@FoxyDee I'm so sorry and I totally relate. There are images I saw long ago and still can't get out of my head. Videos of how farmed animals are slaughtered for instance. Also things I saw in Vietnam, which is similar to China in its consumption of every and any living thing and zero animal protection laws. I saw awful things...I'll spare you the details. I'm so sensitive to it I can't even unblur the text you've written of what you saw in the video. Thank you for doing that and sorry that I can't give you my full solidarity as a witness in this instance. I've seen too much already and it hurts too much. Even now just thinking about it all makes me feel nautious and depressed. Why are we the cruellest species on earth, just why.
I think the only thing to do is to acknowledge that there is terrible violence and cruelty in the world, that we can't change, and sadly it always goes on. Just as there are terrible wars going on now, and people suffering from climate disasters. The only thing we can do is be kind in our little corners, and if we can, donate our money or time towards projects that aim to help.
I have a neuroscience trick that may help. When you have an intrusive thought that becomes difficult to stop, you can retrain your brain. Pick a very boring visual image, something you mildly dislike but that is innocuous. For me its Gary Linneker (British ex footballer, always on tv, bores the hell out of me, as does the name Gary). Every time you have the thought that you don't want, try to switch to just visualising the boring thing. Focus on that boring thing like you're flicking a switch, and let it go. Keep at it though each time the sad thought comes back. Eventually it will get easier and you will teach your monkey mind that its going to be bored having this thought. It will come less often and when it does it will be easier to switch it off. This is how people with OCD can help themselves but it can work for anybody.
Your beautiful dog is so lucky to have you and is living the best best life. All we can do is love the animals in our lives and be mindful of what consumerism we participate in
