Call me Ishmael.
Actually, I'd really rather you didn't call me that. Seriously. It's a name from my past that I'm not entirely fond of remembering. Just "Commander Sapyx" will be fine.
I'm from Peter's Eden. Yes, that Peter's Eden. Last I checked, there's still only one planet in the galaxy called that. In the Arexack system.
Arexack.
Everyone's heard the story of Arexack by now, surely. But in case you haven't, a quick rundown. A terraforming project that was abandoned some centuries earlier, the planet was re-colonized in 3061 by followers of an obscure religion, the Church of KumByar, fleeing from persecution on whatever communist-dictatorship planet they'd first found themselves on. The society completed the terraforming and progressed (or rather, not-progressed) in much the same fashion as other religious exclaves all over Human space have done, and the system would no doubt have remained in isolationist obscurity forever were it not for that fateful day in mid-3126.
Zack Blackbeam was a rich kid from the Old Worlds with nothing meaningful to spend his money on after he purchased a fleet of top-o-the-line ships. So, to take a break from the non-stop partying, he thought he'd play a prank on the simple folks of Peter's Eden. He bought a whole bunch of holographic projectors, pyrotechnics and whatnot, fitted them to his ship, set off for Arexack and, on arrival, staged a fake "Coming of KumByar". Since he wasn't actually KumByar, he couldn't actually deliver on KumByar's promise to lead the faithful into Paradise, so instead he told them they weren't allowed in because the community's leader, the Right Holy Ssord Rettu III, had a "displeasing shave". He then got back in his ship and took off, laughing. Little did he know the imminent repercussions of what he had just set off.
After lynching the unfortunate Ssord, the community promptly divided into two warring factions, violently and irreconcilably disagreeing on what exactly the "displeasing shave" meant. The Conservative faction believed that the shaving was incomplete and that no trace of hair must remain on their bodies. The Radical faction believed that shaving itself must be offensive to KumByar and that their entire bodies must therefore be covered with maximum hair. Word of the civil war got out, with traders bringing in weapons and supplies and mercenaries hiring themselves out to whichever faction paid the most. None of these foreigners, of course, had any interest in pointing out to the faction leaders that the whole thing was a terrible misunderstanding around a practical joke that had long ago ceased to be funny. Arexack became famous for being the only planet in the galaxy where everything was illegal to import except hair products and battle weapons.
My family came from the Moderate faction; we believed that we shouldn't really be getting all hot under the collar over something that we didn't really know the correct meaning of. But, being the only group that was interested in peaceful reconciliation and meaningful dialogue, we were small, ineffectual and hated by both of the other factions and, since we weren't interested in buying either hair products or hovertanks, the foreign traders ignored us too.
The situation could not last forever. Eventually, the truth about "The Joke" got out into the general population; I'm proud to say that the Moderates played an important role in this, though three of my grandparents paid with their lives for their efforts. In 3261, on the bicentennial of the colony's founding, a peace treaty was finally signed. The resultant enquiries revealed that the highest ranks of leadership of the two warring factions were fully aware of The Joke, but chose not to bring an end to the war earlier because it would mean admitting that their ancestors really had been that gullible. The scandal broke the political power of all of the Church factions in Arexack society and no faction of the Church now remains in the system as an organized theocratic faction. This betrayal by their leaders caused many followers to revoke their beliefs and call upon the interim governing council of the system to ask the outside galaxy for aid.
The Federation was the first superpower to arrive with reconstruction assistance, though being a border system about halfway between Sol and Achenar, the Empire was not far behind. The two superpowers signed a memorandum of understanding, agreeing to not use Arexack as a political football for a surprisingly long time, instead focussing on the task of fully integrating the former isolationist world back into galactic society.
So, where does that leave me, personally? I left Arexack twenty years ago, while the MOU was still in effect and Arexack was well on its way to prosperity. I've been back a few times - the last time I was there a couple of years ago, the Federation were still firmly in control, though I see on the galaxy map that the Empire has recently claimed ascendancy. Personally, it doesn't really bother me one way or the other. I have seen the chaos that isolationist Independent governments can bring, and the benefits that a benevolent galactic power can bring to a broken world. I support the Federation, and the Empire, out of gratitude for helping my planet in its time of need. I also support the Alliance and everything it stands for as well; I recognize that they were too remote to come to our aid. This "support" of the superpowers does not extend to my supporting any of the superpowers in their petty, pointless conflicts with each other - I know from experience that the superpowers are better than that - though I will happily support their efforts in taking over other Indie systems, as it's the Indies that I dislike the most. Especially anarchists and communists; childhood stories of the evils of the communist oppressors the Church originally fled from and the evil pirate slavers who occasionally raided Peter's Eden after first settlement have proved surprisingly difficult to expunge. Citizens of other theocracies have my pity, and my best wishes - I truly hope that they may find that which my ancestors failed to find.
Actually, I'd really rather you didn't call me that. Seriously. It's a name from my past that I'm not entirely fond of remembering. Just "Commander Sapyx" will be fine.
I'm from Peter's Eden. Yes, that Peter's Eden. Last I checked, there's still only one planet in the galaxy called that. In the Arexack system.
Arexack.
Everyone's heard the story of Arexack by now, surely. But in case you haven't, a quick rundown. A terraforming project that was abandoned some centuries earlier, the planet was re-colonized in 3061 by followers of an obscure religion, the Church of KumByar, fleeing from persecution on whatever communist-dictatorship planet they'd first found themselves on. The society completed the terraforming and progressed (or rather, not-progressed) in much the same fashion as other religious exclaves all over Human space have done, and the system would no doubt have remained in isolationist obscurity forever were it not for that fateful day in mid-3126.
Zack Blackbeam was a rich kid from the Old Worlds with nothing meaningful to spend his money on after he purchased a fleet of top-o-the-line ships. So, to take a break from the non-stop partying, he thought he'd play a prank on the simple folks of Peter's Eden. He bought a whole bunch of holographic projectors, pyrotechnics and whatnot, fitted them to his ship, set off for Arexack and, on arrival, staged a fake "Coming of KumByar". Since he wasn't actually KumByar, he couldn't actually deliver on KumByar's promise to lead the faithful into Paradise, so instead he told them they weren't allowed in because the community's leader, the Right Holy Ssord Rettu III, had a "displeasing shave". He then got back in his ship and took off, laughing. Little did he know the imminent repercussions of what he had just set off.
After lynching the unfortunate Ssord, the community promptly divided into two warring factions, violently and irreconcilably disagreeing on what exactly the "displeasing shave" meant. The Conservative faction believed that the shaving was incomplete and that no trace of hair must remain on their bodies. The Radical faction believed that shaving itself must be offensive to KumByar and that their entire bodies must therefore be covered with maximum hair. Word of the civil war got out, with traders bringing in weapons and supplies and mercenaries hiring themselves out to whichever faction paid the most. None of these foreigners, of course, had any interest in pointing out to the faction leaders that the whole thing was a terrible misunderstanding around a practical joke that had long ago ceased to be funny. Arexack became famous for being the only planet in the galaxy where everything was illegal to import except hair products and battle weapons.
My family came from the Moderate faction; we believed that we shouldn't really be getting all hot under the collar over something that we didn't really know the correct meaning of. But, being the only group that was interested in peaceful reconciliation and meaningful dialogue, we were small, ineffectual and hated by both of the other factions and, since we weren't interested in buying either hair products or hovertanks, the foreign traders ignored us too.
The situation could not last forever. Eventually, the truth about "The Joke" got out into the general population; I'm proud to say that the Moderates played an important role in this, though three of my grandparents paid with their lives for their efforts. In 3261, on the bicentennial of the colony's founding, a peace treaty was finally signed. The resultant enquiries revealed that the highest ranks of leadership of the two warring factions were fully aware of The Joke, but chose not to bring an end to the war earlier because it would mean admitting that their ancestors really had been that gullible. The scandal broke the political power of all of the Church factions in Arexack society and no faction of the Church now remains in the system as an organized theocratic faction. This betrayal by their leaders caused many followers to revoke their beliefs and call upon the interim governing council of the system to ask the outside galaxy for aid.
The Federation was the first superpower to arrive with reconstruction assistance, though being a border system about halfway between Sol and Achenar, the Empire was not far behind. The two superpowers signed a memorandum of understanding, agreeing to not use Arexack as a political football for a surprisingly long time, instead focussing on the task of fully integrating the former isolationist world back into galactic society.
So, where does that leave me, personally? I left Arexack twenty years ago, while the MOU was still in effect and Arexack was well on its way to prosperity. I've been back a few times - the last time I was there a couple of years ago, the Federation were still firmly in control, though I see on the galaxy map that the Empire has recently claimed ascendancy. Personally, it doesn't really bother me one way or the other. I have seen the chaos that isolationist Independent governments can bring, and the benefits that a benevolent galactic power can bring to a broken world. I support the Federation, and the Empire, out of gratitude for helping my planet in its time of need. I also support the Alliance and everything it stands for as well; I recognize that they were too remote to come to our aid. This "support" of the superpowers does not extend to my supporting any of the superpowers in their petty, pointless conflicts with each other - I know from experience that the superpowers are better than that - though I will happily support their efforts in taking over other Indie systems, as it's the Indies that I dislike the most. Especially anarchists and communists; childhood stories of the evils of the communist oppressors the Church originally fled from and the evil pirate slavers who occasionally raided Peter's Eden after first settlement have proved surprisingly difficult to expunge. Citizens of other theocracies have my pity, and my best wishes - I truly hope that they may find that which my ancestors failed to find.
