Greetings Commanders!
As humanity teeters on the brink of the encroaching abyss, it's time to take a moment and reflect on what's gone wrong...I mean what's in the news this week!
RACKHAM FUNDRAISER SECURES POLITICAL BACKING - 1 May 3309
Zachary 'Man so rich he thinks the coronation looks low key' Rackham is back in the news this week! In their quest to remain out of touch the rich and famous have flocked to a spectacular gala ball, hosted by presidential hopeful Zachary Rackham. Tastefully held as far away as possible from all the smoldering corpses of the intergalactic war going on right outside the window, Rackham's event wined and dined the disgustingly wealthy with panache. Inconvenient laws stop Captain Ultra Rich from funding his campaign himself, so this event is vitally important for ensuring his campaign can move forward. The event itself was filled with insightful revelations, such as Congressman Harlan Turk resigning from the Republican party to join Team Fancy Pants and the news that celebrity PR consultant Anya Blackriver was the one behind the winner of the least amount of effort in slogans award, Rackham's "Just like me" campaign brand. With funding secured Rackham's campaign now has the chance to gain some real momentum.
RESOURCES NEEDED FOR THARGOID PULSE NEUTRALISER - 2 May 3309
With their tests concluded, and with only moderately severe risk likely to those who use them, Aegis has begun the task of preparing the neutraliser devices to combat the Thargoid Maelstroms. In order to ensure they have an adequate supply of devices for the type of people who like to figure out what type of shark something is by checking their tonsils, Aegis is working to cobble the Pulse Neutralisers together. The main items needed are based on unclassified relics, which are created by interfacing Guardian artefacts with Thargoid surface sites, so Aegis is asking for Independent Pilots to send materials needed to build secure storage their way. Of course, with such high value items floating about the place there's bound to be some morons eyeing up credits instead of not dying to whatever lurks within the swirling clouds of 'probably not custard'. In an effort to handle such low IQ threats, Aegis are also offering bounties on pirates in the area.
SEO JIN-AE: ‘THE THARGOIDS KNOW WE’RE COMING’ - 4 May 3309
Celebrity science experiment and involuntary alien podcaster, Seo Jin-Ae has warned that the Thargoids may not be as oblivious to our really blatant attempts to prod them as we might hope. She revealed that they reacted in a weird way when the probes made it past the pulse and she believe that may mean they are prepared for us to head further in. The Empire has dismissed these claims because being cautious or prepared is for snowflakes who think exploding into atoms isn't good enough for them.
That's it for this week. Join us next time after we've had a chance to maybe see what lurks within...
As humanity teeters on the brink of the encroaching abyss, it's time to take a moment and reflect on what's gone wrong...I mean what's in the news this week!
RACKHAM FUNDRAISER SECURES POLITICAL BACKING - 1 May 3309
Zachary 'Man so rich he thinks the coronation looks low key' Rackham is back in the news this week! In their quest to remain out of touch the rich and famous have flocked to a spectacular gala ball, hosted by presidential hopeful Zachary Rackham. Tastefully held as far away as possible from all the smoldering corpses of the intergalactic war going on right outside the window, Rackham's event wined and dined the disgustingly wealthy with panache. Inconvenient laws stop Captain Ultra Rich from funding his campaign himself, so this event is vitally important for ensuring his campaign can move forward. The event itself was filled with insightful revelations, such as Congressman Harlan Turk resigning from the Republican party to join Team Fancy Pants and the news that celebrity PR consultant Anya Blackriver was the one behind the winner of the least amount of effort in slogans award, Rackham's "Just like me" campaign brand. With funding secured Rackham's campaign now has the chance to gain some real momentum.
RESOURCES NEEDED FOR THARGOID PULSE NEUTRALISER - 2 May 3309
With their tests concluded, and with only moderately severe risk likely to those who use them, Aegis has begun the task of preparing the neutraliser devices to combat the Thargoid Maelstroms. In order to ensure they have an adequate supply of devices for the type of people who like to figure out what type of shark something is by checking their tonsils, Aegis is working to cobble the Pulse Neutralisers together. The main items needed are based on unclassified relics, which are created by interfacing Guardian artefacts with Thargoid surface sites, so Aegis is asking for Independent Pilots to send materials needed to build secure storage their way. Of course, with such high value items floating about the place there's bound to be some morons eyeing up credits instead of not dying to whatever lurks within the swirling clouds of 'probably not custard'. In an effort to handle such low IQ threats, Aegis are also offering bounties on pirates in the area.
SEO JIN-AE: ‘THE THARGOIDS KNOW WE’RE COMING’ - 4 May 3309
Celebrity science experiment and involuntary alien podcaster, Seo Jin-Ae has warned that the Thargoids may not be as oblivious to our really blatant attempts to prod them as we might hope. She revealed that they reacted in a weird way when the probes made it past the pulse and she believe that may mean they are prepared for us to head further in. The Empire has dismissed these claims because being cautious or prepared is for snowflakes who think exploding into atoms isn't good enough for them.
That's it for this week. Join us next time after we've had a chance to maybe see what lurks within...
