight in between two hot stars...
"What the hell Gramps" the cadets interrupted, "this is rubbish!".
"Ach, go an boil yer heads you ungrateful sods".
