Heh, PvP is certainly not a deal breaker, some player interaction might be. I am surprised by the number of 'don't buy it' responses, cos it would seem...I have already been branded a potential moaner! I can afford the 40 quid, its still more than I have played for a game in a very long time, feels odd forking the money out up front these days, and I never play on consoles so avoid the costs there also. I honestly thought that not ONE reply would suggest I didn't buy the game. It seems that a few a very protective of the game they have purchased, and invested in, perhaps since the kick stater campaign, I didnt expect that either!
You need to understand a few things about the community since release.
1 - There's a large number of players who played the original, have been playing/testing 6-12 months and have seen the game develop from early days. In addition they (and I'm one of them) have seen all the plans of what it should have been at release, and what was actually released. Overall, for me, while it is a great game, I've seen it get dumbed down and simplified from what we seen in Beta and where it was meant to go, to what we have now. I understand in most instances why it is so, and also understand it will get a lot better given some time. That doesn't change the fact for me that it is a lot less than what was aimed for right now. The biggest disappointment is what you seem to crave, which is the group and social aspect. In a word, the
multiplayer aspect, which is currently lacking by quite some margin, in my opinion. However I also believe that in the next few months this will be sorted out.
2- New players come in and a large number of them are used to dumbed down spoon fed tosh that we have generally seen released over the last few years in particular. This group expects ED to be much the same, and in my opinion have had a negative impact on the game with a lot of forum posts wanting changes that will change the game from Elite into just another spoon fed piece of trash. They seem to want WoW in space. So a lot of forum posts are along those lines and get very tiresome. Some make good points but the majority go along the lines of "This game sucks" & "I got killed, game is broken" sort of thing. The reality is for 99% of the posts along those lines that I've seen, it is the players own fault that they died, or were otherwise adversely affected, due to lack of understanding of how the game works. The saddest thing of all is that the devs have responded and dumbed the game down seemingly in response to this sort of drivel. So for me the game is currently less than what it should have been and devs have started making some bad decisions in response to forum whine. We shall see what happens in the New Year and if they tune it back up, and start putting into the game what should have been in for release.
3- This is currently primarily a solo game with some (basic) multiplayer tacked on to it. It's also a heavily PvE game, and I think will always be so. PvP isn't an issue at all currently. Either you play in Solo or Group mode and don't see any of it at all, or even in Open play it is very, very difficult to instigate any player killing, Pirating, Bounty Hunting, or anything else, against anyone other than total noobs, as it is so easy to avoid it or escape. You will occasionally have some PvP against someone else who is willing, but be under no illusions, if they know what they are doing and do not wish to PvP there is nothing you can do about it. Anyone saying they got ganked, griefed, killed, or anything else is just a noob and without a clue how to play. Which is why said things have happened to them.
4- There is next to no griefing in this game, (see point 3) because it is impossible to do it. It is also the only community I have ever seen in the last 20 years that abuses that term to mean just about everything it does not, and this has been the case since Beta.
So, with that background, and the fact that most people on the forums and in the community are a pretty honest bunch, even if they have totally conflicting viewpoints to my own, based on your original post, most people will be upfront and tell you to wait until Wings is released, or give it a few months before buying.
Which overall, I find reassuring and refreshing in a community, it doesn't happen often in gaming communities, as either they are rabid fans, or total trash talkers, with a smattering of overzealous forum mods.
You don't get so much of that here, although you do get some of it. Overall, people will just say what they think, and you need to take from it what you can.
I'd advise you to do the same with this post.