A letter of Apology.

Kolato · Apr 4, 2016

Seeing the Distant Worlds expedition finally reach it's end, i got myself together and decided to just say this;

I'm sorry.
I don't know what i was expecting, i had been at beagle point just right before the expedition started, and even that expedition never interested me a whole lot. I think the launch set the mood of things to come from the start. Instancing seperated me from everyone i knew, and it essentially left me out. It continued of course, until the point where i think i just asked to myself, why care? And it only got worse from then. It's a very special, and frankly depressing feeling, to be in a crowd of people, yet alone. I couldn't find anything in the expedition to enjoy, following the trails of others, was never really "exploration" in any way for me. Knowing that whatever i even explored was most likely to have been picked up by others didn't exactly make it better. Playing elite started to feel like a chore, and i often just didn't even bother, which left me where i am today. Of course the technical issues weren't exactly helping.

I'm not blaming frontier here, for their instancing mechanics or exploration, which although needs to be redone, isn't the fault of the problem.
Maybe i set my expectations too high, i don't know.

But nevertheless, i will move on, eventually. I'm taking a break from elite, at least for now.
But i am sorry for just leaving without a notice, i hope you understand.

Jackie Silver · Apr 4, 2016

I won't say "don't go", but I will say "until we meet again!"

I relate to some of what you've said about the DW experience - I'd never been particularly interested in going "to Sagittarius A*" or "to Beagle Point" as an end in itself. I felt myself torn between following the expedition and doing what I wanted to do (and there's the spectre of FD handing out nifty bonuses of some kind for people who went the whole way, which has been nagging at me) and at one point I was within a second of deliberately destroying the ship of another CMDR at WP21 from a combination of stress and annoyance with the way they were behaving. Too much weight, though perhaps that's the opposite to not being able to socialise.

I suppose it's a really heavy undertaking - a lot of people, a lot of time, a lot of effort - there's bound to be some bad with the good.

I hope a break refreshes you.

Eisen · Apr 4, 2016

That's sad Kola, especially as you were so keen to come along before the expedition started and we had fun together.
The instancing-issues have been frustrating, but most of us have made friends in the Fleetcom-channels, not ingame. In my case as soon as I joined Discord everything changed. Had I not done that, I may have felt like you. It made "the" difference for me.
So again - sad to see you go.

Ziggy Stardust · Apr 4, 2016

A couple of things. One, apology not needed. Two, completely understand Elite Fatigue, having a bit of it myself right now, and Three, you didn't make it an Open Letter, so whatever you feel you need to apologize for, Zeus knows I appreciate that

Get your feet up, get a load off, and see you whenever you feel like it.

All the best!

newman1702 · Apr 4, 2016

There were times when playing Elite also felt like a chore during the expedition, so I can totally understand your sentiment. I honestly don't think you have anything to apologize for here. Take a break, and see you when you're back I guess

Traveller_GG · Apr 4, 2016

Instancing has been something of a sword of Damocles hanging over the meetups but I think we've got the protocol for meeting up with mates sorted now. I think you're right in setting the expectations high at the start: I had none. I was totally in it 'just cos', waiting to see what would happen and hopefully support anyone struggling to make it. That and meeting up with Frawd again - and THAT was because the idea was so barking I had to do it

I think you carry what you have when you set off, and that can be the making or ruination of any journey.

Pharoh · Apr 4, 2016

I am Sorry you feel that way, hopefully you wont be gone long.

I know the instancing was getting on your nerves when we met quite a while before DW

Cheers CMDR

Cdr Voorheez · Apr 4, 2016

No need to apologise CMDR, enjoy what you are going to do and I look forward to seeing you again when you return to us. You are always welcome back. Right on Commander!

Zimz · Apr 5, 2016

Quick question, and don't take this the wrong way, but were you involved in the Discord, TeamSpeak, and Skype chat that was provided for this expedition? I felt the same way after a couple waypoints, but after I got on Discord everything changed. It's so much easier to be part of the community with real-time communication. Almost all of the shenanigans and teaming up at waypoints was done using one of those. Discord seems to be the main Beagle Point hangout.

Olivia Vespera · Apr 5, 2016

AW man I wish you well, we should have tried to meet.

Jon474 · Apr 5, 2016

I made it to WP18 on Sunday evening. I took off from the planet last night with the clear aim of making a start on the journey to WP19 but I suddenly became really fed up with the relentless drive to reach the next waypoint. I saw the nearby nebula and thought, I'll go and take a look. Two hours later I am having the best time I've had in over sixty days. Exploring. Properly exploring. What's that over there? What atmosphere type is that Icy moon? How far can I get in this sparse region without resorting to Long Jumps? Oh, I'm stuck...time to backtrack etc. The hours flew by.

Now, I find myself seriously questioning whether or not to resume the trek to BP. Whether I should head "west" and head back along the Perseus Arm.

Just writing that feels like heresy.

Not sure, anymore...
Jon
T-6E

Witzo · Apr 5, 2016

Jon474 said:
I made it to WP18 on Sunday evening. I took off from the planet last night with the clear aim of making a start on the journey to WP19 but I suddenly became really fed up with the relentless drive to reach the next waypoint. I saw the nearby nebula and thought, I'll go and take a look. Two hours later I am having the best time I've had in over sixty days. Exploring. Properly exploring. What's that over there? What atmosphere type is that Icy moon? How far can I get in this sparse region without resorting to Long Jumps? Oh, I'm stuck...time to backtrack etc. The hours flew by.

Now, I find myself seriously questioning whether or not to resume the trek to BP. Whether I should head "west" and head back along the Perseus Arm.

Just writing that feels like heresy.

Not sure, anymore...
Jon
T-6E

Would make a wonderful entry on the post-mortem list of Distant Worlds: "Jon474 was last seen at Waypoint 18 and then disappeared down the Perseus Arm."

avow555 · Apr 5, 2016

Sounds like a break is the best thing for you.
I have had burnout on games before and it's best to leave them well alone.

superflyguy · Apr 5, 2016

no apology required. every pilot must do whatever is right for them.

i can certainly relate to soem of your feelings. It was with a sense of relief, pride, happiness and sadness when I reached BP. All those late nights hitting the FSD and jumping past interesting systems have taken their toll.I will pop in and out this week and then take a short break I think. Could be some time before i return to the bubble.
(do miss my racing though!)

au revoir Kola2