sallymorganmoore
Senior Community Manager : Elite Dangerous
Greetings Commanders.
I am not Paul. I am Sally.
UNFORTUNATELY for you all, I resemble Paul very little in the Dark Lord kind of sense, however he is at the moment unable to come to the phone due to reasons we wish him extremely well on.
That being said, he did leave me with the absolute honour of delivering you all his GalNet News Roundup today, which he prepared in advance.
I will play messenger in his honour.
Let's enjoy o7
Greetings Commanders!
A new week descends upon our fragile frames, and to quote one of the great authors of cosmic horror: "AGH! MY EYES! AGH!". Let's take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy a nice cup of tea as terrifying creatures that lurk in the shadows slowly devour our friends and relatives. It's GalNet round up day!
THARGOID PULSE NEUTRALISER BECOMES AVAILABLE - 9 May 3309
In order to help faciliate the new TikTok trend of seeing how easily a face can melt in a giant cloud of apocalypse gas, Aegis is ready to roll out the new Thargoid Pulse Neutralisers. This was thanks to Independent Pilots delivering the supplies needed to set up a new manufacturing centre and the neutralisers are now available from technology brokers on rescue megaships. With these new tools in hand many eager pilots are ready and raring to charge headfirst into the unknown and learn just why we've suddenly started quoting Lovecraft.
INTO THE MAELSTROMS - 10 May 3309
With the Pulse Neutralisers carefully installed on their ships through engineering, duct tape and hope, the first vessels have begun their journey into the dark swirling miasma of the Thargoid Maelstroms. Data collected from the ships that have successfully entered and not exploded from admiring the view reveals a tremendous Thargoid presence. This is absolutely shocking news as no one could have expected Thargoid stuff in a Thargoid Maelstrom. Exactly what lurks within has not been fully corroborated but one witness is quoted as saying "It was so pretty right up until I exploded". Thargoid Pulse Neutralisers are available from rescue megaships if you have an urge to test how durable your eyes are.
GROUND TROOPS ENCOUNTER THARGOID DRONES - 12 May 3309
In todays episode of "How could things possibly get any worse", reports reveal that the Thargoids have unleashed a new tool for kicking humanity when they are down. Planetary settlements in Thargoid contested areas have encountered new Thargoid ground machines, which appear to be drone like in origin. This new variant of bug zapper cruelly Uno reverse cards us on exactly who is getting zapped, as these drones are capable of launching some vicious volleys of doom upon anyone they encounter. They are immediately hostile to humanity, which seems kind of fair considering we did try to kill their entire race not too long ago, and provides good evidence to suggest the Thargoids have planted their flag in our space. Thankfully these drones can be countered by the careful application of violence but it does mean that the Thargoid war has escalated a tad.
That's it for this week. If you survive trying to hug the enormous horrors that hide away outside of our imagination, then be sure to join us next week for another installment of "Why it's wrong to have hope".
You're a legend, Paul o7
I am not Paul. I am Sally.
UNFORTUNATELY for you all, I resemble Paul very little in the Dark Lord kind of sense, however he is at the moment unable to come to the phone due to reasons we wish him extremely well on.
That being said, he did leave me with the absolute honour of delivering you all his GalNet News Roundup today, which he prepared in advance.
I will play messenger in his honour.
Let's enjoy o7
Greetings Commanders!
A new week descends upon our fragile frames, and to quote one of the great authors of cosmic horror: "AGH! MY EYES! AGH!". Let's take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy a nice cup of tea as terrifying creatures that lurk in the shadows slowly devour our friends and relatives. It's GalNet round up day!
THARGOID PULSE NEUTRALISER BECOMES AVAILABLE - 9 May 3309
In order to help faciliate the new TikTok trend of seeing how easily a face can melt in a giant cloud of apocalypse gas, Aegis is ready to roll out the new Thargoid Pulse Neutralisers. This was thanks to Independent Pilots delivering the supplies needed to set up a new manufacturing centre and the neutralisers are now available from technology brokers on rescue megaships. With these new tools in hand many eager pilots are ready and raring to charge headfirst into the unknown and learn just why we've suddenly started quoting Lovecraft.
INTO THE MAELSTROMS - 10 May 3309
With the Pulse Neutralisers carefully installed on their ships through engineering, duct tape and hope, the first vessels have begun their journey into the dark swirling miasma of the Thargoid Maelstroms. Data collected from the ships that have successfully entered and not exploded from admiring the view reveals a tremendous Thargoid presence. This is absolutely shocking news as no one could have expected Thargoid stuff in a Thargoid Maelstrom. Exactly what lurks within has not been fully corroborated but one witness is quoted as saying "It was so pretty right up until I exploded". Thargoid Pulse Neutralisers are available from rescue megaships if you have an urge to test how durable your eyes are.
GROUND TROOPS ENCOUNTER THARGOID DRONES - 12 May 3309
In todays episode of "How could things possibly get any worse", reports reveal that the Thargoids have unleashed a new tool for kicking humanity when they are down. Planetary settlements in Thargoid contested areas have encountered new Thargoid ground machines, which appear to be drone like in origin. This new variant of bug zapper cruelly Uno reverse cards us on exactly who is getting zapped, as these drones are capable of launching some vicious volleys of doom upon anyone they encounter. They are immediately hostile to humanity, which seems kind of fair considering we did try to kill their entire race not too long ago, and provides good evidence to suggest the Thargoids have planted their flag in our space. Thankfully these drones can be countered by the careful application of violence but it does mean that the Thargoid war has escalated a tad.
That's it for this week. If you survive trying to hug the enormous horrors that hide away outside of our imagination, then be sure to join us next week for another installment of "Why it's wrong to have hope".
You're a legend, Paul o7
