Welcome to the 114th Drabble show. My playlist tonight is 20 of the hottest new releases. I'm your replacement Drabble jockey, Diddy Frankie Shmoe, and I hope tonight's broadcast isn't interrupted by a police raid... again.
Here's a shout out to two big friends of the show, Simoof and MrMogadon. They won last week's contest. Great work guys! They came up this week's topics, "We interrupt this broadcast..." and "Static".
This show we've come to know and love, is famous around the Galaxy, but I'll go over the rules for the benefit of our new listeners. Above me is a bunch of options in a poll. It's a multiple choice poll but please limit yourself to only three votes. The results of the poll will be announced on Monday morning. Not only will the winner receive a stylish imaginary toilet paper crown, they will win the honour of deciding next week's topic.
Voting is free to everybody. But here's a warning to the contestants. DON'T VOTE FOR YOURSELVES! Anyone caught voting for themselves will be strapped to a Van de Graaff generator and forced to listen to Psykokow's Twitch shows. The broadcasts will be interrupted by electric shocks every time it looks like they're nodding off.
01 - STRONTIUM DOG - 3301 a space oddity
this report just in, bomb no 20(static hiss) is in negotiations with the death star regarding a cease fire at the SOLARIS negotiations star.
STARSHIP TROOPERS have been deployed by both parties which is RIDDICKouluos at this stage of hostilities.
THE ARRIVAL and COMMUNION of additional forces is unacceptable the DUNE DISTRICT 9 PACIFIC RIM authority declared in there EUROPA REPORT which is a MINORITY REPORT at ths stage of the CONTACT
which stated this could lead to OBLIVION.
PAUL of the EVENT HORIZON's, said he saw FIRE IN THE SKY and PANDORUM followed.
JOHN CARTER was in OFFICIAL DENIAL.
02 - DocStone - Ghost's warning
Lave Station’s comms panel lit up: **PRIORITY TRAFFIC** flashed onscreen, angry and red.
The room fell silent.
“…day, mayday, this is the …ship Daedalus, we are und …tack from vessels of unknown …in Lave Station, this is th… …dalus, …appear …alien in origin …mayd …”
“What?” exclaimed the Station Cmdr, “The Daedalus vanished mid-jump over 30 years ago…”
“..ave Station, do you copy… Thargoids are com…”
Space outside the station boiled and seethed. Strange, alien shapes began to emerge from the depths.
Like a herald of death, the wreckage of the Daedalus floated on before them.
The Thargoids were here.
03 - Simoof - THE DEAFENING SLUMBER
Stars blinked out. Dark shadows forming in their wake. The commander looked closer growing queasier by the second. He was surrounded by 100's of dormant ships, Anacondas, Orcas...
Faltering backwards he stumbled over his 4-legged companion. Dead, blood trickling from every orifice. Heartbroken he lashed out. The radio exploded. Suddenly the ship resurrected.
Movement on the scanner... He ran to hail...
"WHAT THE..."
04 - Frank - The Ghost with Good Taste
He was all alone in a distant undiscovered system. What's that noise? His Asp creaked as the sun heated another part of the ship. A shower of micrometeorites hitting the hull sounded like the scuttling of an animal.
He switched on Radio Lave for some company. Psykokow's show should be on. That's funny! The radio had lost its tuning and was playing static.
After retuning he went through to the galley for a night-time cuppa. Psykokow was reading entries from a story competition. He rushed back into the cockpit when the radio went silent. Someone had switched off the radio.
05 - Darkoba - Not to everyone's taste...
The experimental band's noise blasted throughout the station's P.A. system. In the bar, Frank asked Sven for a drink, unusually with two olives. Puzzled, Sven complied.
Frank shoved an olive in each ear. Smiling at the relative silence, he licked his fingers, downed his drink and signalled for another.
Meanwhile, a security squad smashed open the barricaded comms-centre doors and arrested the two kids who were broadcasting so-called music from their favourite group, "The Static"
Captain-of-Security Hennesy killed the 'music', activating the P.A. microphone.
"We gratefully interrupt this broadcast. The perps are arrested and the recordings will be spaced immediately."
06 - Listeri69 - We interrupt this broadcast to bring you more Dross read by psykokow
Simoof was excited he was staying in the New Mandarin Hotel in Boston Base he read through the pamphlet again.
The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance. He always tries to have intercourse with all guests. Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.
Simoof was Ex-Static
07 - Alien - The Alien Chronicles: Part 3
The Military ship "The Thymus" came to a precisely controlled landing next to The Equinox. Its Captain walked out "Report Captain". Ferbus proceeded to recount the events that had led them to quarantine the mysterious object.
While the two Captains were discussing who had command of the situation, a door on the object opened, and three dwarfs walked out wearing togas. They had some green stems on them and although their language was untranslatable, it seemed they wanted to give the Captains, the green stems.
The universal translator kicked in with "A brief history of thyme" before fading into static.
08 - Erik Marcaigh - 1987
Johnny was immersed in his game, even wearing a space helmet made of one of Mom's colanders with odd springs and diodes sticking out randomly. In the background, he could hear the "Miami Vice" tune playing while Mom and Dad watched TV.
The tune stopped short and Johnny turned to see what was making his parents upset, an image of a man in a spacesuit came on the TV.
"...tacting Commander John Blackhorn. Please respond. Your assistance is needed immediately. Thargoids are crossing time to attack. Be ready to protect yourself!"
The image shifted to the window. Stars. Or static?
09 - Ian Phillips - Missed the shot
The firing squad stood to attention, weapons smartly by their sides. The prisoner was led, blindfolded, to stand on the big, stained X in front of the wall.
A drum clattered, building up tension and stopping suddenly as the sentence was read out by Captain Marcaigh.
Simoof stood on the X as the weapons were raised....
"We interrupt this broadcast to.."
The camera feed dissolved into visual and audio static for a few seconds until it reset itself.
On screen a body was being dragged away, seen through a haze of dust and smoke.
"Damn, missed it through the static!"
10 - Splendour - Live on Aiaaaaagh
In space nothing is truly still.
Planets loop around stars, stars circle around the centre of the Milky Way, which in turn speeds away from the Big Bang.
To the observers on Lave Station the Orange Sidewinder was static, its orbit around the planet and its rotation perfectly matching those of the entrance to the docks it hung a kilometre from.
Relative to the pilot of the shiny new asp boosting out of said dock the Sidewinder was anything but static, rather it was hurtling towards the Asp at 320 km/h.
“Welcome to Lave Radio, live from the Orange Sidewindaaaaahg-”
11 - Alesgriff79 - Docking bay disruption.
The landing bay benign drone of 'musak' stopped!! Sirens wailed, lights flashed and the pre-recorded warning cut in "We interrupt this broadcast... "
Everyone turned to the letterbox to see what was coming their way.
Not unusual for an emergency landing warning to be sounded during their shift, however this one was different. "All emergency trauma teams to docking bay, multiple collisions imminent"
4 ships, none of them with shields engaged or docking permission, came boosting into the bay, all aimed for the back wall.
'Bloody Olympics!! ' he moaned!! 'No consideration for us lot trying to do a normal day's work'.
12 - moose666 - The Unknown Agitator
The scanner played back the soothing hiss of white noise, searching for the signals of unknown artifacts.
Suddenly, a signal, and quite a powerful one too.
A voice - "We interrupt this static to give you... agitation!"
There was a horrendous noise.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
He flipped the scanner off, but it was no help, whatever it was was causing the whole ship to resonate.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Ship systems began to misfunction, he fell out of supercruise.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Five hours of the noise, with no escape.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
He began to screech in harmony with the noise.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Another hour later, he went insane.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
13 - MikeSnos - Newsflash!
... you can rely on!
Welcome back to Hutton Orbital Radio, the radio station with a potential million listeners but only five are in the locality!
Over, now, to Jenny Rator for a newsflash!
Thank you Peter. News just in reveals that the 'personality' known as Psykokow is behind an audacious attempt to take over HOR along with Listeri69, Vingtetun and Simoof.
Sources claim that they are attempting to produce a new rare good of such appallingly bad taste even the great Braben's jumpers are put in the shade. Back to you Peter.
Thank you Jenny, and now for some music....
14 - Clef_Hanger - Who's in the Cobra?
The static made communications difficult.
"Who's in the Cobra?"
....."Yes."
"I mean the commander's name."
....."Who."
"The commander in the Cobra."
....."Who."
"The name of the commander in the Cobra."
....."Who is in the Cobra."
"Don't ask me!........ What is the commander's name in the Cobra?"
....."No, What's in the Asp."
"Who's in the Asp?"
....."What."
"Who is in the Asp?"
....."What."
"WHO IS IN THE ASP?"
....."WHAT IS IN THE ASP!"
"I don't know."
....."He's in the Viper."
"What?"
....."In the Asp."
"So who's in the Viper?"
....."I don't know."
"Neither do I!.........I don't understand."
....."He's the Anaconda"
15 - Missileman - Interrupting The Pursuit.
'There behind the asteroid!' the radio cackled turning his viper 80 degrees he had camouflaged well in the cobra
He let out a cursive, they had followed his signal through 6 systems now and he was running dangerously low on fuel no time to scoop from the sun.
If he could just split up the wing he knew he could take them.
He saw a fer-de-lance, a rogue asteroid screamed across the path, the moment had arrived.
'He's Right there get him' screamed the viper pilot
Radio static answered his pursuer
one down he thought as his engines revved up....
16 - insanephoton - Hang the DJ
"Moving on to drabble number 5..."
"Alliance Police! Nobody move. You are all under arrest for the possession of outrgeously poor puns. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be taken down..."
"Knickers!" Listeri exclaimed.
Static crackled as a taser silenced the shouty man.
"Better add resisting arrest ." said the female police officer with a smirk
"We apologise for the interruption to the program. We hope to..." Fozza started to say from the other studio.
A loud squee could be heard in the background, as Kerrash realised that, for once, his show would start on time.
17 - psykokow - Missing Crew
I’ve hunted you throughout the station,
This futile task’s my new fixation,
I’ve search the entire docking bay,
But still no signs of you today.
I rummage through my cargo hold.
Nothing yet, am I getting cold?
The cockpit is my one last chance,
But nothing, not a fleeting glance.
Under my seat, you used to sleep,
So cautiously I take a peek.
An empty space is all that’s there
I Check your quarters, but they’re laid bare.
Like you’ve never been in there
So I call your coms, I’m getting frantic,
But all I seem to hear is,
Static
18 - Edith_The_Hutt - The Death of George Lucas
The Eagle's port engine had developed a flaw. Instead of sending a neutral plasma flow directly aft, it emitted a magnetically segregated flow which veered to the right, spilling slightly over the hull. The pilot grumbled and manually corrected for the drift, oblivious to the static charge gradually building on his ship's surface as it boosted towards the starport...
----
"We interrupt this broadcast for breaking news: A disaster has occurred aboard George Lucas station following a massive electrical discharge from a docking Eagle fighter. The station is believed to be suffering catastrophic power failure, disabling all communications and life support."
19 - MrMogadon - The Immortal
Small stones and sand, stampeded by the snarling wind, skitter in dervish ls across the tundric landscape, filling hollows and building drifts.
In this desolation, a shelter huddles in the permanent gloom. Inside a figure in bloodied singlet, hobbles painfully towards a chair. A radio emits a string of crackles and hisses.
“We interrupt this broadcast of Classic Static. Uncertainty still surrounds the mysterious disappearance of revered actor Bruce Willis. Plans concerning Die Hard MCCXIV – Die SupraCosmicCollossalOptimalUltraMaxDiamondHardererest have been suspended. The search continues”
Bruce knows he'll eventually be found, but plans to enjoy his solitude whilst it lasts. Yippie-kai-yay Mather-Fokker
20 - Galactic Midden - Don't interrupt the broadcast
"Dave do you have it yet?" Celine asks tensely aboard Jupiter 5.
<it's several moments before the low bandwidth carrier returns Dave's replyt>
"I hear it... but it's dim and my equipment's started malfunctioning"
<another long moment passes>
"Is it doing anything int..?"
<bzzztppftzzpurp, a short burst of static obscures Celine words>
"It's just stationary Celine" comes Dave's reply
"Static?"
"No, I can hear you fine"
"I meant, oh nevermind, what does it look like Dave?"
"Hang on, I'll need to get closer"
"NO DAVE! Do not approach, stick to protocol, do not engage"
<bzzztppftzz>
"Dave?"
<pfffffssssssss>
"PUNY HU-MANN... PREPARE!"
