The banner was kindly provided by Psykokow.... nothing to do with me
Welcome to the Drabble show. Last week's competition was an outright win by a newcomer to the show, Gale. That's the way to make a first impression! I do believe a round of applause is in order.
She decided this week's topic would be "An unexpected present"
Psykokow hosts the Abraka-Drabble live reading show and "comedy" hour at 7pm GMT, Fridays on...
HUTTON ORBITAL RADIO! http://streaming.radionomy.com/HuttonOrbitalRadio (audio only)
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TWITCH! http://www.twitch.tv/psykokow/ (audio & visual)
and will also be uploaded to his You-tube channel & anywhere else he can inflict the world with our drabblings!
Come back on Sunday night to see how well your Drabble has done. At least come back before Monday 15:00 to check if you're the one that has to provide us with a topic.
Please vote. And a warning to all of the contestants, don't vote for yourselves. Anyone caught voting for themselves shall be put on to Santa's naughty list.
01 - RoyalHankey - An unexpected Christmas Present
Three green bottles
Hanging on the wall
Three green bottles
Hanging on the wall
And if Mike Hunt throws a bottle
Directly at a wall
There'll be two green bottles
Hanging on the wall
Two green bottles
Hanging on the wall
Two green bottles
Hanging on the wall
And if Alien throws a bottle
Directly at a wall
There'll be one green bottle
Hanging on the wall
One green bottle
Hanging on the wall
One green bottle
Hanging on the wall
And if Psykokow throws a bottle
Directly at Mike Hunt
There'll be no green bottles
Hanging on the wall
02 - Commander Sir Samuel Vimes - Dreading followers of fashion
The sentator was a fashion icon. Well everybody copied what she wore and did or found themselves in social exile but it all amounts to the same thing
Just before last Christmas she developed a heavy cold so sneezed and coughed over all the presents as she wrapped them. It was all the rage to have a present under the tree with what looked like glitter in some lights but actually turned out to be the after effects of a heavy coughing and sneezing fit
This year luckily she's fit and well I'm definitely looking forward to some unexpectorated presents
03 - moose666 - Never go full Adrian Edmondson
"And our next drabble is by Simoof, who seems to have gotten a package"
Simoof nodded. "It's from The Men."
"Oh really" said kow, "what's in it?"
Simoof opened it up "Its a frying pan, and a note from The Men"
"Oh, what's it say?"
"Merry Christmas from The Men, if he does it again, take this and go full Adrian Edmondson on him"
"Ah, that's nice, do you want to read your own drabble?"
Simoof sighed, and took the frying pan.
*THWANG*
"OW"
*BONG*
"OI"
*CLONG*
"Hey!"
*DONG*
"Stop it!"
*WHONG*
"Simoof!"
*KTWANG*
"AAAAA"
*PLONG*
"Damnit"
*WHANG*
"No more!"
04 - Alien - Ozzy's Rube Goldberg Machine
"Harry, I want to show you something I made"
"I don't get it ... what does it do?"
"Well, not much at the moment. This thing does this and that does that."
"So that's it? That's as far as you got?"
"Yeah ... I'm still working it out."
"You do know you need a licence for live animals?"
"Only the bird. The insects are a pest, and The Boss doesn't mind me using them."
"So the bird does that and the insects get squashed?"
"Also, I had to use your bear. I hope that's Ok."
"So ... Um, X Pecks Ted, Press Ants?"
05 - Frank - Surprises May and/or May Not be Pleasant
Mr Erwin enjoyed the school trips, "Here we are back at school, 7pm 3303ad. What's surprising about that?"
The Orca passengers raised eager hands "Sir! We should be in the future."
"Why is that?"
"Sir! Einstein's Twins. The one that stayed put got older."
"That's right. It was an thought experiment, but Einstein didn't know about Frameshift Drives."
As he was exiting, he was surprised. "Sir! we got you a present."
Erwin thought he might have heard a faint mewling from the gift-wrapped box. "What is it?"
The pupil had an evil smirk "Open it so we can find out."
06 - Edith_The_Hutt - Lakon Sierra Bravo One
Einsam Hollow was only a million light-seconds from its primary, so no one bothered visiting; a three-pad refinery producing twenty kilotonnes of bauxite each month. Utterly unspectacular.
Carol chewed her ready-printed dinner (turkey-flavoured protein, cranberry gel and something which was once possibly a vegetable). Regulations required there to be a traffic controller, traffic was optional.
The Type-6 was unexpected.
"Lakon-SB1 requesting docking clearance"
"Permission granted on pad three. Please transmit your full ship ident and purpose of visit," Carol blinked. That pilot name had to be a joke.
"Roger flight control. This is Sleigh-Bell One, you`ve made the Nice List"
07 - Commander Gale - The forgotten slave
I am the grandchild.
I bring death to the kingdom.
Words left behind on a derelict ship. The air in this place, long gone.
The throne’s inscription is crusted with grime. It’s occupant is humanoid, but grey-skinned and naked. Its eyes closed.
Did this creature ever live? If it awoke, what story would it tell?
Underneath, there’s a logo – The Achilles Corporation.
My suit comms crackle into life. “Anna, anything you find, you keep. That’s my gift to you.”
There’s a switch. I press it. A light goes on.
The eyes open, glare at me. A hand grasps my throat.
08 - psykokow - Lifetime Career
Hauling scrap had to be the most difficult and challenging trade run, but when you live on the bread line you gotta make ends meet.
Countless runs back and forth, buy then ship then sell, then pick up more orders.. rinse repeat for 30 years.
It was always the same, tedium was for the weak minded, a true scrap trader never got bored of it, the hunger for credits saw to that.
The desire to catch an extra 15 credits per tonne kept me browsing the boards for great deals.
I picked up 40 tonnes to Hutton Orbital, then retired.
09 - Listeri69 - Sometimes an extra pizza is a bad idea....
Midden sat in the Thargoid bar his hair combed over all the bald spots.
Sat opposite was Simoof, he was wishing he hadn't left his shoes orbiting Winnard's Hole.
'You sure they're gonna show up?' Midden said fiddling with himself
'They have to it was part of the charity auction'
' I wore my lucky pants' Midden saw Susan Boils head towards their table. Being a gentleman he stood up to let Susan sit.
As he pushed the chair in, he pushed out a huge shart.
Simoof laughed.
'Fun Keks Splatted, Pretty tense' Midden said as he dribbled down his leg
10 - cleonymus - The race to rank up.
A deadly rivalry had started in flight school.
It continued on the rare trading routes and had resulted in his being the SECOND from his class to become an Elite trader.
Everything had then seemed quiet, as he ground out his combat rank hunting pirates around Lave.
He felt satisfaction as he added the combat elite decal to his newly acquired exploration ship. Only one day ahead of his rival.
Three months into the trip to Beagle point he was woken by a message on his console.
"You will not come first for the deciding rank. Look beneath your seat."
11 - Simoof - The Alternarrative.
The bureau were used to unwanted presents, you can't please everyone.
But unexpected? Something had gone horrbily wrong.
This was their sole job. Someone was going to be erased.
The bosses could be seen through the huge glass wall.
Graphs and numbers exploded through the air as virtual screens narrowed down the findings.
Within a few seconds all screens displayed the same text - with a superflous letter r flashing red.
Adjustment made. The screen now displyed:
CURRENTDAY : FRIDAY 23rd DEC 2016
CURRENTTIME: 7PM-ISH
ABRAKRA-DRABBLE is OFFLINE
They swiped rightt. Abrakadrabble was growing stronger. Not the present they had crafted for.
12 - Galactic Midden - Désolé mon amour
My lips crack through a grimace as jingle bells plays again. Chorus without voice, no festive rejoice. Every day since crashing I bemoaned my alarm choice. 3cr Christmas sale... Je devais acheter.
Thoughts wandering... oxygen warning! I've been out searching too long. Another day without rescue mon amour.
Lifeless, this rock's only companion was nearly dead too.
Faltering, I bounce home... disaster! The ship's hatch, c'est ouvert!
I reach for my sidearm, fumbling as crimson ribbons explode from my chest. Pain
Descending from the hatch my killer approaches. He has my crystal. [Désolé mon amour. No surprise gifts this year.]
13 - FelixBast - An unexpected presence ?
Ebenezer Frank was piloting his battered old T-6 through an asteroid field, when a ghostly figure suddenly appeared in the middle of the cabin.
It reached toward him with spectral hands and spoke in a wispy voice. “Ebenezer Frank. I am the ghost of Christmas past...”
Frank pointed a small box shaped device at the spectre and pressed a button. A bright cone of energy leaped out, caught the phantasm and trapped it inside the box.
“Every god damn year”, muttered Frank as he plugged the box into the ships FSD. The drive hummed as it absorbed the ghosts essence.
14 - cleonymus - The dockers box
The dockers gave me a box.
Let me look
OK
Well I have not seen one before. I think it may be puppy. If nothing else I can tell by the size that it will soon give birth.
What do you mean.
Well look at it - it;s fat.
It may be fat, but it isn't a puppy.
Why not?
Only birds have feathers.
No feathers on puppies.
No. And I don't think it is going to give birth.
Are you sure.
Yes, Birds lay eggs.
So a bird not about to give birth.
Yes.
It is a un-expectant pheasant?
15 - insanephoton - A Winter Tale
'Merry Christmas commander' chirped the computer.
'What do you mean? It's not Christmas for a few days' Stanley complained groggily
'Check the calendar, sir'
Stanley's eyes blearily focused on the display. The computer was right. Stanley shuddered, he had no recollection of what had happened in the previous three days. Puzzled and confused, Stanley dressed and headed towards the cockpit where he found something unexpected.
There on the commander's seat was a parcel. The tag read 'To Stanley from the Thargoid Expeditionary fleet'. Nervously Stanley tore off the wrapping paper to reveal a box. He carefully opened it to reveal...
