Welcome to the Drabble show. Last week's winner was Listeri69 he decided this week's topic would be "inappropriate behaviour"
Psykokow hosts the Abraka-Drabble live reading show and "comedy" hour at 7pm GMT, Fridays on...
HUTTON ORBITAL RADIO! http://streaming.radionomy.com/HuttonOrbitalRadio (audio only)
LAVE RADIO! http://laveradio.com/ (audio only)
TWITCH! http://www.twitch.tv/psykokow/ (audio & visual)
and will also be uploaded to his You-tube channel & anywhere else he can inflict the world with our drabblings!
Come back on Sunday night to see how well your Drabble has done. At least come back before Monday 15:00 to check if you're the one that has to provide us with a topic.
Please vote. And a warning to all of the contestants, don't vote for yourselves. Anyone caught voting for themselves shall be put over my knee and given a sound spanking.
01 - moose666 - Zen and the art of going to the lavatory
Psykokow was in the shower, testing how luxurious the Saud Kruger units really are.
His cats were investigating the pile of clothes on the floor.
"What's this then?" asked Zen, sniffing the pair of kecks.
"Dunno, he wears it round his bum" said Storm. "I think he uses it to keep his poo in"
"Did he change the litterbox yet?"
"No"
"Well, he can hold on to mine then" said Zen, assuming the position and faraway stare
"Is that appropriate behaviour?"
"One way to find out!"
Ten minutes later, the silence of the ship was broken by Psykokow going...
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
02 - Listeri69 - Same ship different day...
Simoof was in a joyous mood, he'd be getting his hands on a decent 2nd hand pink orca soon.
Ok, it had been rammed into winnard's hole a little too vigorously at times,
the cockpit was no longer shiny and there was some kind of sticky exoplasm all over the console.
But finally he had his own ship.
Kow had just purchased the Cobra Clubman mkIII after all.
What Simoof really wanted was a laser something to go pew-pew..
After getting one fitted he thought he'd have a cheeky test fire at a passing ship..
And that's when Simoof killed Psykokow....
03 - Frank - No Good Deed
Iggy raced through the galaxy faster than anyone before. Emerging from hyperspace, he drank deep and quick of the star's glowing energy before engaging frame-shift drive and again enduring the sight of rushing towards the whole Universe. This wasn't a sprint, nor a marathon. It was a mission of mercy.
"Have you just the one mining laser?"
"No. The more mining lasers, the more chance of Germanium"
"Good!"
Iggy dropped into normal space beside the wing beacon of the trapped Asp, but he'd four friends with him, in Anacondas, firing at him. His famous last words were "That's inappropriate behaviour!"
04 - Alien - This One Is For Our American Friends
"Why is he naked in our house?"
"You know what today is, right?"
"That's no excuse, why is he naked in OUR HOUSE? And why HIM?"
"Why not? I thought it would be punny."
"He's eating my facecream and eye shadow! And licking the dog! Make him stop!"
"It's really not as bad as you think, dear."
"He's twerking in the front window and all the neighbors can see it!"
"He doesn't have money to buy us a present so he thought he'd do this for us instead."
"And how is THIS ... a good thing?"
"Honey, it's Frank's Giving Day."
05 - cleonymus - Is that allowed?
The post had been scrutinised and puzzled over and the discussion still continued.
"100 words exactly. It qualifies as a Drabble."
"Yes but the subject is so ordinary.."
"You mean it is set in the right universe?"
"Yes. No. What I mean is the tone is all wrong."
"Wrong? You mean there is no pun."
"It's not just the lack of pun. It's more than that."
"Ahh, your worried about the toilet humor."
"There is no toilet humor."
"And that worries you."
"Partly but the last line is simply wrong."
"The last line? You mean the bit where Simoof lives?"
06 - Entarius Fusion - Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch
Psykokow had opened his food unit to find all of the pie food cartridges missing, in a fit of rage he slammed the food unit closed.
"This is the last time someone eats all the pies!"
Psykokow opens his small locker and grabs a small wooden box with 'truth telling machine' written on it. Upon sensing the light the small machine inside begins to come to life "Who ate all the pies?" the machine slowly begins to output..... dot dot dot space dot dot space dash dash space dash dash dash space dash dash dash space dot dot dash dot
07 - TaoZero5 - Untitled
War has broken out in Wolf 359 and I should have been there by now.
Damn! I just got the bill for the most recent repairs to my Darlin' Conda - and that wasn't even a skirmish. Is it worth it?
Is he worth it? That crewman costs me almost as much. He hasn't stopped talking since I came on board. I think he must be nervous.
Oh, I ache all over, I need more coffee but . . I’m in the Chair. Checks Complete; "Request Launch". Thrusters, Lift. Oooohh, Yes!! That feels good.
"Stand To! We're going out fighting."
08 - Edith_The_Hutt - 34th Century Ettiquette
When meeting with the Emperor:
Do not approach closer to the throne than the closest ceremonial guard
Always kneel in the presence of the Emperor
Never look away from the Emperor
Address the Emperor as "Your Imperial Majesty"
Do not leave until dismissed.
Never turn your back on the Emperor.
When meeting with the President of the Federation:
Allow the President to approach you.
Shake the President's hand when offered
Do not sit down unless invited
Address the President as "Mr. President"/"Madam President" (as appropriate)
When meeting with the Thargoid Queen:
Run
Address the Queen as “OhGodIDon’tWantToDieSomeoneKillItKillItWithFireOhGodPleaseIDon’tWantToDieAggggh!”
Keep running
09 - phong - Lettuce leaf well alone.
Agent Muscaria,your new identity is Honey D'wurdz.
Your target is the infamous pirate 'Shoefly' McGurk who has been raiding the spaceways around the agricultural worlds in the Crucis sector.You are to fly the plotted route until you are intercepted,at which point you will use your undoubted charm to enlist in his cause.We've got something special in the hold which we know will intrigue him,but be warned.Dont let your mutual passion distract you from the task at hand.Find the pirate base. Farmers are counting on you.You'll be travelling in a pro-pirate bee hiver.
10 - Simoof - Sweet Pant-o-mime.
In relation to other events, Psykokows balls where small, but troublesome.
The Uhglee Cystars had locked one of Ambassaor S. Whites' Roman companions in an
anti-gravity chamber and had peed themselves watching him uncontrollably smash from side to side.
Snowy and 5 of her other 6 companions were not happy.
Syndarilla had come to see Prince Charmin' - a right . Bhel had been captivated by Moose666, truly hideous.
Arorra was puking up in the corner and would soon pass out again. Alees was out her face and talking to the cat.
Princess Psykokow smiled - she did like to hold balls.
11 - RoyalHankey - Happy Franks Say
"Why is Frank naked in his house?"
"You know what today is, right?"
"That's no excuse, why is he naked in HIS HOUSE? And why HIM?"
"Why not? I thought it would be funny."
"Frank's eating my dinner and ice cream! And licking his lips! Make him stop!"
"It's really not as bad as you think, dear."
"He's eating in the front window and all the neighbors can see it!"
"He doesn't have money to buy us a present so he thought he'd do this for us instead."
"And how is THIS ... a good thing?"
"Honey, it's Frank's Giving Day."
12 - Dan Grubb - Explosive Kowboyz.
Cargo was packed. Teams from all over the galaxy were converging on Sol. This was it. This was the meeting they'd all been waiting for.
For hours they toiled, setting up equipment, stocking the bar, setting the stage.
Then it happened.
Simoof and Midden were seen racing towards the toilets, Psykokow in hot pursuit.
What followed shook the beautiful Guildhall to its very foundations.
Moof's 'special' pizza has now been removed from the menu and those lost commemorated on a wall plaque in cubicle three.
Next year's meeting will be held outdoors. Nose clips will be issued to all delegates.
13 - insanephoton - Explosive Kowboyz.
The pink Beluga drifted to a halt in front of the slab sides of the huge octagonal alien ship.
'Try hailing them' ordered Captain Kow.
'No response on any frequency' reported Alien.
'Ok let's try flashing our lights'
The octagonal ship remained impassive.
Simoof was feeling bored and had an idea. He reached forward to fire the ADS.
An immense honk reverberated through the Beluga.
'What the? Why the hell did you do that Moof?' cried Captain Kow.
He never got an answer as just then the alien ship started to deploy weapons and that's how the Thargoid war started.
