General / Off-Topic Challenge: A thread that doesn't end up being derailed by joysticks

To prove how difficult it is in Elite: Dangerous to have a thread that doesn't get derailed by talking about joysticks or controllers, I present you this challenge:

[this space is deliberately left blank];)
 
Actually I've got a question about Excel.

Will using my X52Pro joystick in Excel give me a competitive advantage over my colleague?
 
But will it be released on time? sob...sob....
Indeed. And while we are not on the subject, I recently bought one of these;

folding-campsite-washing-up-bowl-xl.jpg


Will it be capable of running the Alpha or will I need to upgrade the graphics card to one of these?

black-folding-chairs-2401874.jpg
 
I am having terrible issues with mapping controls to my joystick...
I think I may need till they sort out the multiple controller issues for it to work :(

Atari-2600-Joystick2_zps6a1e014c.jpg
 
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