Tales from an alternate universe

'Seriously?This is the best you can come up with?'
Glumly he studied his image in the full length mirror, the once steely glare of ice blue now paled to the pewter glint of a dull butterknife.
'It's the only way we can get you onto the moonlet without being noticed.As you know,Satyr surrounds himself with a bevy of lovelies and no men are allowed.If you went as yourself,you'd stick out a mile.'
'Yes,but fake novelty bleasts?'
'Be careful with those!They're not easy to come by in this part of the galaxy.'
'Not standard issue,then?'
'Oh no,these are for your guise only.Now stand still whilst i adjust the voice modulater.'
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'No time like the present,' yelled R.P., ducking to avoid the furious beams of coherent light that flashed and sparkled around his hastily withdrawn head.He patted his jacket pockets searching for his final round,the one that would deal a bodyblow to the gang of murderous thugs intent on his demise.
'Time's up, old man.Might as well give it up and come out.You ain't got nowhere left to go.'
He sighed and shook his head sadly at the sorry lack of education evidenced by this latest statement as he thrust the round into the chamber of his adapted Antana Classic 5.
Brickdust spattered down on him as the barrage slackened off, and he risked a peek around the side of his hiding place.Shadows flickered through the fog,backlit by the harsh lights of the landing pad beyond,and soon the alleyway was filled with the shapes of his supposed executioners.
He waited until they were far enough into the alley before raising his weapon.With a dull -pfft- the polyptoton arced into the air,tumbling end over end in a lazy parabola before splitting apart, the fragments resolving into word play of such tortuous ferocity that within seconds the gang lay twitching at his feet,hands desperately clutching aching sides and bleeding ears in a futile attempt to stem the tide of mangled words and distorted phrases that threatened their very sanity.
He reholstered his weapon,the movement briefly exposing the badge on his belt that attested to his official Department of Vocal Purity status.Standing over the distraught bodies of his assailants,still jerking as the occasional flash of sparkling wit discharged into the bodys neural pathway,he gazed down impassively.
'If you'd stayed in school you'd know that it's no fun without pun.'
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The End Of The Affair
(PART 1)

View attachment 137709
Staring out through the thick windows of the observation tower,he
gradually became aware of the sales assistant,hovering respectfully
over his shoulder.

'She's a beauty,isn't she sir?'
View attachment 137713

He turned,slightly surprised at her tone.View attachment 137715
'I'll take a half dozen.In green.'

There was a brief flicker of hesitation in her response before she
smiled.'Certainly sir.If you'll step into the office i'm sure we can
come to terms.As you know we are relatively new here,so immediate
supply may be an issue,but we're expecting a shipment-delivery
within the next two days...?'

'What about that one?'He nodded towards the show model,sat gleaming
beneath the arc-lights on pad six.
She paused,weighing the prospect of future sales against the risk of
whatever trouble she might get in from head office.View attachment 137717

The 22k ly difference made her mind up for her.
'Allow me to show you around'

The Core Dynamics stock Eagle boasts a top speed of 240m/s and an
impressive boost of 350m/s.It is also very cramped when two people try to squeeze into the space designed for the average foldable joe.*
She allowed him to seat himself,squirming comfortably into
position,before she began her pitch,leaning over his shoulder as she
ran through the various options,panels,levers,dials,switches,aids
and gizmos neccessary for normal flight operations.

He listened impassively,elegant hands gripping the flight
stick,occasionaly breaking in with a question or a wry comment.She
felt herself warm to him as he continued absorbing the knowledge she
threw at him ,his constant probing draining her of every last scrap
of information.
Finally,she straightened herself,leaning back awkwardly in the
confined quarters,sweat prickling on her brow,awaiting his response.
For the first time he looked square at her,before grinning and
holding out one fist.She smiled with relief at the glyphs and
reached out a glyph of her own.Bump.Transaction complete,she
relaxed,letting out a slow breath of air, only now becoming aware of
just how warm things had become.

View attachment 137721View attachment 137719View attachment 137720

Her head swam with elation at the thought of her first major
sale,and what it would do for her reputation.

She was vaguely aware of Tower giving clearance,and the pad dropping
away from beneath them,the solid clunk of landing gear
retracting,the calm voice of a standard fitted Computer Vocal Assist module acknowledging
the change in flight dynamics,and then they were falling.

View attachment 137722
She gasped,bracing herself against the bulkhead,awaiting the
inevetable crash,but he goosed the controls,and they settled back
down on the rapidly ascending pad,rocking slightly,and he glanced
again at her,laughter in his eyes.
She couldn't help herself,giggling at his antics as they bumped around
the pad,hooting loudly.​
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The delight in his eyes turned to confusion as Covas broke the spell,and a loud rising hum filled her ears. Whisps of steam arose from the fascia, sparks flew.
Covas warned insistently of their increasing peril to the bewildering sounds of an orchestra of klaxons.

She staggered,lurched and fell forward,knocking his hands from the yoke.He snatched at it,juggling thrusters in a desparate attempt to retain control of the wildly gyrating craft,wrestling the vessel away from impact,each maneouvre sending her sprawling,and she must have passed out for a moment, because when she came to, he had managed kill momentum and they were rocking to a standstill in a corner of the pad.

'Ermm..what's silent running,again?' he shouted above the cacophony.
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