1: ED matchmaking is and always has been at player discretion. You can chose not to be matched with anyone in any instance, you can choose to matched only with a particular list of other players or you can choose to be matched with anyone at all.
2: This is a per-session decision and you can change it every time you start the game without loss of progress or any other penalty.
3: This is by design and has been a known feature of the game since before its release.
Now, these three things are not opinions, they are demonstrable facts. "Disagreeing" with them is merely being in denial.
What follows is my opinion rather than demonstrable fact so feel free to disagree.
If any of those three facts are a deal-breaker for an individual player then I wonder why they are even here. Were you an early backer advocating a different design and sadly it didn't go the way you wanted? If so, I'm sorry for your disappointment but it is what it is. Did you buy the game post-release in ignorance of the above facts? If so, I'm afraid I have little sympathy but I'm sure we've all made a few mistaken purchases in our lives.
It's not about "PvP mode" or "PvE mode" it is simply "who do I want to play with this time?" and I get to choose between "nobody", any of several subsets of players of which I am a member or "everybody".
I can understand hardcore PvP players being frustrated at not finding enough like-minded folks in the huge galaxy that is ED unless they go to CG systems or other known centers of player population. However, a little thought of the size of the ED universe and the known game mechanics should have made it clear that this is how the PvP experience would look. You're still welcome to play the game your way, and there are places where you can find the kind of experience you want. There is absolutely no need to change anything for other players in order for you to do that. Sometimes I'm in the mood for PvP myself and I do the same you do - I climb into a combat oriented ship that I can afford to lose and go to one of those places. I usually get handed my head, because I'm most definitely not hardcore about it, but when I'm in the mood it's still fun. However, because I'm not hardcore about it I am frequently not in the mood for that so then I choose my play mode, ship and destination accordingly. Anything that reduces my ability to do so will reduce the time I play ED, not increase it, so where does that leave those that "need a sizable player-base" then?