I don't know what being a janitor was like back in the 21st century, but whoever came up with the title lacked a sense of glamour and foresight.
As the janitor for a state of the art capital ship in 3302 I've learned how to fix everything from a broken sink, to repairing comms systems, to routing rodents, cleaning spills, and everything in between. I've seen good men on the Bridge. Warriors who inevitably fade into the background music of the galaxy as life takes them down other paths. Friends, poets, come and gone as I sweep their old bunks to prepare them for the next up-and-comer. A few stay around, like the Broker.
He's one of those guys who seems to be guided by a higher ideal. A greater sense of purpose. Always seeking the diplomatic solution and quick to make headlines with a catchy article. He plays the political game to create opportunity for those aboard our beloved capital ship. I think he may even be royalty as he has a title. He's been around since the beginning, though he's hardly the only star of the show. That guy over there with the thousand light-year stare is the Captain. He's spent more time on the eve of battle than he cares to admit, and his ability to spark loyalty shines through in the quality of his crew. Sometimes I think there's more to him than he lets on... I'm just glad he's on our side. The sound of laughter echoing down the hall from the barracks brings life to the ship. I'm more than happy to have him around, even if i think he may be a war criminal in some systems. Speaking of war criminals, when I first met the Quartermaster he was flying a python with the infamous pirate paint. He lives almost exclusively at ol' Tommy docks now, where you'll see him running a new 'conda for diplomatic missions. He may have lost the hatch breakers, but he kept his old straw hat for sentimental purposes. A hard worker, that one. Quiet, too. Between him and the Capt' we may be in line for galactic domination some day.
They never tell you how to work with spreadsheets in janitor school. Not that there is a janitor school, but if there was... well, you get the point. Some days I help the Captain remove stray dogs from the cargo hold, other days I'm making sure the Quarter master has access to every economy from here to Juru. When the Broker comes calling for a new station to be built, an economic upgrade, or a new type of commodity you can bet I'll have the logistic data on his desk before morning. Heck, I even had to change my name. But that's another story. My job isn't without it's perks though... The crew have been more than generous and I never have to work another day in my life. I also know this ship inside and out... Threw in a secret door in the old broom closet. Nothing in there, but it's a fun way to scare the newbies. You get to know everyone's name when you're changing the garbage and mopping floors.
It sure beats the hell out of working for my family's mining company. I've had a lot of spare time since the wife took off to the far side, too. Somehow I'm hoping this cap-ship will get me to her some day. Maybe salvage whats left of our lives after being apart for ages. But none of that matters right now. All that counts is that the toilets are clean, the cookie crumbs are swept up, and the tinfoil is well stocked.
Now, I ain't there when the crew are using the toilets, but I sure know they're happy that I've cleaned them. I guess that's a roundabout way of saying its a thankless job at times, but I know they're smiling somewhere and that makes it all worth it. If only I could wrestle the dang ship's AI into taking care of the toilets for me... programming... Just another thing I need to learn as the Janitor.
Edit:
And if you see that mighty Jamaican dread pirate tell him... I'm sorry.
As the janitor for a state of the art capital ship in 3302 I've learned how to fix everything from a broken sink, to repairing comms systems, to routing rodents, cleaning spills, and everything in between. I've seen good men on the Bridge. Warriors who inevitably fade into the background music of the galaxy as life takes them down other paths. Friends, poets, come and gone as I sweep their old bunks to prepare them for the next up-and-comer. A few stay around, like the Broker.
He's one of those guys who seems to be guided by a higher ideal. A greater sense of purpose. Always seeking the diplomatic solution and quick to make headlines with a catchy article. He plays the political game to create opportunity for those aboard our beloved capital ship. I think he may even be royalty as he has a title. He's been around since the beginning, though he's hardly the only star of the show. That guy over there with the thousand light-year stare is the Captain. He's spent more time on the eve of battle than he cares to admit, and his ability to spark loyalty shines through in the quality of his crew. Sometimes I think there's more to him than he lets on... I'm just glad he's on our side. The sound of laughter echoing down the hall from the barracks brings life to the ship. I'm more than happy to have him around, even if i think he may be a war criminal in some systems. Speaking of war criminals, when I first met the Quartermaster he was flying a python with the infamous pirate paint. He lives almost exclusively at ol' Tommy docks now, where you'll see him running a new 'conda for diplomatic missions. He may have lost the hatch breakers, but he kept his old straw hat for sentimental purposes. A hard worker, that one. Quiet, too. Between him and the Capt' we may be in line for galactic domination some day.
They never tell you how to work with spreadsheets in janitor school. Not that there is a janitor school, but if there was... well, you get the point. Some days I help the Captain remove stray dogs from the cargo hold, other days I'm making sure the Quarter master has access to every economy from here to Juru. When the Broker comes calling for a new station to be built, an economic upgrade, or a new type of commodity you can bet I'll have the logistic data on his desk before morning. Heck, I even had to change my name. But that's another story. My job isn't without it's perks though... The crew have been more than generous and I never have to work another day in my life. I also know this ship inside and out... Threw in a secret door in the old broom closet. Nothing in there, but it's a fun way to scare the newbies. You get to know everyone's name when you're changing the garbage and mopping floors.
It sure beats the hell out of working for my family's mining company. I've had a lot of spare time since the wife took off to the far side, too. Somehow I'm hoping this cap-ship will get me to her some day. Maybe salvage whats left of our lives after being apart for ages. But none of that matters right now. All that counts is that the toilets are clean, the cookie crumbs are swept up, and the tinfoil is well stocked.
Now, I ain't there when the crew are using the toilets, but I sure know they're happy that I've cleaned them. I guess that's a roundabout way of saying its a thankless job at times, but I know they're smiling somewhere and that makes it all worth it. If only I could wrestle the dang ship's AI into taking care of the toilets for me... programming... Just another thing I need to learn as the Janitor.
Edit:
And if you see that mighty Jamaican dread pirate tell him... I'm sorry.
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