Congratulations to last week's winner Frank who chose the fantastic topic "The Answer" for this week's contest. This is possibly the best topic we have ever had. Thanks Frank!
Please read the drabbles below and vote for your favourite 3. Anyone can vote and anyone can enter, we welcome all players, especially Frank who is awesome.
Psykokow hosts the Abraka-Drabble live reading show and "comedy" hour at 7pm GMT, Fridays on...
HUTTON ORBITAL RADIO! http://streaming.radionomy.com/HuttonOrbitalRadio (audio only)
LAVE RADIO! http://laveradio.com/ (audio only)
TWITCH! http://www.twitch.tv/psykokow/ (audio & visual)
and will also be uploaded to his You-tube channel & anywhere else he can inflict the world with our drabblings!
Come back on Sunday night to see how well your Drabble has done. At least come back before Monday 15:00 to check if you're the one that has to provide us with a topic.
Please vote. And a warning to all of the contestants, Don't vote for yourself or else you will be sent out seeking answers for your sins
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01 - Psykokow - The End
It had been debated heatedly. Yet, blank Looks still adorned everyone’s face.
The Cabin lights Flickered briefly.
The tremor through the ship’s hull strengthened and some panels sparked as wires where shaken loose. The ship listed slightly and the gravity well of the black hole continued to pull the ship ever closer.
Frank cursed, Alien sighed heavily, Listeri snuck to the toilet, Hankey searched for the scoop, Simoof swore and ate some crisps, Midden however did absolutely nothing.
So, the question?
“What do you do when certain death is a mere few hours away?”
Only time would tell
02 - Futuristic Kung Fu - The Answer of the Elite
Every planet, station, outpost, battle cruiser, cargo hauler and shuttle in the quadrant had received the signal.
The planet it originated from was triangulated, all those who had the means converged upon it, seeking riches, power or fame.
Federation and Empire set aside their squabbles, the spaceways were free of any trade. And yet none left orbit, for, though they had sworn to be fearless, none dared.
Great letters were burned into the surface of the planet. RAXXLA, they spelled.
At last, one brave pilot plunged into the atmosphere, for he searched The Answer.
03 - Listeri69 - What do you get if you cross a potato with an elephant???
Tommy didn't know what the answer was.
It was costing him a fortune not just in Sidewinders, payouts from the last 'Incidents'.
They kept saying 'lose some weight ya fat freak',
what exercise is one supposed to do in a zero-G environment.
Tommy sobbed as he bit into his deep fried lard. He'd even been kicked off a multi-crew ship,
the ship hadn't installed enough holo-projectors to show his whole body and his naked, square, unfinished form had freaked out the passengers.
Then it came to him. he needed a specialist ship.
Satisfied with himself he ordered a 5th pizza....
04 - Frank - R.S.V.P
Such a simple little emoticon. It looks quite lonely, but then both of us are alone together in space, summoned by the same signal source.
It's a simple greeting with a hidden subtext. It asks "friend or foe?". He'll have noticed my ship is better equipped than his. Will I share what we find in this wreck we've both happened upon? Will I politely ask him to leave? Or will I do something else?
I rest my finger on my fire trigger. I bring my ship round to bear on him. Well, it would be rude not to reply.
05 - Galactic Midden - Questions and Man Sores
"Tell us another Gramps" the cadets cheered.
"NO, sod off", said Gramps. With that he staggered to his feet and wandered over to the bar. "Hey Frank" he began, "what's with the funny face"?
"It's no a funny face" replied Frank, "it's ma hullo-me warrior decal. I paid 40 credits to get this branded onto my skull. It was strange though, I had to go to ship outfitting to get it applied. Hurt like a Leestian STD!"
"Ah, Leestian romance, I remember it well. Sweetness in the evening, red raw in the morning. One quest won then itch and swear".
06 - Commander Sir Samuel Vimes - Always plan your next step
He'd known on taking the job it might take a while although he hadn't realised it would be 10 years of seeing the same faces in a secure secret base. Finally though he had it, the Thargoids one major weakness.
Now he just had to get the answer to both the empire and the Federation. Of course he needed to make sure the Thargoids didn't find out his breakthrough and make some changes to their ships.
Just one slight problem with that, 10 years ago no one wanted to supply and fund top secret Thargoid research bases
Except the Thargoids
07 - cleonymus - Proposal
Jameson stared at the Holome. It showed a youthful commander whose service record belied his apperance. A new promotion to Trader Elite. The boy had spent 6 months visiting a good portion of the bubble, trading who knew what, to gain the impressive rank. Now, he was here, asking for his daughters hand.
Jameson reflected on his own youth.
The exploration, the combat, the excitement, the danger.
He looked at the service record again.
Trade Elite, yet still mostly harmless.
It's a dangerous galaxy and he wanted his daughter to be safe.
He deployed hardpoints, the youth deserved an answer.
08 - Bikky - Looking for the Answer
Deep space exploration crew of the heavily modified Anaconda ‘aGENda’ attempting the use of a prototype drive to take them to the next galaxy.
“Hit it.” Says captain Prefect.
Engineer Dent responds “Charging, let’s find the answer.”
A massive shudder and lurch as the Anaconda’s twin power plants drive the massive requirements.
Several minutes pass before the captain shouts for a navigation update.
“We’re looking good,” says nav officer Babel, “It’s the distance warped that’s taking time.”
Several more minutes pass and the ‘agenda’ drops out of Galjump. A vista of new stars in front, spelling two words.
09 - Danothy Grubbypants - I’ve realised that the wordcount is unaffected by the title so I’ve decided to call this one a really long and rambling name so that Kow can splutter and cough his way through it if it gets into the drabble show, making a complete farce of the wordcount and hopefully, if Winnard and Moof are paying attention, start a trend of vast and wordy titles to accompany more and more drabbles until it eventually leads to a name change to ‘Abrakatitle’. In the meantime, here’s a drabble about two dumbasses in the void.
‘Dur, what’s dat fing on der radar Commander?’
‘Dirk, I’ve told you a hundred times, that’s us. The middle is always us. Got it?’
‘Er, so what’s dat over dere den?’
‘<sigh> That, my dear Dirk, is another ship.’
‘Why’s it a triangle doh?’
‘Because, you imbecile, it has deployed it’s hardpoints.’
‘But why doh? We’re the only ship around aren’t we?’
‘And wot’s dat squirly thing coming from over there?’
‘On the radar?’
‘Nope. Fruh der window.’
‘Do you mean the canopy?’
‘Er, ok den, der canopy. Wot’s dat?’
The missile impacted before the answer came.
10 - Alien - Not to be outdone by Danothy Grubbypants and also to make The Kow squirm even more is an even longer title to also make a mockery of the wordcount and hopefully lead to a change in the name of the show to "Now come on this is getting silly you can't just name your drabbles with stupidly long titles even if it is ridiculously funny to watch Kow suffer and I don't like the name Abrakatitle it should be called Alien is the true deserving winner not Frank, so ner" so here is a drabble about two other dumbasses this time in the Thargoid And Fer-De Lance Bar
"What is going on in the bar?"
"Apparently Sven is trying out a new act"
"What's the act?"
"She gets up on stage and insults people"
"I can't see that going down well."
"On the contrary, people are loving it. Bar sales are up and Moof is even selling rat-onna-stick."
"Rat-onna-stick? Is that allowed? I am sure there's a copyright issue there, if not then maybe an environmental health issue."
"Nah, he paid them off."
"Oi no need to shove, it's getting a bit crowded in here for a Monday night. So what's this act called then?"
"The Ann Swears."
11 - Edith_The_Hutt - Primrose
Someone else’s blood sluiced off her bruised and broken flesh as she waited.
The courier's shower was a hand-held nozzle and fixed basin; it was enough, for the first time in a long time she was clean.
The blade cut her hair roughly, long black strands stuck to the mirror before being pulled into an air filter. She made lists: safe havens, allies, and enemies. Slavers paid in gold would soon pay in blood.
The timer chirped. An answer to a question she had forgotten asking: a deep blue line along the beige plastic rod.
Well, that made things interesting.
12 - RoyalHankey - Never forget your friends birthday and you will be safe.
Psykokow and Simoof bought a new SRV.
It was the fastest SRV on the planet..
Until on day they listened to Simoof's Mobile.
It said " Alert, traffic queue ahead slow down".
Psykokow said "We are in a SRV we don't have to use roads".
They veered off into the woods.
Simoof said "Slow down for 5 minutes and turn right".
Psykokow replied "Why do we need slow down".
"Wait a minute, wait a minute" replied Simoof
Bang crash the SRV hit a large tree.
Simoof died straight away leaving his brother to die a very, very slow and painful death.
13 - justaminotaurtoo - Bar Banter on Shekel Prime by Kester Park
Leopoldo leaned across the grog-stinking table.
"Who you thing best trader? In all this sector."
"Aldrek, gol' trader? Sexy Samira, an' her silky panties?"
"D'you really want to know? Cos I've thought about this..."
"Ratman and him ammo-unition?"
"Technically not a trader. Pirate."
"She's the old one-eyed beggar woman."
Leopold bent backward, guttering laughter.
"This your answer?"
"I'm serious! Even Ratman gives you somethin' for your clink. Lucia... excoriates your soul, makes you feel like your own spondoolies don't belong to you."
"Not bad, Earthling."
Then, jerking one finger skyward, "Another Caipirinha for he!"
14 - insanephoton - The big question
It was a question as old as time 'Are we alone in the universe?'. The professor had said knowing the answer either way would be profound. Shoshshanna wasn't so sure.
Looking at the night sky Shoshanna caught sight of a strange meteor. It looked as though it would land close. It vanished behind the hillside with a flash and bang followed by a low rumble. Shoshanna crested the hill expecting utter devastation only to be confronted by a huge craft crewed by grotesque creatures with only four limbs. Trembling with fear she now realised that the professor had been right.
15 - Felixbast - Why?
Everyone on the planet saw the news feed.
Saw the little girl crawl out from underneath the collapsed building.
Watched in tearful despair as she cried out for the dead parents who would never answer.
Afterwards, people got angry and asked why?
Why had the Presidential troops bombed the building?
Why had the President sent troops to stop a miners strike?
Why did the President still have the controlling interest in the mining consortium?
Why was the richest man on the planet, also the President?
For many people, all these questions had the same answer.
“Because we let it happen”.
16 - phong - Does subliminal advertising work?
The threep looked at itself in the mirror.It had been a close run thing,the battle between parasite and host,each transplant learning and transmitting its knowledge to its siblings before inevitable death from stupidity;the rush to surgery; the renewal of the battle for dominance of mind and body of this curious orange appendage with its unruly childlike views raging 'not fair' at all and sundry.It clamped down firmly on the thoughts of the eleven previous 'enhancements' and the rush for replacements('Reach For The Stars With Hutton Truckers')and strode out to address congress assembled.
17 - Entarius Fusion - The Quest to be the best
Commander Davis hit the ground and promptly split open after the 1 kilometer drop from the cargo hold of a hovering cobra Mark 3. Commander Chuffington was displeased, he had shot him, stabbed him, and tortured him for over 2 days trying to find out how much Tantalum the Hutton Truckers had shipped out for the community goal. It was fruitless anyway, this commander didn't know anything, time was running out. Without the information he wouldn't make the top 10. Frustrated he stomped back into the cockpit and began to charge the frame-shift drive. he still didn't have The Answer
18 - Simoof (him who was premature) - The Trasmission (sic) - a question of taste
The captain jumped from his seat and ran out the cockpit.
"What is it?" the co-pilot asked, staring at the now vacant captains chair.
The comms officer shrugged "The communication was private. I've no idea what it was about."
The weapons officer squeed - "I've just recieved a manifest of a new weapons array to be installed"
"Oh dear" the science officer uttered, his handheld scanner beeping decisevly.
"What is it?!" the co-pilot asked again, growing more frustrated.
"All I know is what it isn't" replied the science officer pointing at the captains chair, "And that most definitely is not chocolate."