Obviously it's incompetent game design. The kickstarter is the source of this incompetence because to gain the money needed from nostalgia addicted investors they promised that they could create a game that was a single player narrative + a multiplayer mmo + a sandbox and that they'd all be playing together in the same game (everyone would get what they want and reality be damned). Unfortunately the mechanics of each of those game types that players who enjoy playing those kinds of games are in many cases mutually exclusive to the other game types.
Single player narrative games have immersive stories and invest heavily into the gameplay experience that the player has and they're heavily role based and tend to allow control over the game if desired via mods and players can experience the entire narrative each time they start.
multiplayer mmo's tend to have a narrative that is dictated via the player actions with a heavy reliance on player to player interaction and communication. The community creates the content often with benefits to being in the game longer. They offer power over other players that dont exist in other games.
I could go on but the point is what you end up with in elite is a compromise that pleases almost nobody. Some of those compromises lead directly to the grindy mechanics that currently exist and the unbalanced game mechanics. It's always a balancing act on what action will lead to the fewest public outbursts because no matter what they do, it's not going to balance well for the single player crowd, or not going to balance well for the MMO pvp crowd, or not going to balance well for the sandboxy pve casual crowd. I highly doubt they'll decide to finally pick an identity and finally realize that the cost of the level of compromise they are forced to make with elite is worse than losing the fraction of the playerbase that they alienate. Maybe that's new era. But unlikely.
I think you've summed up quite well there, I recently returned to the game and obviously got back in with the flight and all (riding a bike) but something I noticed straight away (my past years of ED have mostly been spent in the black) was near every mission was about doing something unpleasant, kill this, assassinate him, massacre them, steal this, blow up that... really? what about 'find little Susie?' what about go do a complete system scan on 'this' system 5000lys away?, what about'search for science team 10000lys away?, what about rescue dad from Ice planet zebra? there doesn't need to be combat other than the environment.
And when I though about why there weren't any missions like that I realised that missions are not a face to face thing they are twenty words in a block on the screen with directions and you make the story yourself, or you don't make the story and just go shoot something a bit or a lot, and collect credits, there's nothing personal at all, but the sad thing is it seems there is no provision for adding that personal touch, missions are rubber stamped and that's it, so really the single player isn't even included in the design, it's just some missions are watered down or ramped up to allow both groups and single players to complete.
Maybe Legs will allow single player adventure from bars and other meeting places, and those just wanting to sit in a seat shooting stuff can still do that without missing out, surely it can't be that difficult to do something pleasant!