Your funniest moments

So what are your funniest moments in Elite? Things you were doing that ended badly but you just had to laugh and just hoq quickly things escalated. It can be anything, even stuff you just do day to day in Elite. Videos are welcome but if you don't have just write it down. It's always good for a laugh and I'm sure other commanders have had the same experiences at some point.

I have two that spring to mind the first one involved Thargoids or should I still say "Aliens" at the moment? Anyway, I was suffering some hull damage that was getting serious (that's how I roll, uber space warrior) so I was heading to Maia, I also had an UA onboard destroying my modules.

I jumped into a system with my UA, a motherload of cartography data and lots of bounties to cash in, at this point I thought "I really don't need a fight right now". I recharged my FS drive and boom, just before I was about to jump out to Maia I get interdiction from online player "Nope!! not now please GOD not now!!" So I fight my way out of the interdiction and luckily the other player failed (despite the entire affair lasting like 3 minutes).

Ok so I'll jump now....GAH! Fuel, I need fuel, so I run to the nearest sun in the system all the while being persued by the online player and managed to grab enough fuel to jump out. Why I do this sort of thing to myself I don't know. Life on the edge and all that.

BOOM! I managed to jump out.

"Yes, Maia here I come."

"What's that noise...that's quite a haunting sound of a whale"

Computer - "Hyperspace conduit has become unstable"

"................................................".

So after all that I arrived in Maia. I headed to Obsidian Orbital. Interdiction!

"OH COME ON"

I put up a good fight, for 15 whole seconds I delivered a barrage of multi cannons and beam lasers from my tactical war rig (or DBX to be exact) to the Anaconda. I feel I dented something, I'm not sure what but I must have hit something!

I failed, my hull went critial and that was it.....despite my best efforts I never made it.

All I could do was laugh (to avoid crying like a child).

------

My second funny moment would be my ever so delicate traversal of a planet surface which escalated to a near death experience. That's normal though right? After all space is big and scary. So I landed on an ice planet with those large crevasse. I landed on the upper surface with a view to take the SRV down.

So I unloaded "super buggy" and headed towards the edge...."gosh that's a long way down" what's amazing about my play style is how it never occured to me to take the ship down, I'd rather try and drive the srv down. It says a lot about how I approach life in general.

So I started my descent, it went really well. Lovely and slow, traversing, finding shallow points that evened out nicely. Steeper and steeper it got. I'm thinking to myself at this point "I need to take the ship down" which is now so far away and high up I can't get back due to the angle of the incline I'm sitting on.

"I'll just keep going" I thought and planned to call the ship once I was down there. I was an a gathering mission anyway so I needed to see what was down there as the scanner was picking a few things up.

The incline got steeper and steeper, traversing was becoming hard and then it happeded...gravity took over.

For reasons best known to themselves the SRV wanted to go down backwards, which it did. I fought hard to turn it around, playing in VR makes this experience quite terrifying to be honest. I turned her around "YES" ...."NO" I see an edge coming up I can't turn from or stop, I threw the SRV into reverse but nothing happened I went over, at this stage the incline was so steep I was on gods humour as to the outcome, the srv started to leave the ground a but from speed and low gravity, I used my boosters to level out. At this stage I'm leaving the ground, facing backwards gaining speed all the time. It occured to me that I really should have just taken the ship down and I started to fantasize about the comfy cockpit.

Then it happend.....I hit a rock and off I went into the fastest spin I've ever experienced, I had to remove my vr headset at this point as it was too much. I watched as I tumbled, spun and smashing into everything. I tried my boosters again to level out, they sort of helped. Eventually after 5 minutes of painful sickness inducing freefall I came to a stop upside down facing the ground with 5% hull left.

I turned over and sat for a moment, I had landed next to one piece of carbon. I colelcted it and called my ship and left.

This is why I can't have nice things.
 
So many to choose from, I think I'll go with this (since I have video). I was running the "Kick the Alien" SRV race (which involved driving an SRV from the Noctrach-Ihazevich Research Facility to the nearby alien wreck and back to the base again as fast as possible). I spent a few hours filming the other competitors and at one point heard a distant explosion. About a minute later I saw a lone SRV wheel rolling down the hill and decided to follow it. Some time later its path was crossed by a second wheel and, having followed that for a bit, a third!

Well it made me laugh ...

[video=youtube_share;7eXn0FtuH7g]https://youtu.be/7eXn0FtuH7g[/video]

P.S. here are some of the other race practice highlights, also quite funny, especially Inga Stevenson's superb tumble down the hill (considering she's a VR pilot that one must have been truly nauseating!)

[video=youtube_share;O4roj7s_6aE]https://youtu.be/O4roj7s_6aE[/video]
 
My funniest moment was (and this is only loosely connected) when I first setup my PC to play Elite, I used an upturned plastic box container for a seat... You know... until I bought a real chair.

So, there I was over the Christmas holiday sat on my (up until then) trusty plastic box seat engaging in some speed trading when suddenly.... INTERDICTION !!! With all the frantic joystick wongaling my plastic seat literally suddenly exploded and collapsed from under me shattering into many bits. I rolled back onto the floor letting go of said joystick.
...oh how I laughed.

Flimley
 
So many to choose from, I think I'll go with this (since I have video). I was running the "Kick the Alien" SRV race (which involved driving an SRV from the Noctrach-Ihazevich Research Facility to the nearby alien wreck and back to the base again as fast as possible). I spent a few hours filming the other competitors and at one point heard a distant explosion. About a minute later I saw a lone SRV wheel rolling down the hill and decided to follow it. Some time later its path was crossed by a second wheel and, having followed that for a bit, a third!

Well it made me laugh ...



Hahaha that's actually brilliant, love it.

- - - Updated - - -

My funniest moment was (and this is only loosely connected) when I first setup my PC to play Elite, I used an upturned plastic box container for a seat... You know... until I bought a real chair.

So, there I was over the Christmas holiday sat on my (up until then) trusty plastic box seat engaging in some speed trading when suddenly.... INTERDICTION !!! With all the frantic joystick wongaling my plastic seat literally suddenly exploded and collapsed from under me shattering into many bits. I rolled back onto the floor letting go of said joystick.
...oh how I laughed.

Flimley
The images this produces are funny all by themselves haha
 
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@Alec turner.

Oh wow. I never knew such a thing could even happen. How amazing.

Flimley
Nor me really - people focus a lot on the large scale physics of Stellar Forge but the idea that the physics model for the instance (and for the individual bits of individual commanders SRVs) would continue running, and with such physical accuracy, is pretty darn amazing! The way those wheels run smoothly when rolling and then start wobbling and bounding down the hill, eventually correcting themselves back into more of a roll again .. it's a damn good simulation of Newtonian physics as far as I can tell.
 
Would not say my funniest moments, but did make my heart race.

Another commander set me up to take the fall for firing inside stations no fire zone, old griffing trick.

I escape due to newly fitted mirror armour.
No HUD (10 minutes air), No shields, 10% hull and 1% thursters, I jump to new system.
I then get jumpped by NPC. As normal I boost away, but before I get outside 4km range NPC destroy's thursters.
But I am now traveling faster than he can keep up. Catch 22. No more damage, but unable to stop or jump.
First time EVER I have had to FIND and use reboot ship system. Logging out of game to look information.
 
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Finding the dream instance of Hi Res bounty hunting, like 100% Anacondas, one after another, plenty of security forces. 800k in a few minutes, try to untarget a chaffing ship to go fixed, accidentally target security, fire once, assault bounty, attacked, have to leave.
 
Nor me really - people focus a lot on the large scale physics of Stellar Forge but the idea that the physics model for the instance (and for the individual bits of individual commanders SRVs) would continue running, and with such physical accuracy, is pretty darn amazing! The way those wheels run smoothly when rolling and then start wobbling and bounding down the hill, eventually correcting themselves back into more of a roll again .. it's a damn good simulation of Newtonian physics as far as I can tell.
Yeah I've seen similar things with parts of the mining rigs you can blow up. Seem to remember it was some kind of 'hub cap' type affair that bounded off on its edge for a while. I also followed it doggedly :D

---

Funniest stuff I've encountered have involved other Cmdrs. I've got this piracy foolishness typed up so it'll serve, although it's more just me amusing myself in this case ;)...

A failed escape, but a fun one. Think it was against an FDL...

Agreed to cut my T6's engines with the words: 'Right you are, HAL cut power to engines', before boosting off using squirrel FA-off manoeuvres. Manage to get another 'Hal?' into the text as I go. Low wake out.

He's on me again, interdicted insanely quickly. The order to comply arrives. I'm already boosting, manage to type 'Hal?' into text again. He's obviously having trouble hitting me as I barrel about in a cloud of chaff, but I'm taking a hell of a pounding when the hits do land. Make it out.

He chain interdicts me again! 'Hal!' I cry as I boost off, but this time he's not waiting around. I ponder a cheeky high wake, but reckon I can make it. I'm wrong, the Class A shields go down this time, and I accede to his demands to cut engines.

As I sit spinning in FA-off, my hull in tatters, he makes a modest claim on my haulings. I drop the loot, and ask him if he wants some faulty AI thrown in for free? He laughs and says why not. Cool I say, it's in the barrel singing 'Daisy, daisy...'
Sentient AI's illegal for a reason ;)
 
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Nor me really - people focus a lot on the large scale physics of Stellar Forge but the idea that the physics model for the instance (and for the individual bits of individual commanders SRVs) would continue running, and with such physical accuracy, is pretty darn amazing! The way those wheels run smoothly when rolling and then start wobbling and bounding down the hill, eventually correcting themselves back into more of a roll again .. it's a damn good simulation of Newtonian physics as far as I can tell.
On a side note, one of my friends used to own a ford capri and one day the off side wheel just came off. Apparently it carried rolling on as strait as a die. Being on the motorway he pulled over immediately and had to walk a quarter of a mile to retrieve it.

Flimley
 
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I've had a few funnies. So far probably the best was the time someone asked me why I called Imperial Clippers 'cheerleaders'.
I said 'because they're pretty and go down easy.'
Fellow laughed so hard he bounced off an asteroid, which got me laughing so hard I had to cut thrusters and wait it out.
 
I think it was back a while and NPC AI had suffered some kind of bug, every time I went mining the pirates would fly straight into the asteroids.

Remember seeing one FDL playing pinball bouncing off several of them as it was still issuing threats, bounce, "I'm going to boil you up", bounce, "fear me", bounce.

Or the time I got tracked down by an NPC assassin in an Anaconda, again issuing threats that I was dead, I just boosted away as normal but I always take one or two hits before I got out of range. This time nothing, tentatively slowed down and let it catch up, it was still issuing threats but it was just flying round me. Eventually it dawned on me that RNG of ship outfitting had left it without weapons! That was an easy 70k Cr.
 
So what are your funniest moments in Elite? Things you were doing that ended badly but you just had to laugh and just hoq quickly things escalated. It can be anything, even stuff you just do day to day in Elite. Videos are welcome but if you don't have just write it down. It's always good for a laugh and I'm sure other commanders have had the same experiences at some point.

I have two that spring to mind the first one involved Thargoids or should I still say "Aliens" at the moment? Anyway, I was suffering some hull damage that was getting serious (that's how I roll, uber space warrior) so I was heading to Maia, I also had an UA onboard destroying my modules.

I jumped into a system with my UA, a motherload of cartography data and lots of bounties to cash in, at this point I thought "I really don't need a fight right now". I recharged my FS drive and boom, just before I was about to jump out to Maia I get interdiction from online player "Nope!! not now please GOD not now!!" So I fight my way out of the interdiction and luckily the other player failed (despite the entire affair lasting like 3 minutes).

Ok so I'll jump now....GAH! Fuel, I need fuel, so I run to the nearest sun in the system all the while being persued by the online player and managed to grab enough fuel to jump out. Why I do this sort of thing to myself I don't know. Life on the edge and all that.

BOOM! I managed to jump out.

"Yes, Maia here I come."

"What's that noise...that's quite a haunting sound of a whale"

Computer - "Hyperspace conduit has become unstable"

"................................................".

So after all that I arrived in Maia. I headed to Obsidian Orbital. Interdiction!

"OH COME ON"

I put up a good fight, for 15 whole seconds I delivered a barrage of multi cannons and beam lasers from my tactical war rig (or DBX to be exact) to the Anaconda. I feel I dented something, I'm not sure what but I must have hit something!

I failed, my hull went critial and that was it.....despite my best efforts I never made it.

All I could do was laugh (to avoid crying like a child).

------

My second funny moment would be my ever so delicate traversal of a planet surface which escalated to a near death experience. That's normal though right? After all space is big and scary. So I landed on an ice planet with those large crevasse. I landed on the upper surface with a view to take the SRV down.

So I unloaded "super buggy" and headed towards the edge...."gosh that's a long way down" what's amazing about my play style is how it never occured to me to take the ship down, I'd rather try and drive the srv down. It says a lot about how I approach life in general.

So I started my descent, it went really well. Lovely and slow, traversing, finding shallow points that evened out nicely. Steeper and steeper it got. I'm thinking to myself at this point "I need to take the ship down" which is now so far away and high up I can't get back due to the angle of the incline I'm sitting on.

"I'll just keep going" I thought and planned to call the ship once I was down there. I was an a gathering mission anyway so I needed to see what was down there as the scanner was picking a few things up.

The incline got steeper and steeper, traversing was becoming hard and then it happeded...gravity took over.

For reasons best known to themselves the SRV wanted to go down backwards, which it did. I fought hard to turn it around, playing in VR makes this experience quite terrifying to be honest. I turned her around "YES" ...."NO" I see an edge coming up I can't turn from or stop, I threw the SRV into reverse but nothing happened I went over, at this stage the incline was so steep I was on gods humour as to the outcome, the srv started to leave the ground a but from speed and low gravity, I used my boosters to level out. At this stage I'm leaving the ground, facing backwards gaining speed all the time. It occured to me that I really should have just taken the ship down and I started to fantasize about the comfy cockpit.

Then it happend.....I hit a rock and off I went into the fastest spin I've ever experienced, I had to remove my vr headset at this point as it was too much. I watched as I tumbled, spun and smashing into everything. I tried my boosters again to level out, they sort of helped. Eventually after 5 minutes of painful sickness inducing freefall I came to a stop upside down facing the ground with 5% hull left.

I turned over and sat for a moment, I had landed next to one piece of carbon. I colelcted it and called my ship and left.

This is why I can't have nice things.
Oh, look, too funny...very well written dude, have some +rep

Clicker
 
One of my funniest fails was not long after horizons came out.

I decided to take a trip to Ariel to check out the super deep canyons.
I flew around them, in my Cobra MKIII(or maybe my Python), which was a blast.

Then I found a nice flat spot at the top of one of the deepest parts, and landed.
I deployed my SRV, and mostly faffed about, driving along the cliff edge, getting used to the handling.
Then i went "inland" away from the canyon to explore a hit on my scanner.
Turned out to be some materials i didn't need. So i headed back to my ship.
On approach, i saw it just sat nearly. So i thought, "I'm gonna try and jump on the roof and sit on it!"
So i put all power to engines, full speed, and jumped.
As the ship rapidly approached, i pulled up and boosted to slow myself.
But alas, my thrusters went offline due to proximity to my ship.

And i casually glided over my ship, and down in to the canyon below.

Trying to correct my fall, i ended up making things worse and got in to a bit of a free fall tumble.

My ship had dismissed itself before i hit the bottom.

And exploded.

:D
 
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