If you are still attempting to track chronological milestones in order to fit in with humans so they don't notice the zip in your flesh suit, then a quick heads up that today is "Friday". That means it is time for another GalNet Roundup!
THARGOID WAR UPDATE: MARCH 3309 - 29 March 3309
War. Badddum du du dum. What is it good for? Extending all the narratives, SAY IT AGAIN! Yes, the Thargoid War continues to rage across the cosmos as the intergalactic mouldy starfruits maintain their campaign of squishing humanity beneath their appendages of unknowable design. With the return of Aegis and their caustic sink launcher (that sadly does not fire acidic washbasins), independent pilots have maintained a fierce frontline against the carapaced menace. Pilots are now able to go further into the Maelstroms than had previously been possible. However their giant repulsion blasts are keeping them away from the center (whilst providing free rollercoaster style entertainment for pilots who can't be bothered to take their kids to the theme park and have lost all common sense). Aegis have highlighted that they are working hard to investigate solutions to this pulse, so independent pilots may one day get even further into the maelstroms before realising they are personally still quite flammable.
SEO JIN-AE: ‘I BELIEVE SALVATION SURVIVED’ - 30 March 3309
That is not dead that can in Guardian tech lie, and with strange aeons even death may die. The Wytch lives, kinda, claims persecuted test subject Seo Jin-Ae. Seo claims they have evidence that Salvation had a secret master escape plan of fleeing into a computer, like all those sci fi baddies did in the 90s. Salvation, alleges Seo Jin-Ae, had been working on a project to reverse engineer Guardian technology for storing consciousness in a digital form. This was benevolently named 'The Nemesis Failsafe'. It's good to know Salvation had the foresight to really set up their megalomaniac arc in advance so they could sound as Bond-villainish as possible. Aegis have said that they really like the idea, sounds super exciting, but that there is no real evidence that Salvation is floating around in Cyberspace and we should probably not read anything into that bit when our computer freezes up and says "All work and no play makes Caleb a dull boy". Total coincidence, probably a Windows update.
CAINE-MASSEY CEO ASSASSINATED - 31 March 3309
Caine-Massey CEO Johann Fleischer was unexpectedly introduced to the business end of a Manticore rifle this week, and has had to take indefinite leave from this plane of existence. This impromptu visit to the netherworld came as quite a shock to the rest of the company who always relied on their business ethic of not being dead. Fleischer had been attending an oh so exciting sounding Federal Commerce Authority seminar and guests referred to the events of the day as "shocking", "horrifying" and "oh thank the Far God something happened, I was losing the will to live". Thus far the unaliving specialist has avoided detection but circumstantial evidence suggests this could be the work of Imperial Operatives. Is this the work of nefarious Empire shadow agents or is someone looking to throw blame and cause fallout? All we know is it's probably not the best time to start political infighting when there are shrieking death bugs trying to turn humanity into scorch marks.
That's it for this week. Be sure to follow, like and subscribe! There's no button to actually do that, but the notion of doing so might give you the slightest sense of purpose in your fleeting trivial lifespans.
THARGOID WAR UPDATE: MARCH 3309 - 29 March 3309
War. Badddum du du dum. What is it good for? Extending all the narratives, SAY IT AGAIN! Yes, the Thargoid War continues to rage across the cosmos as the intergalactic mouldy starfruits maintain their campaign of squishing humanity beneath their appendages of unknowable design. With the return of Aegis and their caustic sink launcher (that sadly does not fire acidic washbasins), independent pilots have maintained a fierce frontline against the carapaced menace. Pilots are now able to go further into the Maelstroms than had previously been possible. However their giant repulsion blasts are keeping them away from the center (whilst providing free rollercoaster style entertainment for pilots who can't be bothered to take their kids to the theme park and have lost all common sense). Aegis have highlighted that they are working hard to investigate solutions to this pulse, so independent pilots may one day get even further into the maelstroms before realising they are personally still quite flammable.
SEO JIN-AE: ‘I BELIEVE SALVATION SURVIVED’ - 30 March 3309
That is not dead that can in Guardian tech lie, and with strange aeons even death may die. The Wytch lives, kinda, claims persecuted test subject Seo Jin-Ae. Seo claims they have evidence that Salvation had a secret master escape plan of fleeing into a computer, like all those sci fi baddies did in the 90s. Salvation, alleges Seo Jin-Ae, had been working on a project to reverse engineer Guardian technology for storing consciousness in a digital form. This was benevolently named 'The Nemesis Failsafe'. It's good to know Salvation had the foresight to really set up their megalomaniac arc in advance so they could sound as Bond-villainish as possible. Aegis have said that they really like the idea, sounds super exciting, but that there is no real evidence that Salvation is floating around in Cyberspace and we should probably not read anything into that bit when our computer freezes up and says "All work and no play makes Caleb a dull boy". Total coincidence, probably a Windows update.
CAINE-MASSEY CEO ASSASSINATED - 31 March 3309
Caine-Massey CEO Johann Fleischer was unexpectedly introduced to the business end of a Manticore rifle this week, and has had to take indefinite leave from this plane of existence. This impromptu visit to the netherworld came as quite a shock to the rest of the company who always relied on their business ethic of not being dead. Fleischer had been attending an oh so exciting sounding Federal Commerce Authority seminar and guests referred to the events of the day as "shocking", "horrifying" and "oh thank the Far God something happened, I was losing the will to live". Thus far the unaliving specialist has avoided detection but circumstantial evidence suggests this could be the work of Imperial Operatives. Is this the work of nefarious Empire shadow agents or is someone looking to throw blame and cause fallout? All we know is it's probably not the best time to start political infighting when there are shrieking death bugs trying to turn humanity into scorch marks.
That's it for this week. Be sure to follow, like and subscribe! There's no button to actually do that, but the notion of doing so might give you the slightest sense of purpose in your fleeting trivial lifespans.
