Fact is the term "kill" has been used in games for decades for the demise, destruction or otherwise removing a character from a game session, even if only temporarily.
That's never been in dispute.
The connotations being assigned to the term, in the context it's being abused in here, is what I take issue with.
Doing the "akshually you don't get killed" isn't helpful at best, and purposefully distracting from the issue at hand (namely the reaction of the "killed" player) at worst.
I have
exactly the same take on the use of the word 'killed' when trying to justify the reaction of the player to their character being 'killed' in a game/setting that doesn't assign any special significance to that event.
It's not helpful and purposely distracts from the issue at hand, namely the grossly disproportionate counter-reactions oft suggested as response to these events.
In other words, people saying "Go play solo" can be ignored. People who say "Its not fair, people play in solo" can be ignored.
Aside from stripping the statements of their context and conflating them with each other, for the sake of some sweeping over generalizations that disingenuously suggests a contradiction, they usually were.
Of course, there is a spectrum of responses to such statements, outside and beyond obey, ignore, or co-opt for a joke, that you aren't taking into account.