These might have already been addressed; but with the poster's tone and complete lack of consideration toward another community member, I have to take a stand before I've read the rest of the thread. I'll update accordingly should I myself be jumping the gun.
So, every single thing that happened to you was entirely your fault. Now, let me tell you why.
[masked swearing redacted - please avoid this thank you]you SHOT A COP. What did you think was going to happen? Incidentally, 1.1 made NPC feds more tolerant of player aggression, so don't pretend you just grazed him. Learn some fire control, and check your target - if it looks like a friendly has a chance of getting hit, wait. First mistake.
Shooting an NPC and an NPC getting shot can be two very different things in this game. I've experienced this many times myself: on target, good thrust and speed management with the target's destruction unavoidable; only to have a System Authority Vessel fly at speed directly into my fire lane without warning. This is not my mistake and indeed in the OP's case, not player error.
Would you willingly fly into another ship's fire lane? No. Of course not. It's an AI issue. To then have the game punish you for its own inadequacies is a kick in the teeth.
Let's look at it from another perspective. You are NPC bounty hunting at a Nav beacon; as am I with a group of friends. We are both on the same target and in my eagerness to get the last hit, I pull in to your fire lane without warning and you hit me, picking up a bounty in the process. As you are now fair game, me and all my friends turn on you and render you to space dust without you having enough time to escape or any hope of fighting back.
Some people on these boards would call that griefing. It is the NPC's fault it got hit. Not the player's.
The cardinal rule of docking is this: The larger ship ALWAYS has the right of way. If you are in a smaller ship, docking, check for larger ships, and then check again. Third mistake.
Again, this is the NPC's fault. If you see a ship docking in front of you, you match speed to avoid collision, right? If I was docking in a Cobra and you were behind me in an Anaconda, you wouldn't plough straight through me. You'd slow down. NPC's don't because they are idiots. Again, the game punishes you because of its own inadequacies.
Your other points RE: insurance are fair enough but there's no reason to get all haughty about it.