[A bit of light hearted humour for a Monday morning]
Saud Kruger Announces New Cockpit Design: Stanislav Kruger, CEO of Saud Kruger told a packed shareholders meeting of the companies exciting new modification to their fleet of premier ships. "Exalted rich friends, ladies and gentlemen, it is with great please that I announce today a new and exciting phase for our fleet of luxury ships. Our top engineers have been working around the clock for years to finally achieve what was thought to be unachievable - the smokeless cockpit. Yes you heard right, no longer will your chauffeurs and hired underlings be subject to coughing fits and odorous uniforms when they inexcusably get too close to a star whilst refueling. No longer will your cleaning staff have to scrub the entire cockpit to get rid of the smoke and phlegm stains. Yes Saud Kruger is aware of the hideous cost of fuel and the saving that can be made to scoop the fuel for free and this is why we have investing billions of credits in developing this revolutionary cockpit. It won't matter how hot the cockpit now gets, your staff will now be able to still maintain a pristine work environment without the danger of the entire cockpit filling with smoke and seeping into the salon compartments.. Testing and trials will commence SOON™"
Changes for Shinrarta Dezhra: In an stunning press conference, The Honorable Jenson Zanetti Esq. today announced two new initiatives that will have major implications for all members of the Pilots Federation. "As Chairman of the Pilots Federation Safety Board I address all members of the Pilots Federation to advise them of two initiatives centered on the Shinrarta Dezhra system. Shinrarta Dezhra is our spiritual home where only the best Commanders can call home. One must be worthy of entering the system, well except for all the hired help, the menial workers who keep the place running, err now where was it ... ah yes. If Shinrarta Dezhra is our spiritual home then surely Jameson Memorial is our holiest of holies, our temple so to speak. Yet I have heard rumblings, what I initially thought were vicious rumours that some members of the PF didn't think Jameson Memorial was anything special. 'It just looks like every other damn station', ' Eww, was expecting something at least clean', 'You mean I grinded for 12 years to get reach Elite and this is all I get, some boring station' - yes I have heard the comments and looked upon the station with fresh eyes. Subsequently, I have decided to create a new advisory board to improve Jameson Memorial to properly reflect the historic and significant impact this station has. I have ordered this board to seek out suggestions from all members of the PF, what do you want to see in the station, what don't you want to see. Fellow Commanders the choice is yours!
Now I have some rather disturbing news. It seems some members of the Pilots Federation are not worthy of being part of this prestigious organization. I am of course referring to that small band of malcontents that insist up preying on fellow members of the PF within the confines of the system. It does not seem to matter if the Commander is wanted or clean, carrying cargo or not, they are being targeted and destroyed and I will not allow this within the confines of Shinrarta Dezhra. I will be having a private discussion with the Captain of our System Security Fleet on this matter as I believe there must be some collusion within the ranks for this type of behavior to occur. But irrespective of the inability of the SSF to maintain the peace, I am personally investigating punitive measures for anyone caught committing such heinous activities on their brethren. The punishments being discussed may include excommunication from the Pilots Federation and withdrawal of the permit to even enter the system. I don't care what individual Commanders do outside of Shinrarta Dezhra but we will have peace and good will within our own home - do I make myself clear!"
Religious Leaders meet to help NPCs: In a rare showing of tolerance and understanding, senior members of over 1,450 major religions gathered last week to discuss the plight of the NPC fraternity and their families. The conference, held in the resort station of Favier Station in the Mulayo system, famed for its hedonistic freedom and no ceiling gambling activities, was chaired by the The Devine High Priest, the Exalted Fred of the Altruist Faith. The over-riding aim of the conference was ways to address the plight of the unfortunate members of the Non Professional Commander's guild. These poor, downtrodden, overworked mothers and fathers, sons and daughters are often at the mercy of the heartless bullies of the Pilot's Federation, that collection of heathens that make early 21st Century governments look positively benign. After five days of discussions, a charter was created to address the issues with two main objectives. The first is the formation of a food service, with all commodities donated by the religious signatories with the aim to provide at minimum an evening meal to all children of the NPCs after it was discovered many go hungry due to their parents ability of often engaging the inappropriate target. The second initiative may be a little more difficult to accomplish. The charter will reach out to various 'professional gentleman's clubs' to help provide better training to the NPC pilots on the finer skills of sourcing cargo on the move, knowing when to attack a target, and most importantly, increasing their vocabulary. Hopefully this initiative will enable NPC pilots to at least provide some semblance of income to provide for their unfortunate families.
Oh Happy Days Resorts INC Record New Profit Record: Mr 'Lucky' Alfreshco, public figurehead of the Oh Happy Days Resort and Casinos today advised that their casino's, pleasure houses and public bars recorded an unprecedented 12,500% profit increase in their holdings in the Mulayo system last week and plans are now in place to open more stations near religious hubs.
Saud Kruger Announces New Cockpit Design: Stanislav Kruger, CEO of Saud Kruger told a packed shareholders meeting of the companies exciting new modification to their fleet of premier ships. "Exalted rich friends, ladies and gentlemen, it is with great please that I announce today a new and exciting phase for our fleet of luxury ships. Our top engineers have been working around the clock for years to finally achieve what was thought to be unachievable - the smokeless cockpit. Yes you heard right, no longer will your chauffeurs and hired underlings be subject to coughing fits and odorous uniforms when they inexcusably get too close to a star whilst refueling. No longer will your cleaning staff have to scrub the entire cockpit to get rid of the smoke and phlegm stains. Yes Saud Kruger is aware of the hideous cost of fuel and the saving that can be made to scoop the fuel for free and this is why we have investing billions of credits in developing this revolutionary cockpit. It won't matter how hot the cockpit now gets, your staff will now be able to still maintain a pristine work environment without the danger of the entire cockpit filling with smoke and seeping into the salon compartments.. Testing and trials will commence SOON™"
Changes for Shinrarta Dezhra: In an stunning press conference, The Honorable Jenson Zanetti Esq. today announced two new initiatives that will have major implications for all members of the Pilots Federation. "As Chairman of the Pilots Federation Safety Board I address all members of the Pilots Federation to advise them of two initiatives centered on the Shinrarta Dezhra system. Shinrarta Dezhra is our spiritual home where only the best Commanders can call home. One must be worthy of entering the system, well except for all the hired help, the menial workers who keep the place running, err now where was it ... ah yes. If Shinrarta Dezhra is our spiritual home then surely Jameson Memorial is our holiest of holies, our temple so to speak. Yet I have heard rumblings, what I initially thought were vicious rumours that some members of the PF didn't think Jameson Memorial was anything special. 'It just looks like every other damn station', ' Eww, was expecting something at least clean', 'You mean I grinded for 12 years to get reach Elite and this is all I get, some boring station' - yes I have heard the comments and looked upon the station with fresh eyes. Subsequently, I have decided to create a new advisory board to improve Jameson Memorial to properly reflect the historic and significant impact this station has. I have ordered this board to seek out suggestions from all members of the PF, what do you want to see in the station, what don't you want to see. Fellow Commanders the choice is yours!
Now I have some rather disturbing news. It seems some members of the Pilots Federation are not worthy of being part of this prestigious organization. I am of course referring to that small band of malcontents that insist up preying on fellow members of the PF within the confines of the system. It does not seem to matter if the Commander is wanted or clean, carrying cargo or not, they are being targeted and destroyed and I will not allow this within the confines of Shinrarta Dezhra. I will be having a private discussion with the Captain of our System Security Fleet on this matter as I believe there must be some collusion within the ranks for this type of behavior to occur. But irrespective of the inability of the SSF to maintain the peace, I am personally investigating punitive measures for anyone caught committing such heinous activities on their brethren. The punishments being discussed may include excommunication from the Pilots Federation and withdrawal of the permit to even enter the system. I don't care what individual Commanders do outside of Shinrarta Dezhra but we will have peace and good will within our own home - do I make myself clear!"
Religious Leaders meet to help NPCs: In a rare showing of tolerance and understanding, senior members of over 1,450 major religions gathered last week to discuss the plight of the NPC fraternity and their families. The conference, held in the resort station of Favier Station in the Mulayo system, famed for its hedonistic freedom and no ceiling gambling activities, was chaired by the The Devine High Priest, the Exalted Fred of the Altruist Faith. The over-riding aim of the conference was ways to address the plight of the unfortunate members of the Non Professional Commander's guild. These poor, downtrodden, overworked mothers and fathers, sons and daughters are often at the mercy of the heartless bullies of the Pilot's Federation, that collection of heathens that make early 21st Century governments look positively benign. After five days of discussions, a charter was created to address the issues with two main objectives. The first is the formation of a food service, with all commodities donated by the religious signatories with the aim to provide at minimum an evening meal to all children of the NPCs after it was discovered many go hungry due to their parents ability of often engaging the inappropriate target. The second initiative may be a little more difficult to accomplish. The charter will reach out to various 'professional gentleman's clubs' to help provide better training to the NPC pilots on the finer skills of sourcing cargo on the move, knowing when to attack a target, and most importantly, increasing their vocabulary. Hopefully this initiative will enable NPC pilots to at least provide some semblance of income to provide for their unfortunate families.
Oh Happy Days Resorts INC Record New Profit Record: Mr 'Lucky' Alfreshco, public figurehead of the Oh Happy Days Resort and Casinos today advised that their casino's, pleasure houses and public bars recorded an unprecedented 12,500% profit increase in their holdings in the Mulayo system last week and plans are now in place to open more stations near religious hubs.