Community Event / Creation We all come together to write Drabble contest #158: Ipso Facto and Unity

Pick three of these stories

  • 01 - Frank - Buddy can you spare a Groat?

    Votes: 7 41.2%
  • 02 - cleonymus - Buddy I have "Groats" to spare!

    Votes: 3 17.6%
  • 03 - RoyalHankey - How may times can yo kill a commander

    Votes: 1 5.9%
  • 04 - Saint John Hawke - What is on earth going on near Maia

    Votes: 1 5.9%
  • 05 - moose666 - The origins of psykokow's pink orca

    Votes: 2 11.8%
  • 06 - Darkoba - A Sensitive Problem.

    Votes: 1 5.9%
  • 07 - Alien - I'll Get My Coat v

    Votes: 2 11.8%
  • 08 - Listeri69 - Tanta stultitia mortalium est (Ipso Facto)

    Votes: 3 17.6%
  • 09 - Simoof - 2 for 1 on puns

    Votes: 3 17.6%
  • 10 - Edith_The_Hutt - Bringing people together

    Votes: 6 35.3%
  • 11 - Galactic Midden - the inevitable

    Votes: 1 5.9%
  • 12 - Erik Marcaigh - Boys Will be Boys

    Votes: 3 17.6%
  • 13 - phong - Ipso Facto

    Votes: 5 29.4%
  • 14 - insanephoton - A Stitch in Tme

    Votes: 5 29.4%

  • Total voters
  • Poll closed .

Each week we come here and contribute to this great thread. Each story a separate entity but together as one they make a competition which is more entertaining than reading each of the stories on their own.

We had a trinity of winners last week, Simoff, Myself, and Mindwipe. My fellow winners may think they deserve credit for such cracking Drabbles, but I think it is just me that deserves that pat on the back. We chose the subjects "Ipso Facto" and "Unity"

Psykokow hosts the Abraka-Drabble live reading show and comedy hour at 7pm GMT, Fridays on...
LAVE RADIO! (audio only)
TWITCH! (audio & visual)
and will also be uploaded to his You-tube channel & anywhere else he can inflict the world with our drabblings!

Make sure you come back on Sunday night to see how well your Drabble has done. At least come back before Monday 15:00 to check if you're the one that has to provide us with a topic.

Please vote. And a warning to all of the contestants, don't vote for yourselves. Anyone caught voting for themselves shall.. erm,.. let me look up what ipso facto means.

Anyone caught voting for themselves shall have lots of Roman phrases yelled at them, and because of this they will end up with a splitting headache.

01 - Frank - Buddy can you spare a Groat?

News just in. Alioth pulling out of the Single Galactic Market has destabilised everything. The Bank of Zaonce has dissolved the Galactic Credit, and systems are having to resort to old currencies. Arque will re-introduce the New-Caledonian Groat, and a large proportion of the galaxy are promoting the Solarian Dollar as the currency of the MegaCorps.

The independent system, Shesmu, thought using The Trumble as a unit of exchange would make them all very rich because of their famed reproductive rate, but they ended up with runaway inflation.

Ipso facto the galaxy's in turmoil. Only the trade negotiators are richer.

02 - cleonymus - Buddy I have "Groats" to spare!

"I know it was a typo. I can understand the mistake. That still leaves me with the problem of buying enough fuel to jump to a scoopable star so I can go somewhere that WILL take my cargo."
The docker shook his head sadly. "You will have to sell something, perhaps some ships equipment. That fuel scoop looks to be in good condition."
"Is everyone in Arque a joker? They changed the the currency in Arque, the report said. Special prices at the commodity market it said."
The frustrated captain kicked the cargo canister. Inside the goats all started bleating.

03 - RoyalHankey - How may times can yo kill a commander

There was a group based at Unity in New Yembo
They are Mindwipe, Psykookow, Rascon and Alien.
They had all 1 mission in mind, Kill Simoof
First was Mindwipe he sneaked behind a asteroid
Firing his torpedos gave Simoof no time.
As Simoof exited the station Psykokow fired 12 heatseakers.
They ripped Simoof Sidewinder to ribbons, killing him again
Next came Reascon, ramming him with his orca, now that was cheating.
But the best was saved till last. Simoof hid inside the station.
Alien was in for a hard time, but fired her rail guns and then Simoof died again.

04 - Saint John Hawke - What is on earth going on near Maia

It was a tense time for the Empire and Federation
They had no quarrel with each other.
All was well between them but there was tension.
It was from somewhere near Maia system.
The thargoids was Colonizing everywhere.
General Zod called for Unity, and he answered yes sir.
Where is the Empires Fleet.
I don't know replied Unity
Something big is happening here and I want know what.
Yes sir, wrecked ships everywhere said Unity.
Surely these can't all be Mahddogs replied Zod
What makes you say that Sir?
Mahddog would run out of fuel way before he ever gets here.

05 - moose666 - The origins of psykokow's pink orca

Psykokow came up to the landing pad, and did a double take.
"Alien, where's my T9?"

Instead of the lakon brick, a pink orca graced the pad.
"It's the result of leaving your bank details to Mindwipe and Simoof, you can probably contest the transaction."
"That involves lawyers though, they argue black is white with latin gibberish like 'modens tolens ipso facto, sic as a parrot'"

Kow then saw the name on it's side : 'The Potatorca'
"RIGHT" he snapped, "get those two, we're going on a trip to New Yembo"

And thats how Simoof and Mindwipe got marooned on unity.

06 - Darkoba - A Sensitive Problem.

"That's the problem with gadding about the galaxy, begetting dynasties everywhere; various factions of the family fight over who inherits. That's why you're having trouble writing your will."

"I know" the aged trader groaned. "I shouldn't have let them know about each other. They could even start a minor interstellar war. Whoever gets something, the others will want to take it from them. They'll kill to get it. I need to find a way to make them share equally."

"Leave it to Mindwipe and Simoof! They'll be murdered. The family will have to share, inheritance AND guilt. Ipso facto, Unity."

07 - Alien - I'll Get My Coat

Comms opened, A weary old gentleman answered "yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?"
"Ipso Facto deliveries, we deliver - it's a fact-o!"
"I um, ... don't um, ... have any um, ... record of um, ... any delivery today."
"Our delivery note says 10,000 tons of Ginseng and Assam. We have several ship loads to give you."
"I um, ... am sure um, ... it's a um, ... mistake."
"I have it right here, it says you need tea."
"But um, ... we um, ... only sell um, ... coffee. ... Who um, ... placed um, ... the order?"
"Oh I see the mistake now, I guess that's what happens when you leave it to Mr Mindwipe and Mr Simoof!"

08 - Listeri69 - Tanta stultitia mortalium est (Ipso Facto)

'I took this mission from the bulletin board' Psykokow read out the mission 'Small medium at large. Wanted: midget psychic for ripping people off reward 10,000,000cr'
'Is that the bloke who was in the bar the other day?' Simoof asked
'Yeah he said beware of an old miner drinking janx 100cr he charged me for that....'
'an old miner is nothing to be scared of..'
'if we work together in unity all those credits can be ours'
'I'll drink to that' Simoof picked up a bottle of janx
'Oi that's mine you pig-fart' Frank screamed as a pickaxe killed Simoof

09 - Simoof - 2 for 1 on puns

Commander Ipp barked at Commander Tow "Stop drinking coffee and sleep!", Ipp stormed off.
Bhum consoled the startled Tow, "Ipps so fat Tow. Ignore her."
Tow twitched, "No, she is right."
Bhum noticed Tow looked awful, "When'd you last sleep?"
"7 days, 6 hours and 21 minutes ago" Tow spluttered, "If I sleep they will find me."
Bhum sighed.. out his bum.
"Who? What did you do?"
"I was at the Admirals birthday party; he was harping on how we all had to unite and join together. I was drunk. There was glue."
Bhum interrupted "Ipp's right, You need tae."

10 - Edith_The_Hutt - Bringing people together

Utopia marched to war.

From the day a set of grainy fisheye photos and the leaked news of Homo Supplementum hit Galnet, bloodshed was inevitable.

Quickly, sides were drawn; competing ideologies split families, bought pilots and raised war banners.

An “enlightened” few embraced the new paradigm, seeking to transcend the limits of the flesh and merge their conscious thoughts with the new AI. Their opponents would be re-educated and upgraded.

The majority fought to preserve existence as they knew it. Petty factionalism was cast aside in defence of the human condition.

Both sides fought beneath the same blood-stained slogan: Unity.

11 - Galactic Midden - the inevitable

"We'll get a mindwipe"

"Are you kidding? Remember what happened to Arnie!" Phil stared at Semone, a piece of landing netting quivering in his hands.

"That won't change those stupid wills!?" Phil gesticulated angrily, releasing the netting upwards into the path of a descending trader.

"Calmness" Semone said shaking her head, "this deception always works. Insurance is confirmed, we get the temporary wipe then disappear".

The now blinded trader descended, fast.

When the station's safety inspectorate turned up hours later they ran the insurance checks and found the two named benefactors now sadly unified under the Type 9's landing gear.

12 - Erik Marcaigh - Boys Will be Boys

The attorney concluded his final statement, "The Hutton Mug theft at Unity Dock was committed by the only person there, ipso facto, Commander Galactic Midden."


The jury was in their third day of deliberations when the bailiff stepped in, "Oi, what's the status?"

"Ten of us have voted guilty. We're waiting on Mindwipe and Simoof to quit arguing and vote."

"I'm beginning to think they're sticking it out for the free food. The judge says you've got thirty more minutes, tops."

Thirty minutes later, the judge ended the case, declaring a hung jury.

And that's how Mindwipe and Simoof died.

13 - phong - Ipso Facto

At the top of the ramp,PsychoKow paused,drew a deep breath,settled his hat more firmly on his head and squinted out at the sun drenched plaza before descending to the waiting grav-chariot.The sounds of adulation rang in his ears as the cheering throngs pressed forward,bouquets thrust eagerly past the interlinked arms of those tasked with his security.He alighted at the foot of the palace steps and began the climb to the assembled applauding dignitaries above.
'Every Kow has his day' he thought as he recieved his medal from the emperor's own hand.Hero.First Class.

14 - insanephoton - A Stitch in Tme

Frank reluctantly boarded his Krait. He didn't quite believe Professor Marcaigh's reassurances about the time drive. Unfortunately there was no choice. Someone had to go back and prevent Alien and Simoof creating a causality paradox.

"Why me?" Frank had protested.
" You were the holder of the sparkly gold lame jacket and you refused to set a topic. Ipso facto what happened is your fault and your responsibility to clear up" chided Midden

"I guess I've only got my self to blame for leaving it to Simoof and Mindwipe to set the topic" muttered Frank as the Krait left Unity Station

A three-way tie already ;)... maybe we should leave it at that?

However, I do have to admit, I'm having difficulty finding a reference to this week's topics in Cleonymus' drabble, unless it's riding on the wake of Frank's galactic interpretation of Brexit - does that then coount?

Also the entry from Phong... Apart from the title, where's the link with the topic?

I'm not complaining about the quality of two rather entertaining drabbles... merely wondering how lax the rules are about writing on selected topics - or I am entirely missing the point, which is always a huge possibility, seeing as how I'm getting old and possibly decrepit.
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Here we go, the readings are perfection tonight.. enjoy!

Thanks for all the votes. The win was totally unexpected because of the results I saw last time I looked. I must've come up the rear.

The topic this week is going to be "Food"
Thanks for all the votes. The win was totally unexpected because of the results I saw last time I looked. I must've come up the rear.

The topic this week is going to be "Food"
You sure you don't want to pick, "Up the rear"? I bet there would be a number of good ones from that topic.
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