Try this and everything will be so obvious
https://www.frontierstore.net/games/elite-dangerous-cat/elite1984.html
There is a lot of time consuming stuff in Elite. The planetary one you picked out is one that irritates me too sometimes. I often hyperspace out to a random star away from the planet then plot where I need to go from there. Works for me but yep, need a giant slingshot.
For 1 & 2 I'd say eddb.io has the droids you are looking for.
For 5 you forget that most rocks throw out 4 to 5 items so really you need to hit 4 rocks for a guarantee of getting some. Anything above 5% I almost always will have 20-30 of the item in my cargo within the hour.
For knowing which rocks to hit for what materials:
http://elite-dangerous.wikia.com/wiki/Material
As for the wave scanner it's really not that difficult. There's like 5 rock types and only 3 of which you really need to know about. There is/was a bug with the wave scanner that made it tons more difficult than before, I think that may have got fixed in 2.3 but hey. I still managed to get 60 Arsenic in the space of an evening on a 2.5% chance world. It's not terrible, it's just not instant.
Which brings me to my final point. Elite is not an instant kinda game. It's Minecraft not Garys mod. That 80ft phallus you just made out of Gold means a lot more to you when it took time, effort and patience to build rather than just wishing it into existence. <- Paraphrased/quoted from here:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/2680-Minecraft
So yeah there are bits that can be made more convenient but there are bits that
shouldn't be made more convenient. Personally provided I have a direction to go in to get to my objective then I don't mind. It's when I'm aimlessly wandering unsure of how to get X item or use Y tool that I get frustrated.